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Post by tirefire on Sept 4, 2017 8:13:00 GMT -5
Just introducing myself. I've benefited a lot just by lurking for the last few months. I get a surge of positive energy when I read about so many of you who started over in their 50s or later and ended up with someone who wants sex as much as they do. Looking at you northstar mom :-) I'll apologize but I'm pleasantly shocked to read about women older than 50 wanting sex many times per week. With the W marginally interested 5 or 6 times per year it is like hearing about some fabled land. I think her motivator is actually because she feels like she should be, not because she really wants to. Kind of like knowing you should set everything up at Thanksgiving and do all that preparation because you are supposed to, even though you would never do that on some random Wednesday evening. Does that make sense?
I recently hit the big 5-0. I feel like I have the sex drive I had at 16. I definitely had more sex at 16 than in over two decades of marriage. A year and a half ago I started going to the gym and I've never looked this good before. I still do double takes when I see my shape in the mirror. 48 years of scrawny will do that. It is tough going to the gym, seeing fit couples of various ages there and imagining them going home to have sex. I hear a little voice saying "lucky bastard" when I see a woman clearly enjoying her partner's arms or shoulders. I thought getting in shape would cause the W to want to touch some muscle. :-(
There is too much to write right now but I just wanted to say how awesome and supportive this group is. I've never seen an online community so non-judgemental. I'll start contributing more and leeching less. Happy labour day, folks.
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 4, 2017 8:24:04 GMT -5
Welcome to the club nobody wants to be in but you are very fortunate to have found this forum. The people here are the best and they understand.
Focus on yourself. The gym is a great outlet and figure out what you want to make your life a happy one.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 4, 2017 9:13:39 GMT -5
I'll apologize but I'm pleasantly shocked to read about women older than 50 wanting sex many times per week. As is often the case when dealing with stereotypes of people, what you read or hear ain't necessarily so. It is true that as we age both sexes usually undergo a decrease of hormones, especially the ones that drive our libidos. But as someone nearing 70 and recently divorced and dating again, I can state there are women over age 50 with very active sex lives. I have been fortunate having found a couple of them since reentering the dating pool. My current partner at age 65 has a much higher libido than me. Now I understand how women feel when they talk about men as always trying to get their pants off. Most women your age will greatly appreciate a man that takes care of himself. If you bring a few other assets to the table, like a good sense of humor, a generous nature, an appreciation for others peoples ideas, opinions and values, a health approach to sexuality, and an honest appraisal of what you are looking for and the expectations you have for future relationships, you will almost certainly find women in your age bracket that will appreciate those attributes and be eager to take you to their buxom, and other places. |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 4, 2017 9:32:50 GMT -5
Tirefire, I relate in that I didn't know older women were still interested in and having sex until I started talking about sex with my friends. I was in my 50s then and had avoided such talk for decades due to my own dearth of sex.
When I started talking again about that subject I was about 58 and learned that women friends who were in their late 60s and even one who was 81 were having sex, great sex with men who adored them. The women were ordinary women, nice looking but not movie stars, not women who were gym rats.
When I told them about my plight,they reassured me that I was normal and also looked fine, not repulsive, but my husband clearly had problems and was a problrm. That eventually led to my having the confidence to divorce.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Sept 4, 2017 10:24:22 GMT -5
Welcome tirefire - this is an excellent resource. The forum is filled with genuine people who do understand. Keep reading & keep posting. Both can be very beneficial. Thanks for introducing & sharing. |
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107 days
Sept 4, 2017 14:13:09 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by rejected101 on Sept 4, 2017 14:13:09 GMT -5
Just introducing myself. I've benefited a lot just by lurking for the last few months. I get a surge of positive energy when I read about so many of you who started over in their 50s or later and ended up with someone who wants sex as much as they do. Looking at you northstar mom :-) I'll apologize but I'm pleasantly shocked to read about women older than 50 wanting sex many times per week. With the W marginally interested 5 or 6 times per year it is like hearing about some fabled land. I think her motivator is actually because she feels like she should be, not because she really wants to. Kind of like knowing you should set everything up at Thanksgiving and do all that preparation because you are supposed to, even though you would never do that on some random Wednesday evening. Does that make sense? I recently hit the big 5-0. I feel like I have the sex drive I had at 16. I definitely had more sex at 16 than in over two decades of marriage. A year and a half ago I started going to the gym and I've never looked this good before. I still do double takes when I see my shape in the mirror. 48 years of scrawny will do that. It is tough going to the gym, seeing fit couples of various ages there and imagining them going home to have sex. I hear a little voice saying "lucky bastard" when I see a woman clearly enjoying her partner's arms or shoulders. I thought getting in shape would cause the W to want to touch some muscle. :-( There is too much to write right now but I just wanted to say how awesome and supportive this group is. I've never seen an online community so non-judgemental. I'll start contributing more and leeching less. Happy labour day, folks. Welcome! Vent as much as you need, share as much as you are comfortable with. You will not be judged and may find some inner peace! |
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107 days
Sept 4, 2017 14:34:10 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by solitarysoul on Sept 4, 2017 14:34:10 GMT -5
Yes those women do exist.... No doubt about it....but for ever one, there are ten men who want to get in her pants too....numbers do not favor the men.....
And while searching, expect to be called a pervert a few times....
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Post by GeekGoddess on Sept 4, 2017 16:30:40 GMT -5
Yes those women do exist.... No doubt about it....but for ever one, there are ten men who want to get in her pants too....numbers do not favor the men..... And while searching, expect to be called a pervert a few times.... Where are these 10 men? I keep looking. 👀 |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 4, 2017 16:49:17 GMT -5
Women as they age are in more abundance than are men. They also can have a harder time finding sexually able/willing men. Men tend to marry younger women. Women,in general,marry older men. Women also outlive men. Thus, in general, older women have a harder time finding good sex partners than do older men. I've heard that in nursing homes, men can pick their partners.
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Post by baza on Sept 4, 2017 18:19:20 GMT -5
Is the sex the only contentious issue in your deal Brother tirefire ? |
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107 days
Sept 4, 2017 18:28:01 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by solitarysoul on Sept 4, 2017 18:28:01 GMT -5
Yes those women do exist.... No doubt about it....but for ever one, there are ten men who want to get in her pants too....numbers do not favor the men..... And while searching, expect to be called a pervert a few times.... Allow me to clarify.... It's different whether you are 35 or 75... My grandparents lived together in assisted living. My grandfather, at 90, was very popular being one of the only men. When I was 35, every event for singles I went to was strongly male, a sausage fest... I can see it swinging as we age... Men get old, heart disease, worn down bodies,...we die much earlier... But when I was younger, I was clearly outnumbered by alpha male...then take away women who heard their biological clocks ticking at 35....and look out, really hard to make myself stand out in the crowd.... And there still is a large percentage of our population that loses their sexuality as they age....not all...but it is a group that grows each year they age .... |
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107 days
Sept 4, 2017 20:52:48 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by ironhamster on Sept 4, 2017 20:52:48 GMT -5
Welcome, tirefire, from another "fifty is the new thirty" kind of guy. Your story sounds painfully familar. I mean to say, "you are not alone." After three months of lurking, you know that, now. Your wife outpaced mine by 150% as far as spreading her legs for sex went. There have been some changes, and we are reverting back to the norm, but my bet is, just like with mine with my wife, your sex with your wife sucks compared to your old memories. |
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Post by tirefire on Sept 4, 2017 21:16:02 GMT -5
Is the sex the only contentious issue in your deal Brother tirefire ? Baza, as in many relationships of over 2 decades, there are many things going on. As life goes on, I'm becoming more and more easy going. Live and let live, lots of respect for other people. My wife is becoming more and more bitter and resentful of so much that is out of her control. She works in a male field so all the problems are because of the stupid men at work. She always spots the idiot dad that isn't tending to the small child properly. Bitter that the neighbors used pesticides without asking her first because allergies. So much bitterness. I'm trying to show the kids by example that there is a better way to live your life. Yah and there are teen kids. And an inability to resolve issues partly because we have to keep going over the past where we disagree about what happened in hundreds of little situations. And a 'communication' style that makes me avoid bringing things up so the kids can have a peaceful household when possible. And a disrespect for my opinion. She has facts, I have a wrong opinion, know what I mean? So in this context, plus much more I don't have time to write about, rarely she will intentionally have a couple of drinks so sex is a possibility. That is not great for my ego but at least she makes an effort. Oh, and the stars all have to be lined up. Children all out of the house, night time, at home... Does that provide context? :-) |
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Post by tirefire on Sept 4, 2017 21:37:57 GMT -5
 I'll apologize but I'm pleasantly shocked to read about women older than 50 wanting sex many times per week. Most women your age will greatly appreciate a man that takes care of himself. If you bring a few other assets to the table, like a good sense of humor, a generous nature, an appreciation for others peoples ideas, opinions and values, a health approach to sexuality, and an honest appraisal of what you are looking for and the expectations you have for future relationships, you will almost certainly find women in your age bracket that will appreciate those attributes and be eager to take you to their buxom, and other places. Worksforme2, you bring up a lot of good points. I was just kind of writing with a stream of consciousness and it happened to be about the gym and getting in shape. I've realized I can offer so much more and get more from life if I make a conscious effort to improve myself in other ways as well. I'm reaching out to old friends, trying to learn some new hobbies and really loving the time I spend with my kids. And I'm going to try reading books again. I've turned off the computer. |
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Post by baza on Sept 4, 2017 21:42:36 GMT -5
Yep Brother tirefire . That fleshes it out a bit, and points toward a pretty typical scenario as is often seen in here. |
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