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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 30, 2016 10:58:30 GMT -5
You're breaking my heart! My husband lets me go on solo trips and out with friends. I'd die if I were trapped like that! Not looking for sympathy since I feel like its my own choice to stay in this situation so I don't bitch much but who am I kidding I'm looking for sympathy. Dude, you definitely get my sympathy. I can't imagine being trapped and not allowed to socialize without her- especially since she doesn't socialize begin with. I would've left long, long ago. ggold, absolutely. But think about it- testosterone + mixing of the sexes. And you don't even have to be the super fit RX-ing every WOD person to get hit on. Aggressively. |
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 30, 2016 11:37:58 GMT -5
Um, so. Why would you go on a dating site? Dates usually have some social interaction. Seriously, if you don't actually care about the person, just go to Craigslist. Thats why I asked where I could find an actual person who lived nearby. I have zero interest in "dating" I'm looking for someone that in a perfect world was in the same situation as me and just looking for some decent sex, maybe ride my face and then we both go home to our lives. I know I have a better chance of locating a unicorn but if you are going to dream you may as well dream big And honestly I've looked on Craigslist but have you ever looked on there for casual encounters-WFM...its a wasteland and the few things that do post there look like total lies. Ok, I'm going to be a bit of a dick here, and I'm apologizing in advance. Why would you do that to another person? Why would you use them that way? If you want a casual nsa encounter, get a hooker. I'm sure they have them in Delaware, no sales tax, after all. But wtf? Are you really expecting a woman to just lay down and spread them? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2016 13:57:22 GMT -5
Thats why I asked where I could find an actual person who lived nearby. I have zero interest in "dating" I'm looking for someone that in a perfect world was in the same situation as me and just looking for some decent sex, maybe ride my face and then we both go home to our lives. I know I have a better chance of locating a unicorn but if you are going to dream you may as well dream big And honestly I've looked on Craigslist but have you ever looked on there for casual encounters-WFM...its a wasteland and the few things that do post there look like total lies. Ok, I'm going to be a bit of a dick here, and I'm apologizing in advance. Why would you do that to another person? Why would you use them that way? If you want a casual nsa encounter, get a hooker. I'm sure they have them in Delaware, no sales tax, after all. But wtf? Are you really expecting a woman to just lay down and spread them? I have zero desire to be with a hooker. I'm not looking to "use" anyone. I'm looking for someone that is looking for a no strings attached, no expectations of anything more than filling some void that we both have. As I said I know that makes it more difficult to find because it is hard to find two people looking for the same thing with no other expectations. And really a hooker? That is fine if they in that lifestyle by choice but many are in it for other reasons outside of their control that makes that choice even less of an option to me. |
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Post by ggold on Jul 30, 2016 14:04:41 GMT -5
cagedtiger I know several people doing Crossfit. Now I know why!! lol!
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 30, 2016 14:09:01 GMT -5
cagedtiger I know several people doing Crossfit. Now I know why!! lol! Well, it's the community, too. Very supportive, mostly upbeat, and the best boxes really, really take care of their own. When people joke about it being a cult, they're not too far off the mark. |
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Post by ggold on Jul 30, 2016 14:13:52 GMT -5
cagedtiger I know several people doing Crossfit. Now I know why!! lol! Well, it's the community, too. Very supportive, mostly upbeat, and the best boxes really, really take care of their own. When people joke about it being a cult, they're not too far off the mark. I must look into this! I think it would kill me though. I mean, I'm working out to Beachbody 21 Day Fix. That's hard core for me right now! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 30, 2016 15:46:33 GMT -5
Well, it's the community, too. Very supportive, mostly upbeat, and the best boxes really, really take care of their own. When people joke about it being a cult, they're not too far off the mark. I must look into this! I think it would kill me though. I mean, I'm working out to Beachbody 21 Day Fix. That's hard core for me right now! After reading on here about cross fit ,I googled it looking for a location. Instead I found an article, giving a warning. It tells the history of cross fit, and how there are hundreds of really good trainers out there, and thousands of bad ones. It goes on to talk about how easily you can over do it and injure yourself, be careful out there! |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 30, 2016 16:07:41 GMT -5
You're absolutely right; I just told ggold the same thing. But the same can be said for a lot of cults, I mean fitness programs. |
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Post by ggold on Jul 30, 2016 17:11:17 GMT -5
You're absolutely right; I just told ggold the same thing. But the same can be said for a lot of cults, I mean fitness programs. I know people who go and who can recommend. |
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Post by obobfla on Jul 30, 2016 17:35:55 GMT -5
I think it depends on individual gyms. I can see crossfit gyms, as they usually have the more active people. I have gone to gyms, but I never got laid there.
When I was much younger and single, I thought I would try aerobics. The odds were in my favor, as just me as a male in a room full of women wearing leotards. But aerobics kicked my butt! I had played football, wrestled, and ran track. Aerobics was tougher than all three. I started hating a lot of dance tunes, associating them with physical pain. And no, I did not get a single date out of the class.
I would love to go to the gym again, but I just don't think it works for me for finding sexual partners. I am 55 and diabetic. Before and after I work out, I have to test my blood sugar levels, pricking my finger to bleed on a test strip. Plus, I sweat a lot. Not very sexy. What gets me laid most is talking, joking, and being honest like I am here. I wish exercise would do it too, but alas, it does not.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2016 17:46:53 GMT -5
I think it depends on individual gyms. I can see crossfit gyms, as they usually have the more active people. I have gone to gyms, but I never got laid there. When I was much younger and single, I thought I would try aerobics. The odds were in my favor, as just me as a male in a room full of women wearing leotards. But aerobics kicked my butt! I had played football, wrestled, and ran track. Aerobics was tougher than all three. I started hating a lot of dance tunes, associating them with physical pain. And no, I did not get a single date out of the class. I would love to go to the gym again, but I just don't think it works for me for finding sexual partners. I am 55 and diabetic. Before and after I work out, I have to test my blood sugar levels, pricking my finger to bleed on a test strip. Plus, I sweat a lot. Not very sexy. What gets me laid most is talking, joking, and being honest like I am here. I wish exercise would do it too, but alas, it does not. If working out was getting people laid regularly I think there would be a lot more people in better shape. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 31, 2016 5:39:20 GMT -5
If working out was getting people laid regularly I think there would be a lot more people in better shape. Most of the responses from women about getting hit on at the gym have been negative. It seems the ladies would rather just exercise and leave the romance for some other time and some other place. I have had a couple of success stories from the gym but I took a different approach. I just tried to find something humorous and then complimentary about what the woman was doing that she was doing much better than I could. But by and large if I don't get a positive vibe from a woman at the gym before I speak, meaning I think she wants me to open a conversation, then I don't. You're right, if the gym was a great place for romance then obesity wouldn't be a problem. |
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maxie
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Post by maxie on Jul 31, 2016 14:56:09 GMT -5
You know, these outsourcing threads really bother me because I'm not planning to do it. That said, I don't want to judge those who do because I have not walked a mile in their shoes and I totally get that there are cases where it might be a legitimate choice. So, though it's not my thing, I'll reserve judgment. BUT, and this is a big 'but' (IMHO), if you DO outsource, it is truly over. There is no way, no how, you could ever get a refuser to un-refuse once you've outsourced. At least I can't fathom that ever happening. I believe that once you have outsourced, there is no turning back. The marriage can never function at an optimal level. So, I guess I would say, just be aware of that. Outsourcing is a throwing down of the proverbial gauntlet. It's a major blow to trust that most likely will never be recovered. Exercise caution if you have even a shred of hope left that the marriage will work. I guess that's where I'm coming from here. Apparently, I still have a shred of hope that H will come around to my LOVE super powers. H will see the light. H will be the H I want/need him to be. Sigh. I don't actively think of myself as an optimist - I have too much anxiety about life in general (that's anxiety with a small 'a'), but when I write these things, I can see I am a hopeless case. Carry on! |
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maxie
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Post by maxie on Jul 31, 2016 14:57:24 GMT -5
You know, these outsourcing threads really bother me because I'm not planning to do it. That said, I don't want to judge those who do because I have not walked a mile in their shoes and I totally get that there are cases where it might be a legitimate choice. So, though it's not my thing, I'll reserve judgment. BUT, and this is a big 'but' (IMHO), if you DO outsource, it is truly over. There is no way, no how, you could ever get a refuser to un-refuse once you've outsourced. At least I can't fathom that ever happening. I believe that once you have outsourced, there is no turning back. The marriage can never function at an optimal level. So, I guess I would say, just be aware of that. Outsourcing is a throwing down of the proverbial gauntlet. It's a major blow to trust that most likely will never be recovered. Exercise caution if you have even a shred of hope left that the marriage will work. I guess that's where I'm coming from here. Apparently, I still have a shred of hope that H will come around to my LOVE super powers. H will see the light. H will be the H I want/need him to be. Sigh. I don't actively think of myself as an optimist - I have too much anxiety about life in general (that's anxiety with a small 'a'), but when I write these things, I can see I am a hopeless case. Carry on! |
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Post by baza on Jul 31, 2016 17:50:53 GMT -5
I guess the rebuttal arguement would be - that if you outsourced and got caught as your scenario suggests - then one of two things are going to happen
#1 - your spouse will be super pissed off and may divorce you (and, longer term, is that such a bad result ??)
#2 - your spouse will be super pissed off and may make your life a living hell, which may hasten your departure from your ILIASM deal (again, is that such a bad result ??)
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One thing you see in story after story here (where a 3rd party appears in an already dysfunctional situation) is that it is a game changer, every time.
The changes are wildly unpredictable however and can spin off on some crazy tangents.
One tangent that you don't see however, is where the refusive spouse suddenly comes to their senses in light of the outsourcing event and suddenly turns into the spouse of your dreams.
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