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Post by Caris on Sept 8, 2017 18:24:11 GMT -5
I wonder if I'm the only person on the dating site that puts my real age, or tells the truth about myself.
My first "telephone" date's profile stated he was 4-years younger than my age. I found out, weeks later, that he's 3-years older than I am. Another guy I spoke with on the site, said he's 58, now it's changed to 56. I see men who say they are in their 50s, and they look 10-years older than me.
Another thing I don't get is they say, on their profile, they want to date, but also want friends, so when I offer friendship and not dating, they don't respond, or if they do, they are chatting me up. If they don't want female friends, why say that they do?
They also say, "I'm a handsome guy," and I think, "no, you are not!" If they can't be honest about their age (and I'd say these were the best guys from what I've seen so far), what else are they lying about?
It seems lying (or stretching the truth) is par for the course on dating sites. I'm sure women do it too, but I'm only seeing it from my side of the fence. It's annoying. Why can't they just be honest? They may actually find a decent person with the truth.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 8, 2017 19:26:40 GMT -5
They are insecure about their value to women. They have drank the kool-aid about only young, athletic and rich men get to date attractive women.
The big problem is that the truth will surface and there will be repercussions.
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 8, 2017 20:14:02 GMT -5
Yeah I have found that on the dating sites most of the men really only wanted sex. They would say they want a relationship with a connection but the truth comes out and they want a fwb relationship and they want to connect alright.
It really is tough to find someone on the same page on the dating apps
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 8, 2017 20:51:30 GMT -5
Yeah I have found that on the dating sites most of the men really only wanted sex. They would say they want a relationship with a connection but the truth comes out and they want a fwb relationship and they want to connect alright. It really is tough to find someone on the same page on the dating apps You make it sound like a guy who did go on there looking for a relationship would either be extremely lonely or hit a gold mine! It makes me wonder what kind of women are on there too. I also have much to learn. Isn't a relationship with a connection, the same as a fwb relationship? Then there's people like us, who are enduring or escaping a SM. Aren't we avoiding another relationship only? (I know you understand much of this, but that short version answer is.....well, mis- leading? |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 8, 2017 21:09:07 GMT -5
"They also say, "I'm a handsome guy," and I think, "no, you are not"
Even if he were handsome, his saying so would sound presumtuous as it's up to prospective dates to determine that.
The men I connected with had been honest. I also googled them. I live in a small area in which info is easily verified.
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 8, 2017 21:17:00 GMT -5
Yeah I have found that on the dating sites most of the men really only wanted sex. They would say they want a relationship with a connection but the truth comes out and they want a fwb relationship and they want to connect alright. It really is tough to find someone on the same page on the dating apps You make it sound like a guy who did go on there looking for a relationship would either be extremely lonely or hit a gold mine! It makes me wonder what kind of women are on there too. I also have much to learn. Isn't a relationship with a connection, the same as a fwb relationship? Then there's people like us, who are enduring or escaping a SM. Aren't we avoiding another relationship only? (I know you understand much of this, but that short version answer is.....well, mis- leading? The women on there are liars too. Some of the men have told me crazy stories. It's not to say there aren't nice honest people too and I have met a few nice men but for one reason or another we were not compatible. As far as fwb and a connection - there can be a connection with that but by fwb I guess I mean the men just want a hookup and no courting, and when I give this example I'm referring to the men who lie about what they are looking for just to get women in bed. |
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Post by obobfla on Sept 8, 2017 21:29:55 GMT -5
So, if I put into the dating service "50 something overweight bearded man seeks fairly attractive woman for sexual partner. Let's try one night together and see if we click," I will get lots of responses, right?
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 8, 2017 21:58:10 GMT -5
I wonder if I'm the only person on the dating site that puts my real age, or tells the truth about myself. My first "telephone" date's profile stated he was 4-years younger than my age. I found out, weeks later, that he's 3-years older than I am. Another guy I spoke with on the site, said he's 58, now it's changed to 56. I see men who say they are in their 50s, and they look 10-years older than me. Another thing I don't get is they say, on their profile, they want to date, but also want friends, so when I offer friendship and not dating, they don't respond, or if they do, they are chatting me up. If they don't want female friends, why say that they do? They also say, "I'm a handsome guy," and I think, "no, you are not!" If they can't be honest about their age (and I'd say these were the best guys from what I've seen so far), what else are they lying about? It seems lying (or stretching the truth) is par for the course on dating sites. I'm sure women do it too, but I'm only seeing it from my side of the fence. It's annoying. Why can't they just be honest? They may actually find a decent person with the truth. Maybe -I say maybe, because I have a lot to learn- maybe an honest person, secure in themselves, would do much better meeting people face to face? Not as easy to disguise things? (how attractive or old you are, what your manners and behavior is like, how you treat others, how shy or self absorbed you are, etc...) I know I want to force myself to get out there more after the divorce. |
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 8, 2017 22:10:04 GMT -5
"I have never seen a bad resume."
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Post by Caris on Sept 8, 2017 22:48:38 GMT -5
So, if I put into the dating service "50 something overweight bearded man seeks fairly attractive woman for sexual partner. Let's try one night together and see if we click," I will get lots of responses, right? Maybe on Tinder for that, although I don't know for sure, as I've never used it, but I've heard it's more for hook ups. |
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Post by Caris on Sept 8, 2017 22:50:22 GMT -5
"I have never seen a bad resume." But was it an honest resume? |
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Post by baza on Sept 9, 2017 0:00:52 GMT -5
You can't mandate honesty in other people.
You can set your own standard of honesty / dishonesty as you choose.
What anyone else does is a matter over which you have no control over whatsoever. . . though you can choose whether you wish to associate with people who's idea of honesty / dishonesty is at odds with yours.
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 9, 2017 1:55:43 GMT -5
But was it an honest resume? No... resumes are generally assumed to be "overly generous", to put it politely. People generally market themselves only in the best light, whether through simple omission, over-stating, or outright deception - at a minimum, all of the good and none of the bad. A lot about being a hiring manager is figuring out how much depth there is to the claims. Not unlike wading through dating site profiles, I imagine. |
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Post by dinnaken on Sept 9, 2017 8:43:46 GMT -5
Honesty yep Thanks for this thread Caris I was mulling over this issue earlier this week. It's been so long since I lived honestly - lying to my wife, lying to myself, lying to my friends/family/work colleagues etc. - with regards to my marriage, that I've realised two things: 1. It's great to be able to tell the truth and live honestly - it is so refreshing. In fact it's one of the best things about living separate from my wife. Forget about sex, right now the possibility of that is remote (indeed may never happen) but being able to be honest about my circumstances and to live life accordingly is wonderful. 2. I have to learn to tell the truth, to use this new found freedom. It's like exercise - painful at first but it gets easier. So, just in case any of you ladies are interested - I'm 59, six foot tall, overweight, bearded and bald. All my own teeth and I'm solvent. Ah... it feels good just saying it. I suppose I should add that based on feedback for the last 25+ years, I'm probably really bad in bed... You know, this could get addictive! |
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Post by Caris on Sept 9, 2017 12:07:02 GMT -5
Honesty yep Thanks for this thread Caris I was mulling over this issue earlier this week. It's been so long since I lived honestly - lying to my wife, lying to myself, lying to my friends/family/work colleagues etc. - with regards to my marriage, that I've realised two things: 1. It's great to be able to tell the truth and live honestly - it is so refreshing. In fact it's one of the best things about living separate from my wife. Forget about sex, right now the possibility of that is remote (indeed may never happen) but being able to be honest about my circumstances and to live life accordingly is wonderful. 2. I have to learn to tell the truth, to use this new found freedom. It's like exercise - painful at first but it gets easier. So, just in case any of you ladies are interested - I'm 59, six foot tall, overweight, bearded and bald. All my own teeth and I'm solvent. Ah... it feels good just saying it. I suppose I should add that based on feedback for the last 25+ years, I'm probably really bad in bed... You know, this could get addictive! Hahaha, I love this! 😊 I was the same. I didn't tell lies, but my life was a lie. I pretended to outsiders that all was well. Over the decades, I only shared with about 3-4 people. None were family. It took years to share with one. |
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