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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2017 15:00:20 GMT -5
This photo and discussion makes the point well. It's about being in love with yourself and your partner and being giving of yourself while not feeling like it's a one way relationship. My weight has fluctuated over the years as has my wife's and I have never found a correlation of that to sexual alignment. The fittest 5-years of my life were also some of the unhappiest in the mismatch. Human being are complicated to be sure.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jun 2, 2017 15:09:52 GMT -5
I don't think it's so much about looks as it is lifestyle and compatibility. I enjoy moving, being outside, partaking in activities that are active, and pushing myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because of my own values, aggressive, passionate, competitive individuals are most attractive to me.
I've dated women of all shapes and sizes so possess those traits, any I might be in the minority here, but I'll actually read a woman's profile and try and get an idea of her values and priorities before I start creeping on the pictures; I'm not trying to waste my time chasing a pretty decoration with the personality of an oak tree.
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Post by lyn on Jun 2, 2017 21:37:38 GMT -5
It's def not about looks. It's about THEM. Their issues. I'd say 90% of the time the sexual rejection / abandonment has zero to do with the refused spouse's appearance. Maybe even 95%.
Up until 6-9 mo ago, I was still attracted to my h - didn't want to be, but I was. He now looks exactly like he did 6-9 mo ago but you couldn't pay me enough to have sex with him at this point. Nope, not even a million.......... not a Ferrari, a palazzo in Italy, nada. Not happening.
It's weird knowing that now I'm rejecting him. I am a refuser of sorts. So, he's being rejected now because of MY issues (precipitating from years of a sm of course).
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 3, 2017 8:52:15 GMT -5
It's def not about looks. It's about THEM. Their issues. I'd say 90% of the time the sexual rejection / abandonment has zero to do with the refused spouse's appearance. Maybe even 95%. Up until 6-9 mo ago, I was still attracted to my h - didn't want to be, but I was. He now looks exactly like he did 6-9 mo ago but you couldn't pay me enough to have sex with him at this point. Nope, not even a million.......... not a Ferrari, a palazzo in Italy, nada. Not happening. It's weird knowing that now I'm rejecting him. I am a refuser of sorts. So, he's being rejected now because of MY issues (precipitating from years of a sm of course). Becoming a counter refuser brings with it some clarity as to "the why" and that it doesn't matter. He had HIS reasons and now you have yours with that comes some peace. Yes the looks have nothing to do with it. There are drop dead gorgeous women, and I am not one of them, whose husbands will not have sex with them. Sexuality is a very personal thing. I am probably a 6 or 7 but to some men I'd be a 2 and to some a 9. My point is beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also think that someone that may be a 5 as you get to know them and their personality they turn into a 9 for you and devestatingly handsome. Oh, for a million dollars, I'd fuck my ex no problem. I'd probably have to give him some of the money to get him to fuck me but I'd do it for a million. He'd have to buy the viagra with his own money and it would have to be doggy style I don't want to see him while we do it. I'm being playful and funny here no disrespect intended. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jun 3, 2017 9:18:43 GMT -5
It's def not about looks. It's about THEM. Their issues. I'd say 90% of the time the sexual rejection / abandonment has zero to do with the refused spouse's appearance. Maybe even 95%. Up until 6-9 mo ago, I was still attracted to my h - didn't want to be, but I was. He now looks exactly like he did 6-9 mo ago but you couldn't pay me enough to have sex with him at this point. Nope, not even a million.......... not a Ferrari, a palazzo in Italy, nada. Not happening. It's weird knowing that now I'm rejecting him. I am a refuser of sorts. So, he's being rejected now because of MY issues (precipitating from years of a sm of course). I think the keyword here is respect. As I watched my STBX sink more and more into being an inactive, unhappy mess who was unwilling or unable to do anything to change her circumstances, I realized that I had stopped respecting her, and was pitying her instead. That was a massive realization for me. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 3, 2017 9:26:25 GMT -5
It's def not about looks. It's about THEM. Their issues. I'd say 90% of the time the sexual rejection / abandonment has zero to do with the refused spouse's appearance. Maybe even 95%. Up until 6-9 mo ago, I was still attracted to my h - didn't want to be, but I was. He now looks exactly like he did 6-9 mo ago but you couldn't pay me enough to have sex with him at this point. Nope, not even a million.......... not a Ferrari, a palazzo in Italy, nada. Not happening. It's weird knowing that now I'm rejecting him. I am a refuser of sorts. So, he's being rejected now because of MY issues (precipitating from years of a sm of course). I think the keyword here is respect. As I watched my STBX sink more and more into being an inactive, unhappy mess who was unwilling or unable to do anything to change her circumstances, I realized that I had stopped respecting her, and was pitying her instead. That was a massive realization for me. And (I hope I am adding this correctly) she showed no respect for your thoughts, needs, desires and goals. The team effort no longer exists. Just taking and no giving. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 3, 2017 9:39:16 GMT -5
It's def not about looks. It's about THEM. Their issues. I'd say 90% of the time the sexual rejection / abandonment has zero to do with the refused spouse's appearance. Maybe even 95%. Up until 6-9 mo ago, I was still attracted to my h - didn't want to be, but I was. He now looks exactly like he did 6-9 mo ago but you couldn't pay me enough to have sex with him at this point. Nope, not even a million.......... not a Ferrari, a palazzo in Italy, nada. Not happening. It's weird knowing that now I'm rejecting him. I am a refuser of sorts. So, he's being rejected now because of MY issues (precipitating from years of a sm of course). I think the keyword here is respect. As I watched my STBX sink more and more into being an inactive, unhappy mess who was unwilling or unable to do anything to change her circumstances, I realized that I had stopped respecting her, and was pitying her instead. That was a massive realization for me. Yeah I can relate to that. I remember going in the mornings to exercise and telling my H that when he came home from work I would go again with him if he wanted to. That was Summer 2013, he declined. Then one morning I didn't go and he mocked me because I skipped a day. Respect is huge and it's a two way street. |
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