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Post by northstarmom on Sept 23, 2017 12:04:15 GMT -5
Iron hamster,
One can't threaten a person who is sexually averse into providing mutually pleasurable sex.
Your telling her about the other couple could not spur her into wanting to have sex with you or enjoying sex with you. It also would not cause her to initiate even starfish. Your marital history had taught her that you won't leave her due to lack of sex.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Sept 23, 2017 12:22:56 GMT -5
Vacation sex is overated as it is usually reserved for new couples with no kids. Once married a vacation is just that a vacation from sex. Since my deal was not sexless from the beginning, I can refute that. Until the change in Mr. Kat, we did tend to particularly enjoy vacation sex. So, I was really upset when we got to a point of no vacation sex. Even on a rare trip to the Bahamas. For my birthday. Which I paid for. In the beginning, my ex and I had vacation sex. That slowly declined, and once he took on the mentality of "I'm sick and can't do anything about it" the sex stopped (he has anxiety, and couldn't bother with touching me in a sexual way after that mentality took over). I remember plenty of vacations, some to very romantic places, where we barely touched; we'd be in bed and all I wanted to do was reach over to try and initiate something. I didn't because I knew I'd be refused. Now I travel by myself and I sleep alone; no sex still, but no stress about it, either. |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 23, 2017 16:47:02 GMT -5
Vacations alone? Hell, yes.
My wife threw out a game changer. I am known for testing boundaries, and my wife does not like that. She floated the idea that she did not want me traveling with her when she is on business. Good. Agreed, and flipped around, too. I have my first solo vacation planned since before we started dating. I'm looking forward to it.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 23, 2017 20:03:43 GMT -5
Vacation sex is overated as it is usually reserved for new couples with no kids. Once married a vacation is just that a vacation from sex. Since my deal was not sexless from the beginning, I can refute that. Until the change in Mr. Kat, we did tend to particularly enjoy vacation sex. So, I was really upset when we got to a point of no vacation sex. Even on a rare trip to the Bahamas. For my birthday. Which I paid for. , I have to agree with @smartkat for those not in an SM vacation sex is epic. I had 30 years of great sex with the W and vacation sex was even better. The stories from those times would make for fantastic erotica. But now - nothing. Do I miss it? Hell yes! But I would gladly forgo any vacation sex for a robust nonvacation sex life. |
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Post by lansdman on Sept 27, 2017 17:43:35 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave.
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Post by tirefire on Sept 27, 2017 17:45:43 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. That's harsh. I feel for you brother but that might actually be better than chasing whys. |
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Post by takestwototango on Sept 27, 2017 17:57:31 GMT -5
My h and I have been on 3 camping trips for vacation in our short marriage (1 yr, 3 mo) and he refuses to have sex in our tent, even though we are usually far enough away for anyone to hear anything. But he jokes about going out into the woods and fooling around, as if that would ever happen!
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Post by h on Sept 27, 2017 19:20:47 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. If my W had been so blunt with me, I would have made up my mind to leave almost immediately. You should be thankful for her bluntness. |
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Post by brian on Sept 27, 2017 20:05:57 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. If my W had been so blunt with me, I would have made up my mind to leave almost immediately. You should be thankful for her bluntness. Yeah. Same here. That is a gift. It is a window into the rest of your life. She either needs to allow you to outsource (find another person to take care of things that she is unwilling/unable to do), or you need to leave... unless you're ok with celibacy for the long haul. |
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 28, 2017 0:45:57 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. Why on Earth have you stayed for 25 years knowing that? The only reason most of us stay is because we think it must be a lull, fixable, something we're doing wrong. |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 28, 2017 3:56:41 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. Why on Earth have you stayed for 25 years knowing that? The only reason most of us stay is because we think it must be a lull, fixable, something we're doing wrong. I've been in mine for about as long. Knowing what I know now, an admission like that would be the last nail in the coffin, but, a year ago at this time, I might have been in too much shock to realize the level of betrayal. |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 28, 2017 6:27:42 GMT -5
Vacation? Never happen maybe once in 25 years. Also lots talking about honeymoon I was 10 days married before I got laid and the frequency went down from there. Eventually she said yeah I lied about liking sex.... deal with it or leave. If she lied about liking sex then what else has she lied about? |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 28, 2017 6:40:15 GMT -5
My h and I have been on 3 camping trips for vacation in our short marriage (1 yr, 3 mo) and he refuses to have sex in our tent, even though we are usually far enough away for anyone to hear anything. But he jokes about going out into the woods and fooling around, as if that would ever happen! Fooling around in the woods is exciting, poison ivy on sensitive flesh is not so exciting. Sex in a tent is fun, when you try to be discreet but the next morning everyone looks at you with a smirk. Unfortunately takestwototango your H does not like fucking you and has an infinite supply of reasons to not fuck you (not unusual to members here). Wheather he wants to fuck someone or something else is irrelevant. What is relevant is how you want to live your life and if he will be part of it. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Sept 28, 2017 7:52:12 GMT -5
My h and I have been on 3 camping trips for vacation in our short marriage (1 yr, 3 mo) and he refuses to have sex in our tent, even though we are usually far enough away for anyone to hear anything. But he jokes about going out into the woods and fooling around, as if that would ever happen! Fooling around in the woods is exciting, poison ivy on sensitive flesh is not so exciting. Sex in a tent is fun, when you try to be discreet but the next morning everyone looks at you with a smirk. Unfortunately takestwototango your H does not like fucking you and has an infinite supply of reasons to not fuck you (not unusual to members here). Wheather he wants to fuck someone or something else is irrelevant. What is relevant is how you want to live your life and if he will be part of it. With an ex, I have fooled around in the woods, multiple times. It's really easy to do it she's wearing a skirt and a small blanket. But I would suggest making sure there is no poison ivy in the area. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 28, 2017 10:41:56 GMT -5
Ha ha. Been there done that. Got the tshirt. Good times. But it was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away! Sex in a tent is fun, when you try to be discreet but the next morning everyone looks at you with a smirk. |
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