|
|
Post by JMX on Jun 20, 2017 8:24:01 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2017 8:25:03 GMT -5
There's many benefits to keeping in shape. It's a good habit and can bring about a change in your life. I consider it one of the Keystone Habits in life. www.developgoodhabits.com/what-are-keystone-habits/Before I made a decision to move forward in my marriage, I begin taking much better care of my health. At first, I was considering outsourcing and staying married. I wanted to present the best me if I was going to outsource.. As time has progressed, I've developed many other positive habits. I've put the brakes on my marriage in a healthy manner. My life is moving forward. I attribute this to getting in shape and eating correctly. I found that I begin to have self respect again. Don't abuse your body. Take good care of yourself. It's the only place you have to live. |
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on Jun 20, 2017 8:37:21 GMT -5
Something makes me get a wee bit concerned the way you said this. One reading of what you are saying is: "I know I've put on weight. Any maybe this is the reason my husband has lost desire for me. So maybe I'm to blame. If I lost weight and were more desirable to him, maybe we'd have a sex life." OK. Maybe. But it is BIG maybe. Maybe if you did all that, he would still not desire you. Maybe he should still be desirous for you even if you are heavier than when he first met you. Maybe you'd feel more desirable if you had an affair, because finding someone who loves making love to you just as you are does WONDERS for the sexual confidence! So, sure. Lose some weight. After all, it is good for you. It will help your self-esteem. That will spread in to many facets of your life. But don't count on that as the formula for "getting him back". Don't do it for him. Do it for future you. And do it for whoever you will be with in the future... I spent the better part of the past 10 years thinking it was me. It did a great job of ripping down my self-confidence and leading me to depression which in turn led me to gain weight and feel worse about myself. I think I am turning the corner on that now. I still don't feel great about myself but I DO understand that the issue is with HIM and not ME. It took me a while to understand that. And that is why I phrased it as "it would be very interesting to see..." Because it truly would be interesting. But I do not really think it would make a difference. We have never had a good sex life. If he didn't desire me when I was more fit and attractive I'm about 99.99% sure he won't even if I lost the 25lbs I've gained since we've been married and slapped on some lipstick. But to be brutally honest (which is probably more than you bargained for when responding to my post), if I were to get back to feeling better about myself physically and felt sexually desirable again then I would no longer be able and willing to endure this SM. And I am not yet ready to face that so my defense mechanism is staying out of shape and therefore less focused on sex and more easily able to pretend I'm not as unhappy as I am. I do appreciate the thoughts/concern @dan . I am working on it. But I do not blame myself. As you come out of your depression, you should notice that men are still checking you out, even at your current weight. Certain parts of your body bounce and jiggle a little bit more and draw the eye. There are many men that are drawn to the post pregnancy woman's body. |
|
|
|
Post by choosinghappy on Jun 20, 2017 10:09:05 GMT -5
Thank you hopingforachange . I do get the occasional glances (and even a whistle a few months ago which may piss off some women but I'll take it!). I have been in a deep depression before (not due to my marriage but other issues) and thankfully that is not where I currently am. |
|
