(Rambling) Self Preservation, and Being the Third Wheel

(Rambling) Self Preservation, and Being the Third Wheel Oct 4, 2016 12:03:51 GMT -5 Dan, greatcoastal, and 3 more like this

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Post by timeforliving2 on Oct 4, 2016 12:03:51 GMT -5

Oct 3, 2016 8:24:45 GMT -5 Dan said:

Sept 28, 2016 15:43:32 GMT -5 timeforliving2 said:

I just saw your post above, and when I saw the "I don't want to be the *cheating* husband" part, I felt I had to respond with some wisdom...

timeforliving2 : I appreciate and agree with your reply. But I wanted to add just a personal note. (This may or may not be the angle in which cagedtiger also means it.)

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So... I find that I find myself thinking -- like cagedtiger 's sentiments -- at least I don't want to be "that guy" who was "lying and cheating up 'til the day he got his divorce". In this period, I'm trying to do what is right for my family, get myself in shape: physically and emotionally, financially. I want to become the "me" that would impress the woman that I'd like to meet. I think this is very much in the spirit of JMX 's post "do something kind for future you".

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Dan - I totally understand what you're saying and your position here too. If my situation hadn't turned around I would probably do something similar. Go become the "you" that would be attractive to the next woman you'd like to meet. Go do what seems right for both you and your family.

When the cheating aspect comes up I just like to share that nugget of wisdom from when I connected the dots years ago. It helps us to feel empowered to take whatever action we feel is right for us and it properly frames the source of where our marriage issues probably started, especially if someone has been in a SM from the very beginning like I have.

TL2

mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

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(Rambling) Self Preservation, and Being the Third Wheel

Post by timeforliving2 on Oct 4, 2016 12:03:51 GMT -5

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