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Post by shamwow on Jun 15, 2017 6:21:34 GMT -5
I have been pushing really hard for change. He has actually been responding and making some serious changes for himself and us. We have had more sex in the year 2017 than in the two previous years combined! (11 times, I know it's freaking crazy... Yet still not enough) So 12 days for me right now I'm in a similar situation. My recent pressure has resulted in more sex this year so far than in the last whole year (or any other single year including the first). I didn't keep track at first but since the middle of 2012, I have written down the date of every time we have sexual contact and what kind it was (PIV, HJ). The list isn't that long. I wish both of you guys luck. If you can pull it off, it is so much better than the alternatives. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 15, 2017 6:25:06 GMT -5
3 years on July 12, my wedding anniversary. Quite considerate of my wife to stick to an easy date to remember. Of course my divorce will be final June 26, maybe I can do something about the drought. Last time I had sex with my H was on our wedding anniversary in 2014. It puts closure to it and ties it up like a neat little bow. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 6:29:26 GMT -5
For me it was two days ago. But we'll wait and see how things play out.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 15, 2017 6:46:34 GMT -5
Tiffany, you are the refuser. Why do you keep saying, "we" will wait and see how things pan out? You have been the one refusing sex. If you asked for a quickie before your husband headed to work or if you yourself naked and say, "let's do it" or, you are such a stud," at bedtime, he'd likely eagerly comply and provide sex. Have you taken our advice and told him how much you enjoyed your last encounter and what made it pleasureable or are you still waiting for him to read your mind?
You continue to portray yourself as powerless when you have power to create a romantic and sexy marriage. Did you ever celebrate your anniversary or are you still waiting for your husband to do something even though he worked that day and you don't work at all? You could choose to initiate sex in a romantic way.
Do you ever initiate sex? Every sex -loving person enjoys being desired. Many of the refused here are not only tired of being refused, they are discouraged and depressed because their partner's don't initiate sex .
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 15, 2017 7:12:25 GMT -5
2/3 of a BJ Mar 23 (previously 1decade)
Vaginal May 20 (previously last week of April)
Mutual Hand June 5 (can't remember)
When she started trying to change I told my self to stop mentally recording the dates. But I still remember the last and the previously last.
I use to remember the last 6 months worth and i still could figure out with in a day or two.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 7:24:04 GMT -5
Tiffany, you are the refuser. Why do you keep saying, "we" will wait and see how things pan out? You have been the one refusing sex. If you asked for a quickie before your husband headed to work or if you yourself naked and say, "let's do it" or, you are such a stud," at bedtime, he'd likely eagerly comply and provide sex. Have you taken our advice and told him how much you enjoyed your last encounter and what made it pleasureable or are you still waiting for him to read your mind? You continue to portray yourself as powerless when you have power to create a romantic and sexy marriage. Did you ever celebrate your anniversary or are you still waiting for your husband to do something even though he worked that day and you don't work at all? You could choose to initiate sex in a romantic way. Do you ever initiate sex? Every sex -loving person enjoys being desired. Many of the refused here are not only tired of being refused, they are discouraged and depressed because their partner's don't initiate sex . Yes I have told him that I enjoyed it. As for celebrating our anniversary no, and only because the last two days just as I'm about to bring it up, he's been called back to work. Ugh curse of him being on-call |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jun 15, 2017 11:24:46 GMT -5
Once in 2017. 3 times in 2016. Once the year before. I have been informed that there will not be any more opportunities.
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Post by orangepeel on Jun 15, 2017 23:33:38 GMT -5
November 2012.
For fuck's sake.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2017 4:54:36 GMT -5
OK, this poll was a bad idea.
Mentioned it to my therapist last night, and she pointed out (rightly, as I wrote in the intro to this page) that comparing myself with others is pretty much the way to madness.
Of course nearly everyone else has more (and better quality) sex than most of us. But speaking for myself, I need to optimize my own situation - accept that this is the way things are as long as I am not willing to divorce - and deal with my own stuff, not torture myself every time I get jealous.
I wanted to make myself miserable and I succeeded. Time to stop that.
(Easier said than done.)
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 16, 2017 5:11:04 GMT -5
Three times in 2016, also.
I may well decline any of her future wifely duty starfishing. I get more appreciative feedback from my right hand.
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Post by Dan on Jun 16, 2017 10:04:12 GMT -5
Why, just this week I've had sex four times alone.
And I do mean "alone"....
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jun 16, 2017 10:25:49 GMT -5
Why, just this week I've had sex four times alone. And I do mean "alone".... Well if that counts, i guess i am doing well. |
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Post by h on Jun 16, 2017 11:02:01 GMT -5
Why, just this week I've had sex four times alone. And I do mean "alone".... If we count that, I've had twice a day since I learned how... |
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Post by tamara68 on Jun 16, 2017 16:42:11 GMT -5
OK, this poll was a bad idea. Mentioned it to my therapist last night, and she pointed out (rightly, as I wrote in the intro to this page) that comparing myself with others is pretty much the way to madness. Of course nearly everyone else has more (and better quality) sex than most of us. But speaking for myself, I need to optimize my own situation - accept that this is the way things are as long as I am not willing to divorce - and deal with my own stuff, not torture myself every time I get jealous. I wanted to make myself miserable and I succeeded. Time to stop that. (Easier said than done.) Sometimes it isn't that bad to make yourself miserable... When you have been feeling half miserable for a long time, that becomes normal. And if you are used to that for a long enough time, it is in itself not enough to start actively do something to improve the situation. When something happens that makes you feel more miserable, maybe that is just what you need to be aware enough of the situation to realize that you can actually do something about it and that it is You who is the one who has the power to do that. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 16, 2017 20:42:55 GMT -5
I have been pushing really hard for change. He has actually been responding and making some serious changes for himself and us. We have had more sex in the year 2017 than in the two previous years combined! (11 times, I know it's freaking crazy... Yet still not enough) So 12 days for me right now I'm in a similar situation. My recent pressure has resulted in more sex this year so far than in the last whole year (or any other single year including the first). I didn't keep track at first but since the middle of 2012, I have written down the date of every time we have sexual contact and what kind it was (PIV, HJ). The list isn't that long. I actually keep the dates in my Google calendar, that way I can just search for "successful attempt" and see all the dates.. and if it is not sex I put that in the notes. I also save the failed attempts if I have asked more than five times without a success. There are a lot of those events in my calendar last year :/ I think saving the dates gives me a good idea of the amount of time it had been without feeling like I am actually bothering him "too much" |
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