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Post by allworkandnoplay on Jan 23, 2022 19:17:41 GMT -5
We have a few things in common. Married over 25 years and having fear holding me back. I do have a longer no sex record though. I think it’s now about 15 ish years?? I was close to leaving. We both hired attorneys and was a few weeks shy of our 4 way meeting when the pandemic began. We both agreed to pause. My anxiety was at an all time high. We also have three kids who have different types of issues/needs. Here I am…still paused. We live a lot like you guys do. We don’t fight. Have basic conversations, mostly about kids/family/household. We have not slept in same bed in forever. I can’t even! I still don’t know the why. Why did he not want me? Now, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t been physically and emotionally well for over a year. I need strength and courage. I want to move on so badly. Sending you positive vibes. G Thank you, and back at you...
I am only lucky insomuch as we should have an easy financial split at this point. Our girls are independent and self-motivated - and now adults, which is what I have had to wait for. One daughter has some medical needs, but she has embraced her needs and is a wonderful self-advocate. I am not concerned about them. I have been researching local lawyers and I am sending notes to several of them this week in hopes of some free consultations. If I can confirm what I believe to be correct, I just need to file and serve papers. I am specifically looking at mediation. I have only been able to save a limited amount of funds to pay for the process, so cost will be a concern. Even if she tries to do something to "punish" me, she really has no grounds and it would be counterproductive to herself. She has never been that kind of person anyway.
I sincerely hope that you can get back on track and find some peace. All my best.
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Post by allworkandnoplay on Feb 4, 2022 1:29:23 GMT -5
Update: A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. Previously... I did a lot of internet research about divorce in my area, worked out all of the financials, including a proposed settlement agreement and budgets for each of us. I pulled all of our accounts, balances, payments, pay stubs, taxes, everything for reference. And now... I have spoken to several lawyers via free consultation. All have verified my personal research. As long as everything stays uncontested, in our situation the particulars write themselves. I live in the suburbs of a pretty large metropolitan area, so costs are high. Quotes for retainers are as much as $5000 up front. So I looked into filing myself pro se (representing yourself). It is actually very easy and straightforward (divorce laws in my state and county are very forgiving and generous). However, scuttlebutt has it that several of the judges here "look down" on pro se filing and often look for ways to find fault with the paperwork resulting in costly delays. I am getting this from general public and not just lawyers trying to up-sell. There are also several lawyers offering a flat fee for uncontested divorce and also come highly recommended. Still charging upwards of $1500, but it is a flat rate and no surprises.
Finally had "The Talk". It was the best, most productive conversation we have had in years. She finally admitted that she had indeed had thoughts about divorce herself, but she had not gone down the rabbit hole nearly as far as I had. She was not at the "I want it" stage, but she agreed it was for the best. She was afraid we could not afford a post-divorce life (as I did before I did all of the math), but I showed her all I had worked up and now she is willing to work on the plan. We went over the options of how we could file. We each agreed that using a single lawyer at a flat rate is the safest option to make sure everything is done right the first time. Even though the lawyer cannot legally represent both of us, I will be the one to officially hire the lawyer and file, and she will "represent herself".
Essentially, we will use the forms provided by the county for pro se filing as "worksheets". We will complete everything, including a finalized Settlement Agreement. That way everything is as we want it. At that point, I will then hire the lawyer to re-draft the paperwork and file with the court. I mentioned that her brother is a lawyer out of state; we also agree to use him for "family" advice throughout as much as he is able and willing.
We informed our children as well. They were upset, but they understood. Neither were too terribly surprised, though. We will maintain status quo on the living arrangements until it is time to leave our current house in a few months, even if the decree is granted a little sooner. We will separate our banking, etc., but we will share expenses through move-out and into our new places - just like roommates.
So, as long as we stay this civil and committed, we should both come out ok in the end. That is all I ever wanted - to just finally be ok. And not just myself, but her as well. There was no blame, no outward anger - plenty of tears, though, from both of us. It won't be easy, but it was just about as agreeable as it possibly could be. Definitely a surprise, but it did make me feel a lot better to know that she had at least had similar thoughts.
Thanks for "listening".
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Post by baza on Feb 4, 2022 3:10:15 GMT -5
Marvellous to see two people acting like adults Brother allworkandnoplay . In my deal (a decade or so ago) I left. Naturally there was plenty of bullshit and recriminations in the early stages, as you'd expect. But fundamentally, my missus was a decent person and we eventually came to the table to work out a fair split of assets. We got our respective lawyers to examine what we proposed, and after a few pretty minor adjustments we were all in agreement. They helped us draw up a BFA (Binding Financial Agreement) which we executed over the course of a few days. That uncoupled us financially and we went our separate ways. About 4 or 5 years later my missus was updating her will etc and figured it made sense to divorce. The court system rubber stamped the old BFA agreement and divorce request and that was that. You CAN have a collaborative end to your marriage, if your spouse is a half decent person. Of course if your spouse is a vindictive prick of a person then they can make the process highly unpleasant and distressing .... which probably confirms what a great idea it was to get rid of them in the first place. |
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Post by allworkandnoplay on Feb 4, 2022 23:58:25 GMT -5
baza: Yeah, we haven't seen too many of these around here, have we? I will count myself lucky and continue to do everything on my end to keep it that way. I prayed hard for this.
While there is much for me to criticize about her, "vindictive" is never how I would describe her. When we would fight she would be more likely to feign capitulation and just stew for a while than try to do anything to get back at me. Even her withholding of sex was not as punishment; more so just an excuse to not be in the mood or to otherwise get out of the act. We have seen too many divorces turn ugly, including a few in our own family and friends. I was hopeful she would remember those and desire to avoid outside drama. Ironically, it was the fact that she considered the thought of divorce herself, even if she hadn't committed, that pulled it all together.
I knew that once she accepted the inevitable things would be ok, I just never considered that it would come in the first two minutes of the conversation. When we told the kids (one on video call, the other one with us, at the same time), they asked the obvious, which of us made the decision? She chimed in first telling them it was both of us, no one was at fault, and no one was going to be made into the bad guy. I have said before that I am honest to a fault, so I did clarify that I had indeed initiated the talk, but that mom had been considering it as well. They needed to see a positive way for adults to handle things so they have a better example than what they have witnessed around us just in the past year. Those were always the parts of her that I loved, and still do love. It is just unfortunate that we became incompatible otherwise, and ended up getting stuck financially. That just turned into resentment for both of us. Once you get to resentment, the relationship is done.
Throughout this journey we have both behaved badly. While in my own mind I certainly blame her in many ways, but I have caused her to have things to blame me for as well. But I am feeling now that we are working to redeem ourselves to each other, and to ourselves in a way. For the first time in a long time I am feeling hopeful. Even though our kids are essentially adults now, they still need us to be the example of what parents are supposed to be. In the end it is not about us, but about them. We have our eyes fixed on them, regardless of how we feel or have acted toward each other. We might have set a bad example of husband and wife these last few years, but you can be damn sure we will make this the right one. And yes, we said we were going to go out like this before we called them in. Still a united parental front.
My new prayer is that we both keep this one final commitment to each other (and to the kids). Besides, I have lost a wife; I can only hope I don't also lose a friend in the process.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 5, 2022 4:21:05 GMT -5
Yes, it is possible to divorce in a collaborative way. My now ex and I did that almost 9 years ago. No acrimony. Lived jointly for a year, deliberately going slow with the divorce, which allowed me to stay on his health insurance until he retired. We both agreed on the settlement, which was fair, not vindictive. We've been pleasant to each other during the process and since. We did not divide up friends or encourage friends or our adult sons to take sides. While I was the one who asked for a divorce, which my now ex immediately agreed to, it ended up that both of us wanted to get out of the marriage. I was the one with the guts to bring up the subject. I also had been the one to get us into marriage counseling, and to try over time to improve our marriage. My ex had just gone through the motions with those things. He'd show up late and avoid talking about the problems in our marriage including our lack of intimacy.
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 8, 2022 7:15:37 GMT -5
...scuttlebutt has it that several of the judges here "look down" on pro se filing and often look for ways to find fault with the paperwork resulting in costly delays. I am getting this from general public and not just lawyers trying to up-sell. There are also several lawyers offering a flat fee for uncontested divorce and also come highly recommended. Still charging upwards of $1500, but it is a flat rate and no surprises.
Finally had "The Talk". It was the best, most productive conversation we have had in years. She finally admitted that she had indeed had thoughts about divorce herself, but she had not gone down the rabbit hole nearly as far as I had. She was not at the "I want it" stage, but she agreed it was for the best. She was afraid we could not afford a post-divorce life (as I did before I did all of the math), but I showed her all I had worked up and now she is willing to work on the plan. We went over the options of how we could file. We each agreed that using a single lawyer at a flat rate is the safest option to make sure everything is done right the first time. Even though the lawyer cannot legally represent both of us, I will be the one to officially hire the lawyer and file, and she will "represent herself".
Essentially, we will use the forms provided by the county for pro se filing as "worksheets". We will complete everything, including a finalized Settlement Agreement. That way everything is as we want it. At that point, I will then hire the lawyer to re-draft the paperwork and file with the court. I mentioned that her brother is a lawyer out of state; we also agree to use him for "family" advice throughout as much as he is able and willing.
... We will maintain status quo on the living arrangements until it is time to leave our current house in a few months, ... We will separate our banking, etc., but we will share expenses through move-out and into our new places - just like roommates. Thanks for this background on the process!!! Please get back with us how those flat rate guys work out for you. They struck me as a clearly superior choice. Great news about the amicable "Talk", the sympathetic understanding for each other, and the plan to co-habitate. I had fantasies of finding a place with an in-law suite I would live in so the kids could visit both of us just by walking outside for 30 seconds. I wanted to move within a bike ride's distance of wherever Mrs. Mirrororchid ended up. (miraculously, it never came to that). I also wondered about converting the basement into a walk-out apartment. Same concept. The less disruption, the less consequential the divorce, was my thought. If you land a judge who's adding on extra expenses, it looks like at least some places, you can withdraw the divorce and start over with a better judge: www.theharrisfirmllc.com/2019/06/09/can-you-stop-a-divorce-once-you-file/Do this as many times as necessary until you find a guy willing to rubber stamp your agreement with the Mrs.? |
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Post by allworkandnoplay on Feb 9, 2022 22:37:35 GMT -5
Just a little update...
We took the weekend apart from each other, to sort of digest everything. We came back at the beginning of the week and started hashing through my proposal. The budgets are very tight, much more so than we are used to. She is not good with financial responsibility (and readily admits to it). Her biggest concerns are her own shortcomings, and fears over unplanned expenses (medical, college expenses for our daughters, etc.). What happens if something comes up and we don't have the money for it because we are spending all of this extra money on separate homes? All good questions on her part. Staying financially entangled makes this much easier. We are still moving forward, but I am glad to see she is taking it seriously without using it as an excuse to derail the process.
We are both actively searching for our next homes. We are even sharing finds with each other. I am leaning toward a smaller-sized apartment, at least for a year or so, so I can save a little more money in the near time. She is looking for something larger (and more expensive) because when our girls come home from college (summers, Christmas, etc.), they will most likely stay with her so she needs extra space. That is precisely why my proposal includes a little more money for her in the bottom line (not alimony, just the way we are splitting debt), but there is not a lot available that works in our area... yet. We are still early in the search process, so no real concern yet, but something to be careful of. We have also floated an idea similar to what mirrororchid and northstarmom suggested. That is, we finalize the divorce, but cohabitate for maybe the first year as we get a better handle on living financially separate, and sharing rent and utilities to free up extra cash for savings and emergencies - true roommates.
I know this is not necessarily unusual, but it is not ideal. I immediately set certain parameters: I would only consider it if it were a large enough place to have a separate finished basement apartment, or at least enough separation to offer a fair bit of privacy. Even if she does not want to explore new relationships, I most certainly do. Don't want to bring someone home to find my ex-wife sitting on the couch (yeah, I know.. only go back to her place, communicate with stbx to make sure she is out of sight, etc. - just thinking out loud). I actually found a house that would fit nicely, but it is move-in ready now, and we can't move until at least May, so it will likely be taken by then. Neither one of us are really keen on this idea (she is really warming to the idea of living alone for the first time ever in her life.), but it is something that we should at least keep under consideration for a short-term arrangement.
She finally admitted, for the first time EVER, that she no longer loves me romantically. She has no desire for sex and does not foresee herself dating in the near future. Perhaps part of that is putting on a brave face, but I believe her. I have mentioned in previous posts that I thought that would be the case when/if we ever divorced. Her hero is one of her female family members, older than us by about 20 years. She has been alone for at least 15 years, never a date, never a relationship, nothing other than a close network of other female friends and volunteer work (she is retired), and visiting family around the country. I admire her as well; she is the happiest, most well adjusted person we know - and no romantic entanglements whatsoever. That is what I picture for my stbx.
We only came close to a real fight on one occasion, and it was my fault as I pushed just a little too hard. After she made this admission, I asked her if she could pinpoint the moment she started to feel this way, and why, because I could (and she knew what I meant). She said she just stopped feeling "the connection" for me.
So I basically said, "Do you think we lost that connection when we stopped having sex?"
She replied, "No, I stopped wanting sex after losing the connection," maybe implying that I was at fault?.
We looked at each other for a long moment, and then she says, "I guess it's a chicken or egg thing."
The last thing I said was, "Yeah, nothing like perception," and we left it at that.
Onward...
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Post by baza on Feb 10, 2022 0:06:38 GMT -5
Brother allworkandnoplay . I think you will find that dealing with these issues about who gets what and who lives where etc etc will turn out to be manageable problems. Not "fun" problems for sure, but manageable. And they are way better problems to have than the intractable unresolvable problems of living in an ILIASM situation. Congratulations (to both of you) on your progress. |
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Post by allworkandnoplay on Apr 3, 2022 3:20:52 GMT -5
Update...
I have not been on much lately; just a lot going on. We have finalized the separation agreement and settled with my lawyer. Everything is moving forward. My state has a 31-day waiting (or cooling off) period before a judge will sign off. During this time, my lawyer is getting all of the official paperwork drafted regarding the separation agreement, etc. The lawyer will submit the papers electronically at around the 31-day mark for the judge to sign. We never have to actually go to court. The judge-signed papers will be sent to us electronically for us to put our final signatures and then we are done. The lawyer suggests 40 days before we get everything back. This will put us sometime around the beginning of May to be finalized. I really wish I could put a "T-Minus" countdown like shamwow, but I will take what I can get.
This coming week we have appointments to take care of splitting our bank accounts, refinancing a couple of joint loan accounts, and splitting a few other financial pieces (car insurance, cell phone plan, etc.). Our remaining accounts require the divorce decree, so they will wait until then.
We have each signed leases on new apartments. We did wait a month or so before hiring the lawyer until we settled on living arrangements. That was the last financial piece we needed to be able to hand over a completed settlement agreement (we had to answer what living arrangements would be in the official court filing). It was an interesting process. We each looked separately for places based on what we perceived our needs would be and given the budget we would be left with. We kept a shared spreadsheet that we would add to, and we were frequently sending each other listings for the other to consider. We drove for hours (sometimes with one of our daughters) visiting potential properties together. Ultimately, we decided to each get a separate apartment in the same complex (she is literally on one side of the property and I am on the other). We had agreed to keep under consideration being close to each other for this first year or so, but we had also agreed that it should not necessarily be a deciding factor. Well, it just so happened that we each arrived at this apartment complex semi-independent of each other. It was the best option for me all around, but for her it was a less than she had wanted but really made the most sense. It makes things much easier for our daughters when they visit from college, as well as our shared dogs we are splitting up.
In my wildest dreams I never thought this is how things would turn out. I see this as a blessing and an answered prayer. There are so many horror stories, some even right here in this forum. I know that my situation is turning out to be a proverbial unicorn, but fear of what could happen kept me paralyzed for so long. I post all of this, not to gloat, but to show some of you that a good ending is possible.
1. Do your homework; I found everything I needed online, so it is out there.
2. Make your plan; I tend to be a little OCD, so my habit of trying to predict every possible outcome worked in my favor this time. If you can find court forms for your jurisdiction online, use them to practice. Make sure to mock up a new budget to have an idea of what your financial outlook will be. If your spouse is the one that typically handles financial matters, make sure you have them show you everything and give you access to everything. (If you are not yet ready to tip your hat, tell them you need to know everything "just in case something happens to you.") Spreadsheets were immensely helpful for organization.
I was financially stuck for years, and I knew it because of my homework. I worked on this exit plan, literally for years. This is not an overnight project, but I certainly hope it does not take you years.
3. See a lawyer and verify that the information you have is correct, and adjust your plan if necessary (mine was a phone consultation). I spoke with three different lawyers. Doing steps 1 and 2 first made the lawyer consultations much more productive. I knew exactly what questions to ask and what to focus on.
4. Then, have "The Talk". As with the lawyer, this conversation was much more productive. I could answer every question she had, and at the same time she knew I meant business. It was at this point that everything turned in my favor because she was receptive, but even an antagonistic spouse could be managed with enough knowledge and preparation.
I want to thank everyone who has given me advice in the past. It was not always easy to hear, but worth it in the end.
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Post by lightbeam3076 on Apr 3, 2022 15:55:16 GMT -5
25 years with someone you met at college is a lifetime. Like spiders in the same web of life. Your fears are valid- who are you without her? What do you like? Who are your friends? What are your interests? Who can you talk to about it all?
I think many would call such a relationship highly co-dependent?
I would suggest getting a therapist you can talk to during the separation- they can be your 'anchor' and someone to lean on as you go through the process.
Good luck.
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Post by mirrororchid on Apr 4, 2022 6:01:45 GMT -5
We each looked separately for places based on what we perceived our needs would be and given the budget we would be left with. We kept a shared spreadsheet that we would add to, and we were frequently sending each other listings for the other to consider. We drove for hours (sometimes with one of our daughters) visiting potential properties together. Ultimately, we decided to each get a separate apartment in the same complex (she is literally on one side of the property and I am on the other). Please check in sometimes to tell us how this close proximity thing works out. I've always felt this would be a winning plan for divorced parents who are cordial. |
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Post by shamwow on Apr 13, 2022 16:39:44 GMT -5
We each looked separately for places based on what we perceived our needs would be and given the budget we would be left with. We kept a shared spreadsheet that we would add to, and we were frequently sending each other listings for the other to consider. We drove for hours (sometimes with one of our daughters) visiting potential properties together. Ultimately, we decided to each get a separate apartment in the same complex (she is literally on one side of the property and I am on the other). Please check in sometimes to tell us how this close proximity thing works out. I've always felt this would be a winning plan for divorced parents who are cordial. I dunno... I moved into the same neighborhood after my divorce primarily for the sake of the kids schools. Things were cordial until she got the check but by then it was too late to adjust. Luckily I was forced to move the next year and am way happier not to bump into her at the grocery store and such. Now I am getting the youngest ready for college there really is no need to even communicate with the ex. A very happy state of affairs, indeed... |
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Post by shamwow on Apr 13, 2022 16:43:40 GMT -5
Update...
I have not been on much lately; just a lot going on. We have finalized the separation agreement and settled with my lawyer. Everything is moving forward. My state has a 31-day waiting (or cooling off) period before a judge will sign off. During this time, my lawyer is getting all of the official paperwork drafted regarding the separation agreement, etc. The lawyer will submit the papers electronically at around the 31-day mark for the judge to sign. We never have to actually go to court. The judge-signed papers will be sent to us electronically for us to put our final signatures and then we are done. The lawyer suggests 40 days before we get everything back. This will put us sometime around the beginning of May to be finalized. I really wish I could put a "T-Minus" countdown like shamwow, but I will take what I can get.
This coming week we have appointments to take care of splitting our bank accounts, refinancing a couple of joint loan accounts, and splitting a few other financial pieces (car insurance, cell phone plan, etc.). Our remaining accounts require the divorce decree, so they will wait until then.
We have each signed leases on new apartments. We did wait a month or so before hiring the lawyer until we settled on living arrangements. That was the last financial piece we needed to be able to hand over a completed settlement agreement (we had to answer what living arrangements would be in the official court filing). It was an interesting process. We each looked separately for places based on what we perceived our needs would be and given the budget we would be left with. We kept a shared spreadsheet that we would add to, and we were frequently sending each other listings for the other to consider. We drove for hours (sometimes with one of our daughters) visiting potential properties together. Ultimately, we decided to each get a separate apartment in the same complex (she is literally on one side of the property and I am on the other). We had agreed to keep under consideration being close to each other for this first year or so, but we had also agreed that it should not necessarily be a deciding factor. Well, it just so happened that we each arrived at this apartment complex semi-independent of each other. It was the best option for me all around, but for her it was a less than she had wanted but really made the most sense. It makes things much easier for our daughters when they visit from college, as well as our shared dogs we are splitting up.
In my wildest dreams I never thought this is how things would turn out. I see this as a blessing and an answered prayer. There are so many horror stories, some even right here in this forum. I know that my situation is turning out to be a proverbial unicorn, but fear of what could happen kept me paralyzed for so long. I post all of this, not to gloat, but to show some of you that a good ending is possible.
1. Do your homework; I found everything I needed online, so it is out there.
2. Make your plan; I tend to be a little OCD, so my habit of trying to predict every possible outcome worked in my favor this time. If you can find court forms for your jurisdiction online, use them to practice. Make sure to mock up a new budget to have an idea of what your financial outlook will be. If your spouse is the one that typically handles financial matters, make sure you have them show you everything and give you access to everything. (If you are not yet ready to tip your hat, tell them you need to know everything "just in case something happens to you.") Spreadsheets were immensely helpful for organization.
I was financially stuck for years, and I knew it because of my homework. I worked on this exit plan, literally for years. This is not an overnight project, but I certainly hope it does not take you years.
3. See a lawyer and verify that the information you have is correct, and adjust your plan if necessary (mine was a phone consultation). I spoke with three different lawyers. Doing steps 1 and 2 first made the lawyer consultations much more productive. I knew exactly what questions to ask and what to focus on.
4. Then, have "The Talk". As with the lawyer, this conversation was much more productive. I could answer every question she had, and at the same time she knew I meant business. It was at this point that everything turned in my favor because she was receptive, but even an antagonistic spouse could be managed with enough knowledge and preparation.
I want to thank everyone who has given me advice in the past. It was not always easy to hear, but worth it in the end.
The real adventure starts when it is no longer T-minus, but T-plus. Today is T-Plus 1,734 and it's been a hell of an awesome ride. |
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Post by nyartgal on May 2, 2022 9:26:47 GMT -5
When I was leaving my SM (almost ten years ago now), I was making good money for the first time in my life, but it was a huge risk as an artist to leave a husband who at least had good earning power (he worked in tech), his parents were multi millionaires and I knew we would always have them as security if needed (though I refused to take their money).
I left and almost immediately fell in love with a penniless jazz pianist from Spain, 11 years younger than me, who was working off the books as a waiter because at the time he didn’t have a work visa. Within 18 months we had our first child, and for many years we were broke ass BROKE. We racked up a bunch of debt and it was extremely scary and felt pretty hopeless at many times.
Eventually, he got a good job as a music teacher, we got some help from my family to tide us over, and my art career stabilized despite having two small kids and lots of rollercoasters. I feel now we are finally on the road to paying off the debt and ongoing financial stability. His career is really taking off and now that the kids are a little older, and the worst of Covid is hopefully over, I feel like I can focus on mine more than I have been able to in many years.
Is it easy to be a sculptor/jazz musician couple with two kids in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? Hahaha NO! Would I trade all of the financial anxiety to go back to the relative stability of my SM? Not in a billion years!!
Money is not everything...and I don’t think money is holding you back right now. You have a plan and you just need to start executing the final phases. My story here is really for other readers who may not have a plan, or as much earning power, or more debt etc than you do. You can still leave and find happiness!!
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 2, 2022 10:51:16 GMT -5
Your kids are tremendously fortunate to have such creative parents. All the best! When I was leaving my SM (almost ten years ago now), I was making good money for the first time in my life, but it was a huge risk as an artist to leave a husband who at least had good earning power (he worked in tech), his parents were multi millionaires and I knew we would always have them as security if needed (though I refused to take their money). I left and almost immediately fell in love with a penniless jazz pianist from Spain, 11 years younger than me, who was working off the books as a waiter because at the time he didn’t have a work visa. Within 18 months we had our first child, and for many years we were broke ass BROKE. We racked up a bunch of debt and it was extremely scary and felt pretty hopeless at many times. Eventually, he got a good job as a music teacher, we got some help from my family to tide us over, and my art career stabilized despite having two small kids and lots of rollercoasters. I feel now we are finally on the road to paying off the debt and ongoing financial stability. His career is really taking off and now that the kids are a little older, and the worst of Covid is hopefully over, I feel like I can focus on mine more than I have been able to in many years. Is it easy to be a sculptor/jazz musician couple with two kids in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? Hahaha NO! Would I trade all of the financial anxiety to go back to the relative stability of my SM? Not in a billion years!! Money is not everything...and I don’t think money is holding you back right now. You have a plan and you just need to start executing the final phases. My story here is really for other readers who may not have a plan, or as much earning power, or more debt etc than you do. You can still leave and find happiness!! |
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