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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 20, 2017 22:26:44 GMT -5
Ugh, that's a brutal reality check, Baza. Can any of y'all take it that much longer? I sure AF can't! The ability of the homosapien to endure is quite remarkable Sister laura I'd be betting that you CAN endure it. We could debate whether that is such a great idea to aspire to, but it is certainly achievable. I personally went for near enough to 3 decades - I guess I was the mrslowmaintenance of my era ! This may sounds absolutely rediculous BUT... The idea of another three decade with my H actually just made me smile. I really hope we are together another three decades! And another three after that!! |
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Post by baza on Jun 20, 2017 22:31:19 GMT -5
The ability of the homosapien to endure is quite remarkable Sister laura I'd be betting that you CAN endure it. We could debate whether that is such a great idea to aspire to, but it is certainly achievable. I personally went for near enough to 3 decades - I guess I was the mrslowmaintenance of my era ! This may sounds absolutely rediculous BUT... The idea of another three decade with my H actually just made me smile. I really hope we are together another three decades! And another three after that!! Your chances of getting through the next 30 years then are excellent Sister mrslowmaintenance . I can't say as I was anywhere near as enthusiastic as you when it was my turn in the blender. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 20, 2017 22:48:55 GMT -5
The ability of the homosapien to endure is quite remarkable Sister laura I'd be betting that you CAN endure it. We could debate whether that is such a great idea to aspire to, but it is certainly achievable. I personally went for near enough to 3 decades - I guess I was the mrslowmaintenance of my era ! This may sounds absolutely rediculous BUT... The idea of another three decade with my H actually just made me smile. I really hope we are together another three decades! And another three after that!! I'm glad you can see your self that far in the future with your H. I can't see that far with my W. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 20, 2017 23:09:08 GMT -5
Mid 30's here
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 20, 2017 23:14:00 GMT -5
I am 35
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Post by h on Jun 21, 2017 5:14:06 GMT -5
56 is the exact correct and definitive answer to the question of what age you should be to get out. You may wonder how I know the answer to this vexatious question. Well, that was the age I got out, so it must be right. itme - you got 18 years to go choosinghappy - 21 for you laura - you have 22 to serve @dan - 4 mrslowmaintenance - 3 decades ahead for you h - 24 years Addendums tiffanyc - approx 25 years hopingforachange - 21 to go To this point 8 responders, average 20.6 years to go. I will not be waiting 24 years. I've set my timetable for expected change. I have informed my W that things need to change. There's been a little change but not enough yet. I'm patient enough to allow for a gradual change to build but I'm not waiting forever either. I have not told her about my timetable to avoid her making a fake effort at the last minute. If the changes don't happen before the allotted time then I will start contacting lawyers. |
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Post by baza on Jun 21, 2017 5:41:54 GMT -5
Geez Brother h . You do realize that if you do that it will fuck my calculations right up, and possibly make them even more meaningless than they already are ?  |
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Post by h on Jun 21, 2017 7:29:38 GMT -5
Geez Brother h . You do realize that if you do that it will fuck my calculations right up, and possibly make them even more meaningless than they already are ? I've never been one to make impulsive decisions. I'm slow to react until I have all the facts but I'm also known by most of my friends and family as someone who sticks with decisions I have made. I guess I would describe it as patiently decisive. My father and I liked to build things when I was growing up and I learned the old saying "Measure twice, cut once." It is something I have always tried to apply to my life. Once you make a cut, you can't unsaw the board. Once you sever a relationship, there is no putting it back together. I know this from experience. I have a relative that I never speak to anymore. An argument happened a few years ago over something trivial that I tried to deescalate. I tried to talk calmly and reason with him but he crossed a line and made it personal with insults to my character and false accusations. My decision to cut him out of my life was not easy because he was an important part of my life all throughout my childhood but it was a final and unchangeable decision. It isn't spoken of around my other family members and I won't be the one to bring it up but he is dead to me. I may get brushed off as a "why chaser" but I don't see it the same way. My willingness to wait and observe is what I consider my strength. It's more about gaining information for rational decision making. Measure twice, cut once. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Jun 21, 2017 16:52:50 GMT -5
I am 33. I found EP when I was 24? but didn't sign up until I was 25. I felt like I woke up and realized the flood was up to my neck and was too overwhelmed to do anything about it.
But yes, not the youngest at all
I do not see my husband and I staying together for another 20 years. Honestly, I'm hoping in the next 10 years that we get a divorce or he dies hehe(truckdrivers? please?).
I've already been married for 14 years now. And my marriage started going downhill fairly early but I was too naive to see it for what it was.
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Post by Dan on Jun 21, 2017 19:47:15 GMT -5
56 is the exact correct and definitive answer to the question of what age you should be to get out. You may wonder how I know the answer to this vexatious question. Well, that was the age I got out, so it must be right. itme - you got 18 years to go choosinghappy - 21 for you laura - you have 22 to serve Dan - 4 mrslowmaintenance - 3 decades ahead for you h - 24 years Addendums tiffanyc - approx 25 years hopingforachange - 21 to go To this point 8 responders, average 20.6 years to go. Woohoo! I'm the next to go! I feel like I just caught the bride's bouquet at the wedding! Or, well, whatever the OPPOSITE of that is meaning "you're the next one to get divorced"....  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2017 19:58:04 GMT -5
I also would have only seen my kids every other weekend, This is exactly why I stay. The ONLY reason. I just can't live with this outcome. I would rather be stuck in SM land than to be an absentee father. I see no reason my taker/refuser would agree to any other custody deal. This is the deal her brother got and I'm sure she will demand the same standard. Only 7 more years. I will be 45 and still young enough. I can do this! Yes, it is a good reason. It would have been incredibly painful for me not to see my daughters on a regular basis. I was able to do it, but it was incredibly hard. |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 21, 2017 22:28:58 GMT -5
SM as now been compared to being in the Mob. Or Ikea. You can get out of Ikea, you just need to spend money to do so and there's not necessarily any emotional attachment. Or is there? These are the times I question how fucked up I really am. example: I zero'd in on the word "harder", and out of context before reading the rest of your post. Fuck I need to get laid.  They have a term for that... There's a lozenge that helps with this condition... |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Jun 22, 2017 3:19:30 GMT -5
Currently 42, but when I was 36 and first outsourced the 26 year old Thought I was late 20s maybe 30.... does lack of sex help a woman age gracefully? Maybr its good genes.
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meerin
Junior Member
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Post by meerin on Jun 22, 2017 4:40:10 GMT -5
I'm 33. I hung around EP for several years. I guess I am in the slow learner group.
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Post by JonDoe on Jun 22, 2017 5:48:41 GMT -5
I am 33. Still hoping it will get better. Hope is not a strategy. Hopefully you have a plan to make it better. |
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