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Post by celibatejoe on Aug 17, 2017 17:55:18 GMT -5
I always enjoyed getting my wife off, but I enjoy it for its own sake.
I'm no prize as a husband, at least to an outside observer, but we are very affectionate and warm with each other and keep it sweet.
If she wants out, or to cheat, that's up to her, not me.
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Post by lwoetin on Aug 18, 2017 5:53:51 GMT -5
I always enjoyed getting my wife off, but I enjoy it for its own sake. I'm no prize as a husband, at least to an outside observer, but we are very affectionate and warm with each other and keep it sweet. If she wants out, or to cheat, that's up to her, not me. if she cheats, would you leave her? By the way, I appreciate your opposing viewpoint, thanks for joining. It is very important for me to try to understand my wife's position and find a mutually happy solution. I hope you find something useful in this forum as well. |
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 18, 2017 6:38:45 GMT -5
"Love is a choice. Desire is not."
Neither love nor desire are choices. One can choose to be kind to another. Kindness is an action under your control. One can not choose an emotion to feel. One can choose to engage in sex with a person. One can not choose to feel lust for a person.
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Post by celibatejoe on Aug 18, 2017 9:11:15 GMT -5
if she cheats, would you leave her? I haven't thought about it. I don't think I would. One has to be really angry to divorce someone who doesn't want to be divorced. I'm angry about some things, but I can't be angry about the way she is, about the things she can't change. By the way, I appreciate your opposing viewpoint, thanks for joining. It is very important for me to try to understand my wife's position and find a mutually happy solution. I hope you find something useful in this forum as well. Well, I live in a sexless marriage, too, but it's not always a bad thing. |
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 18, 2017 11:04:16 GMT -5
I don't think one has to be really angry to divorce a person who doesn't want to divorce. One has to really want out of a relationship. Just because someone deeply loves you doesn't mean you have to stay with them. Your own desires deserve honoring.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 18, 2017 11:15:38 GMT -5
The word "LOVE" gets thrown around a lot. There are different kinds of love. (Eros, Storage, Phila, Agape) Different circumstances when we show love, and even different styles of love.(Romantic, Friendship, Game-playing, Needy,Practical, Altruistic)
You put different styles of love together and things will not work out.
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Post by celibatejoe on Aug 18, 2017 11:58:31 GMT -5
The word "LOVE" gets thrown around a lot. There are different kinds of love. (Eros, Storage, Phila, Agape) Different circumstances when we show love, and even different styles of love.(Romantic, Friendship, Game-playing, Needy,Practical, Altruistic) You put different styles of love together and things will not work out. Yes indeed. Loving doesn't matter. It's making sure the other person feels loved, that matters. I don't know what to say to a lady who can't feel loved without also feeling desired, particularly if she makes no effort to become or remain desirable. I have never had a commensurate need to feel desired in order to feel loved. I always figured women only wanted me for my other virtues, of which I have many. Then again, I have never felt love the way I have wanted to feel loved. I don't really know what asexuality is. I only know that, until recently, my purpose in life has been to please women, no matter what. It never even occurred to me what I wanted or needed in return. That is the power of a mother complex. |
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