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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 15, 2023 17:28:01 GMT -5
I was impressed with the ones in the group who would go hire women. I had a million questions for them! I thought it was the perfect alternative especially because you just don't waste the time on dating sites.
I'm reminded of a night when I was out on a dinner/dance date with Eva. (Eva was the 52 yr old woman who was too busy taking dance lessons and chasing after rich men 30 yrs. older than her,and has passed away recently) I met another woman that night who was in her mid 40's, a short cute buxom blond, in the middle of divorcing and was hot for intimacy and sex!
She was over-impressed with my dancing and let me know quite openly where she stood and what her needs where! ( a rare find? maybe? It was for me!)
I said, "great to meet you!", and she was all "will you be coming here often? hope to see you next week, or before that!" and I then scurried back to the table where Eva was sitting with her other friends. I intentionally made sure I slowly walked passed the small blond with Eva in hand as we went outside to another private table for dinner. ( had I been there alone that night I might be telling a different story!)
With all that said.....it's an interesting hind sight, to think about the " opportunities of being -the other divorced/single guy" to a woman who's still married but getting out of a sexless marriage?
My brain tells me - stick with a woman who is divorced or widowed,and stay away from "married but miserable". My goal is a long term commitment, stay the course.
Sadly my track record of divorced or widowed has been mostly friends only- with no benefits.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 16, 2023 9:32:54 GMT -5
I was impressed with the ones in the group who would go hire women. I had a million questions for them! I thought it was the perfect alternative especially because you just don't waste the time on dating sites.With all that said.....it's an interesting hind sight, to think about the " opportunities of being -the other divorced/single guy" to a woman who's still married but getting out of a sexless marriage? My brain tells me - stick with a woman who is divorced or widowed,and stay away from "married but miserable". My goal is a long term commitment, stay the course. Sadly my track record of divorced or widowed has been mostly friends only- with no benefits. Sadly my track record since my divorce mirrors yours. I have only taken 2 women into my bed in the 8-9 yrs I have been divorced. Both were long term relationships so once started the intimacy continued. One of the women recently died so I have been sexless for nearly 18 months. But I have hopes of ending my drought soon. My thoughts on who not to have sex with. I can only think of one class of women one might avoid. That would be a woman who is only seperated. And that is not a hard and fast rule. Ever opportunity to have sex with a new partner must be weighted individually and on the merits. SO, never say never. You can have a long term committed relationship with a married woman, and you can love a rich woman as easily as you can love a poor one. Carpi diem. |
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Post by jerri on Aug 16, 2023 11:44:48 GMT -5
I was impressed with the ones in the group who would go hire women. I had a million questions for them! I thought it was the perfect alternative especially because you just don't waste the time on dating sites.I'm reminded of a night when I was out on a dinner/dance date with Eva. (Eva was the 52 yr old woman who was too busy taking dance lessons and chasing after rich men 30 yrs. older than her,and has passed away recently) I met another woman that night who was in her mid 40's, a short cute buxom blond, in the middle of divorcing and was hot for intimacy and sex! She was over-impressed with my dancing and let me know quite openly where she stood and what her needs where! ( a rare find? maybe? It was for me!) I said, "great to meet you!", and she was all "will you be coming here often? hope to see you next week, or before that!" and I then scurried back to the table where Eva was sitting with her other friends. I intentionally made sure I slowly walked passed the small blond with Eva in hand as we went outside to another private table for dinner. ( had I been there alone that night I might be telling a different story!) With all that said.....it's an interesting hind sight, to think about the " opportunities of being -the other divorced/single guy" to a woman who's still married but getting out of a sexless marriage? My brain tells me - stick with a woman who is divorced or widowed,and stay away from "married but miserable". My goal is a long term commitment, stay the course. Sadly my track record of divorced or widowed has been mostly friends only- with no benefits. If they're looking for only sex and are MBL my guess is that they are swiping on Tinder? Back when I was looking Tinder wasn't born or maybe it was in its infancy stages.Interesting observation and you are right. OkCupid had some kinky tests that would match you up with someone if they took the same kinky/racy test. I don't know if they still exist. |
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Post by jerri on Aug 16, 2023 11:59:16 GMT -5
I was impressed with the ones in the group who would go hire women. I had a million questions for them! I thought it was the perfect alternative especially because you just don't waste the time on dating sites.With all that said.....it's an interesting hind sight, to think about the " opportunities of being -the other divorced/single guy" to a woman who's still married but getting out of a sexless marriage? My brain tells me - stick with a woman who is divorced or widowed,and stay away from "married but miserable". My goal is a long term commitment, stay the course. Sadly my track record of divorced or widowed has been mostly friends only- with no benefits. Sadly my track record since my divorce mirrors yours. I have only taken 2 women into my bed in the 8-9 yrs I have been divorced. Both were long term relationships so once started the intimacy continued. One of the women recently died so I have been sexless for nearly 18 months. But I have hopes of ending my drought soon. My thoughts on who not to have sex with. I can only think of one class of women one might avoid. That would be a woman who is only seperated. And that is not a hard and fast rule. Ever opportunity to have sex with a new partner must be weighted individually and on the merits. SO, never say never. You can have a long term committed relationship with a married woman, and you can love a rich woman as easily as you can love a poor one. Carpi diem. Sad that you two find sex and they passed away!I think it's a gift when they are fun and excited. I had not ever really stepped in bars or dance class but I was thinking of following my mentors lead and doing some fun line dancing or finding someone who wanted to learn dancing. The more technical dancing looks fun |
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 17, 2023 6:22:25 GMT -5
So while we seek out our next soulmate, we'll pay for hookers.
Is that the strategy we're cobbling together here?
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 17, 2023 7:36:13 GMT -5
So while we seek out our next soulmate, we'll pay for hookers. Is that the strategy we're cobbling together here? mirrororchid,...."hookers" is somewhat derogatory sounding. Let us call them "working girls" or perhaps "ladies of the evening". |
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 17, 2023 7:48:09 GMT -5
So while we seek out our next soulmate, we'll pay for hookers. Is that the strategy we're cobbling together here? Not me! I'm emphasizing the importance of "intimacy, sex,and quality time" in my next relationship. Along with "do not settle". For me that means ending all these "pen pal only- fill in- I'm using you for attention only" relationships. And going after more of the intimacy, sex part of a relationship. When my woman of 3 years continued her once a year "fear of commitment bolting- and making up phony excuses by bad mouthing me to our few friends",I remember my friend telling me " you two sure seemed to have the sex and intimacy part down really good!!" So much for - the glue that holds a relationship together? Just spewing out random thoughts this morning- Now it's time to go "sieze the day!" meeting more people -men and women- today! |
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 18, 2023 6:06:23 GMT -5
So while we seek out our next soulmate, we'll pay for hookers. Is that the strategy we're cobbling together here? mirrororchid,...."hookers" is somewhat derogatory sounding. Let us call them "working girls" or perhaps "ladies of the evening". Was going to invoke the gravitas of history with the oldest profession's connection to the civil war, but got a small education instead: www.historynet.com/hooker-word-origin/My point had been the odd dichotomy of eschewing free casual sex, but paying for the most casual kind there is. This is likely my own hangup. The effort to avoid complicated entanglement when a lady friend grows feelings she meant not to may be well worth the price. Not having ever had casual sex (my wife was supposed to be a two month momentary distraction) I have zero experience with the misery of letting a lady down easy whom I've never committed to. Maybe I'll ask. What are the battle tales of flings becoming heartache for our intended physical partners that turn soft and mushy? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 18, 2023 6:38:31 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 18, 2023 8:08:28 GMT -5
This is some good stuff greatcoastal. In the dating phase of a relationship, approach monetary issues with your date the same way you would with your best friend. I watched the video twice because I wanted to see the reaction of the women in the audiance. Not surprisingly, as they had roundly answered at the video start the man should pay for the date, the women did not look enthusiastic about the prospect of paying their own tab. Now I know the argument from the ladies side. 99% of the time it is the man who asks a woman for a date and so he is obligated to entertain her. But if the goal is a shared and equalitarian relationship, how is it that men are routinely expected to absorb the cost? |
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Post by toughtiger on Aug 18, 2023 16:02:31 GMT -5
This is some good stuff greatcoastal. In the dating phase of a relationship, approach monetary issues with your date the same way you would with your best friend. I watched the video twice because I wanted to see the reaction of the women in the audiance. Not surprisingly, as they had roundly answered at the video start the man should pay for the date, the women did not look enthusiastic about the prospect of paying their own tab. Now I know the argument from the ladies side. 99% of the time it is the man who asks a woman for a date and so he is obligated to entertain her. But if the goal is a shared and equalitarian relationship, how is it that men are routinely expected to absorb the cost? it should be either shared or who asked out ... i would have no problem paying if i asked for the date. |
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Post by heelots on Aug 18, 2023 18:56:10 GMT -5
Call me old school, but if a guy is too much of a tight ass to pay for a date with a lady he asked out I think he might have bigger problems than the fact that he isn't getting any!
That alone screams boor to me, and I am a guy, imagine the message it sends to ladies?
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 19, 2023 5:02:42 GMT -5
. Any chance you can hook up with a FetLife group in your city? No chance....1st of all I don't live close to a major city. Second, I have also explored the polyamory potential in my state. So far it seems no such groups exist in my state. I found a site that listed polyamory groups in eash state. There were none listed for NC. There may be such groups but they are very quiet about themselves. Even Craig's List is pretty sparely populated when it comes to couples seeking a 2nd male. Bi-sexual women get a little more traffic but not males. I am not bi-sexual so it would not help me if there was a lot of interest. As a 74 yr old hetero male it looks like my days are numbered. OK, enough poor mouthing..... |
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 22, 2023 17:55:32 GMT -5
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Post by toughtiger on Aug 22, 2023 18:15:59 GMT -5
I honestly think other then a few here....... that finding and maintaining a FWB might be harder then we imagine....
I live in an older community and from the interactions i have had many men are like a dog on leash ( with no sex at home) ......... They would jump at the opportunity if i made it known ..... but might be too close for comfort maybe i need to find new job with more male co-workers lol
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