Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2019 16:44:31 GMT -5
I've been examining this carefully lately. Not the surface reasons but the real core.
The reason I stay is that I don't think I'll find someone again. There, I said it. How about the rest of you? The one-short-sentence reason that you stay.
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Aug 13, 2019 17:20:33 GMT -5
Sorry to disappoint tooyoungtobeold, but I just couldn't stay. I needed intimacy. I felt in my heart of hearts that I would find ladies in my age demographic interested in sex. I'm not a prophet but that is exactly what has happened.
|
|
|
|
Post by workingonit on Aug 13, 2019 17:43:18 GMT -5
Fear of being alone forever. (Includes a fear of putting myself out there again. Dating sounds like hell. But I LIKE being married and having my person and I am a die hard romantic at heart. Ugh. Dating)
Fear of failing at marriage.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Aug 13, 2019 19:26:27 GMT -5
Rear view mirror here (Been out since October 2009) but back in the day -
I chose to stay because I saw it as being in my best short term interests to do so.
It avoided me having to deal with the whole unpleasant business and disruption that would have ensued had I chosen to leave.
Taking the short term view was 'easier' than taking the longer term view of what was in my best interests .... so unsurprisingly, I took what I saw as the 'easier' option at that time. I stayed.
|
|
|
|
Post by misssunnybunny on Aug 13, 2019 20:03:19 GMT -5
I stayed out of fear (living on my own, financially responsible for everything, never finding someone else)
I've discovered the stresses of being on my own are less than the stresses of dealing with the SM.
|
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Aug 14, 2019 3:18:35 GMT -5
Fear of living in a bedsit, eating junk food. Like a student but without the future.
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Aug 14, 2019 4:06:56 GMT -5
Fear of living in a bedsit, eating junk food. Like a student but without the future. What else are students renowned for? Lots and lots of sex, oh and being gratuitously happy about it of course. |
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Aug 14, 2019 7:27:36 GMT -5
Lessingham said: “Fear of living in a bedsit, eating junk food. Like a student but without the future.”
What will happen if your wife predeceases you? If you become chronically ill, your wife has told you she’ll dump you in a facility.
If you leave your wife, it will be your choice about whether you hole up like a hermit. And, as someone pointed out, students may be impoverished but live active lives that typically include fun and sex.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2019 9:53:39 GMT -5
I have worked in higher education since 2005. There are many things I admire about the way College students live (minus the sloppiness). They have less junk in their lives, spend lots of time with friends or doing activities to make friends, explore new things, learn, etc. Being around them keeps me young and reminded that the best things are the simplest things.
|
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Aug 14, 2019 10:47:32 GMT -5
When I went to university in the 70s I took one suitcase. When my son went in the 90s he filled my car and when he left he needed two trips. And he was not the
worst kid on the campus!
The question was what we fear. I have enough to make sure it won't happen. But the fear is the thing I walk away from. I have many post wife ambitions and dreams.
|
|
|
|
Post by mescaline on Aug 14, 2019 15:26:44 GMT -5
Fear of not being a daily part in my kids lives as they grow up.
Guilt of leaving my sick wife.
Thats about it really, I don't fear being alone and poor. Been there done that, it wasn't so bad!
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Aug 14, 2019 15:38:03 GMT -5
Reflecting back before I exited my deal the factor which kept me there for so long was the fear of potential harm I would cause to the people I love by splitting our little family. Mainly this was my children but H too, I worried about destroying him and us becoming enemies.
In reality none of this has happened. Or anything close to it. I wish I had known that it wasn’t as bad as I had feared.
|
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Aug 14, 2019 16:34:30 GMT -5
At the core... because it’s my fault. All the signs were there at the start; I was ignorant and pushed things forward anyway. To W’s credit, her behavior has been the same since we met.
I stuck with my decision for many reasons and kept digging the hole deeper. And the reasons to stay increased.
|
|
|
|
Post by dallasgia on Aug 16, 2019 19:07:05 GMT -5
Kids & fear.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2019 19:21:57 GMT -5
Fear of living in a bedsit, eating junk food. Like a student but without the future. I would have ice cream for dinner if I lived alone. |
|
