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Post by thefullmoon on May 7, 2016 9:56:45 GMT -5
Oh, dear Carissimi,you remind me my oversensitive daughter so much...
Please, don't leave...people eventially will know you here and learn how to communicate better...
I wish you very good luck as I always do with my daughter for aĺl her new ventures..but I am always dreadful to hear the result....she notices and read too much into what other people say...and as a result she too often overlooks positive things.... it takes me a lot of time to talk her out of negative mindset and makes me very sad for her...no fun to be soo sensitive...(I started recently to research deeper in the situation and read books about oversensitive character,might be interesting for you too)
This group is very supportive...but many people are burnt themselves and even their jokes are maybe the result of their own deepsitted pain... my hugs to you....
Please, stay, you are a very special gentle star here.
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Post by Dan on May 7, 2016 11:23:37 GMT -5
I'm sorry if I ever sounded like I was not taking your problems seriously. Threadjacking is not a good thing to do, but we have all been guilty of it occasionally. I think an agoraphobia group might be very helpful for you. I still hope that you stay here; I like you and I want to keep up with how you are doing. Ditto this. I think there are folks here who care about you very much. Thread-hijacking just happens; it is not a slight against you. If a bunch a friends were in a room talking and one brought up something important to her, I'd bet the friends would listen and offer support. I'd also bet that eventually, someone would say something that would cause a third person turn the conversation a different way. That's just how things go; no harm intended. If you are turning amateur therapists (aka "friends and online acquaintances" as you have here) for therapy, I think that is how it is just going to go sometimes. If you need someone highly trained who will keep the conversation exclusively on you, perhaps you should consider professional talk therapy. Me: I rely on both, as well as quiet reflection and turning to spiritual teachings. I consider this a "balanced diet" of mental health support. I'd encourage everyone to find the balance of nutrients that make them a healthy as possible. I wish you the best; I encourage you to stay, or at least drop in on us from time to time. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:22:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry if I ever sounded like I was not taking your problems seriously. Threadjacking is not a good thing to do, but we have all been guilty of it occasionally. I think an agoraphobia group might be very helpful for you. I still hope that you stay here; I like you and I want to keep up with how you are doing. Ditto this. I think there are folks here who care about you very much. Thread-hijacking just happens; it is not a slight against you. If a bunch a friends were in a room talking and one brought up something important to her, I'd bet the friends would listen and offer support. I'd also bet that eventually, someone would say something that would cause a third person turn the conversation a different way. That's just how things go; no harm intended. If you are turning amateur therapists (aka "friends and online acquaintances" as you have here) for therapy, I think that is how it is just going to go sometimes. If you need someone highly trained who will keep the conversation exclusively on you, perhaps you should consider professional talk therapy. Me: I rely on both, as well as quiet reflection and turning to spiritual teachings. I consider this a "balanced diet" of mental health support. I'd encourage everyone to find the balance of nutrients that make them a healthy as possible. I wish you the best; I encourage you to stay, or at least drop in on us from time to time. You just don't get it, Dan. You never have. I'm not stupid you know. I know threads go off course, and I'm not looking for people here as therapists. You really can insult a person's intelligence. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:30:32 GMT -5
Oh, dear Carissimi,you remind me my oversensitive daughter so much... Please, don't leave...people eventially will know you here and learn how to communicate better... I wish you very good luck as I always do with my daughter for aĺl her new ventures..but I am always dreadful to hear the result....she notices and read too much into what other people say...and as a result she too often overlooks positive things.... it takes me a lot of time to talk her out of negative mindset and makes me very sad for her...no fun to be soo sensitive...(I started recently to research deeper in the situation and read books about oversensitive character,might be interesting for you too) This group is very supportive...but many people are burnt themselves and even their jokes are maybe the result of their own deepsitted pain... my hugs to you.... Please, stay, you are a very special gentle star here. Well let me give you another reason to call me over sensitive...putting it all on me is not helpful, encouraging, or supportive. I feel sorry for your daughter having such an insensitive mother. Maybe you should respect people's intelligence and stop talking down to them, or better still remain silent. You are no help to anyone. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:32:27 GMT -5
Jasiri, I hope you find the strength to go out tonight with your group of potential new friends. I know the feeling of being reluctant to socialize even with friends sometimes, let alone new people. I an still working up the nerve to join some new activities to meet new friends (at this point the groups I have in mind are all women's groups). Thank you, Helen. I knew you would understand. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:34:34 GMT -5
I'm sorry if I ever sounded like I was not taking your problems seriously. Threadjacking is not a good thing to do, but we have all been guilty of it occasionally. I think an agoraphobia group might be very helpful for you. I still hope that you stay here; I like you and I want to keep up with how you are doing. I've always felt supported by you, Kat. At least you acknowledged me on that particular post, but you know it's not about one post. Wish you all the best, Kat. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:36:23 GMT -5
I wish you lots of luck and I do hope you have fun going out. I can imagine how you are feeling about going out with a lot of people that you don't know. The fact that you are thinking about it shows that you are a very brave woman! Perhaps the best way to address our fears is to do things that we are not comfortable with. I can understand having anxiety, because I know I would be a mess under that circumstance. I sincerely wish you all the strength and the happiness in this new place of your life..... Best wishes always.... RR Thank you very much, Rum Runner. I truly appreciate your understanding. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:40:10 GMT -5
@jasiri, I don't know you well. In fact, until recently, I didn't know how to respond to you. But I have been learning by reading your posts -- learning about you, but also myself. Hope this isn't a thread hijack, but I often get to my point by demonstrating how I learned something, and then I'll bring it back to you: By reading your threads I realized that a strained relationship with my cousin, whom I donated a kidney to, and in the process became extremely close with her, is because she and I communicate differently. Like I mentioned above. I use stories and experience to process and/or articulate my position, while she just wants me to shut up and listen to her. You may be like my cousin, inasmuch that you seek to be heard and acknowledged. You don't want or need "advice." And so I've been seeing your words in a different light. And growing as a result -- which is unexpected, not at your expense, and I am grateful. In response, specifically to your post here: THANK YOU. I truly am grateful for you and your contributions. I wish you well. Whether or not you stay here, I hope your world begins to take shape the way you wish it to be, as you continue to look forward. I'm humbled by your words. Believe me, I understand explaining through your own experience...that is not thread jacking. Thank you for your good wishes. Be well. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:41:12 GMT -5
I think you are quite fantastic and I would miss you if you decided to no longer post here. I hope you are able to make some progress this evening. I hope it all happens just the way you hope it will. I also hope you'll come back and tell us about it (the good, the bad, the ugly) Thank you so much, BC. |
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 16:43:56 GMT -5
Isolating yourself from people is not a good idea so I hope you did go and take chances at meeting new people. But it is OK if you chose not to go at this time, you will have other opportunities. I have my own social anxieties and I go with what I have. You are a strong person and can get through this. It's a difficult situation to be in a new place with no friends but there are good people everywhere to get to know, so you should get to know them. Also, if you find another forum that helps you then join that. You don't have to leave this forum. Just post less often. But don't isolate yourself. Good luck. (I first met you in EP a while back and I believe you were the one with a Latin quote. I can't remember it though.) Amori et Dolori Sacrum: A shrine to love and sorrow. Thank you. |
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Post by thefullmoon on May 7, 2016 17:00:37 GMT -5
Well let me give you another reason to call me over sensitive...putting it all on me is not helpful, encouraging, or supportive. I feel sorry for your daughter having such an insensitive mother. Maybe you should respect people's intelligence and stop talking down to them, or better still remain silent. You are no help to anyone. Oversensitive is not an insult, but insensitive is...the last thing you need to do is feeling sorry for my daughter over having her mother...other people have feelings too and can be hurt as well..but I will remain silent as you(quite rudely) suggested... |
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Post by JMX on May 7, 2016 23:00:57 GMT -5
Oh, dear Carissimi,you remind me my oversensitive daughter so much... Please, don't leave...people eventially will know you here and learn how to communicate better... I wish you very good luck as I always do with my daughter for aĺl her new ventures..but I am always dreadful to hear the result....she notices and read too much into what other people say...and as a result she too often overlooks positive things.... it takes me a lot of time to talk her out of negative mindset and makes me very sad for her...no fun to be soo sensitive...(I started recently to research deeper in the situation and read books about oversensitive character,might be interesting for you too) This group is very supportive...but many people are burnt themselves and even their jokes are maybe the result of their own deepsitted pain... my hugs to you.... Please, stay, you are a very special gentle star here. Well let me give you another reason to call me over sensitive...putting it all on me is not helpful, encouraging, or supportive. I feel sorry for your daughter having such an insensitive mother. Maybe you should respect people's intelligence and stop talking down to them, or better still remain silent. You are no help to anyone. Okay. This is beyond the pale. She was trying to reach out to you. I would be excited for you to stay! I enjoy your posts (mostly): I get that you need support. Could you try and not be so nasty about it? And BTW - you do not get less support here than you did on EP. Plenty of people disagreed with you there too. Vocally. Different opinions are helpful in that they give you insight that not everyone you meet in real life will ever see things the way you see things. I would think your spiritual practices would help you see this? Introvert? Fine. Nasty and mean? Not fine. I am sure this will earn me a "block". Not sure if I welcome this or wish it was different, but you needed to see it. The world does not revolve around Carissimi. I wish you peace. |
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Post by unmatched on May 7, 2016 23:16:30 GMT -5
Carissimi, what JMX wrote is right. I know you are struggling but we are all struggling and what you wrote was mean to somebody who was trying to be helpful. It might not be what you were looking for but there was still a good intention and actually some useful advice and experience. |
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Post by lwoetin on May 8, 2016 5:21:33 GMT -5
Isolating yourself from people is not a good idea so I hope you did go and take chances at meeting new people. But it is OK if you chose not to go at this time, you will have other opportunities. I have my own social anxieties and I go with what I have. You are a strong person and can get through this. It's a difficult situation to be in a new place with no friends but there are good people everywhere to get to know, so you should get to know them. Also, if you find another forum that helps you then join that. You don't have to leave this forum. Just post less often. But don't isolate yourself. Good luck. (I first met you in EP a while back and I believe you were the one with a Latin quote. I can't remember it though.) Amori et Dolori Sacrum: A shrine to love and sorrow. Thank you. Yes, I love that quote. Applies to my marriage actually. My feelings about finding support in ILIASM is that the worst support is having no support. Hearing something that sounds unpleasant is not the worst. When I started out in EP, I had one friend. She was incredibly kind and listened to me. It was easy to open up to her. Which made me vulnerable to one (and last since I left EP for a period of time after that) of her comments when she suggested I "put my big boy pants on". She meant well. But it was not received well. Whether it was helpful or not, who knows. But I came back and we stayed friends afterwards. The really, truly bad, worst ever feeling is having no one care about you and that is my biggest fear every time I post a story...that no one replies and no one cares. So zero response is like absolute temperature, lifeless 0 Kelvin degrees and any additional energy is something to warm you up. We're here and you are not alone carisimmi. |
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 16:02:30 GMT -5
Car, you did NOT just go and abandon this forum.
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