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Post by lyn on May 30, 2017 11:03:59 GMT -5
Did it precise and calm like surgery. I see your son isn't too invested in keeping the marriage intact. Seems like husband is realizing how hopeless it is to try to rekindle the romance. You told him well. Good luck. Thank you! And, you're absolutely right - son just wants to get back to school away from the middle-aged drama 😉 |
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Post by shamwow on May 30, 2017 12:55:23 GMT -5
Lyn,
This process has been a long time in the making. Count your blessings you live in a state with such a short timeline. I'm hoping your husband goes the uncontested route for everyone's sake.
It almost seems like we have a "graduating class" of 2017 (yourself, Nancy B, myself, and a few others I've seen). If spring is a time for romance, this summer seems to be time to get the fuck out...cue graduation music and robes with nobody wearing anything underneath.
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Post by WindSister on May 30, 2017 13:11:38 GMT -5
Here's to a new chapter --- wishing you the best!
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Post by lyn on May 31, 2017 9:58:12 GMT -5
Lyn, This process has been a long time in the making. Count your blessings you live in a state with such a short timeline. I'm hoping your husband goes the uncontested route for everyone's sake. It almost seems like we have a "graduating class" of 2017 (yourself, Nancy B, myself, and a few others I've seen). If spring is a time for romance, this summer seems to be time to get the fuck out...cue graduation music and robes with nobody wearing anything underneath. It does seem like a lot of us are finally getting the f*ck out. I'm so happy for us all! Others will follow, when the time is right for them. One thing that helped me finally pull the trigger is putting it out there (on here mostly) that I am leaving - announcing by such and such date. For me, it helped to keep me focused knowing that others knew. Kind of kept me accountable if that makes sense. Good luck to you shamwow 😊 |
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Post by lyn on May 31, 2017 9:59:56 GMT -5
Here's to a new chapter --- wishing you the best! Thank YOU! WindSister Your story is and has been truly inspirational - LIFE on the other side sure looks good! |
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Post by shamwow on May 31, 2017 10:16:21 GMT -5
Lyn, This process has been a long time in the making. Count your blessings you live in a state with such a short timeline. I'm hoping your husband goes the uncontested route for everyone's sake. It almost seems like we have a "graduating class" of 2017 (yourself, Nancy B, myself, and a few others I've seen). If spring is a time for romance, this summer seems to be time to get the fuck out...cue graduation music and robes with nobody wearing anything underneath. It does seem like a lot of us are finally getting the f*ck out. I'm so happy for us all! Others will follow, when the time is right for them. One thing that helped me finally pull the trigger is putting it out there (on here mostly) that I am leaving - announcing by such and such date. For me, it helped to keep me focused knowing that others knew. Kind of kept me accountable if that makes sense. Good luck to you shamwow 😊 I totally agree on publicly committing to dates. When I enter a marathon, I tell everyone and their dog when it is and that I'm doing it. Doing that gives you a whole bunch of people who will be asking about it and keep you "accountable". It isn't that we need to be "accountable" to make progress, but there is something psychologically that makes it easier to keep focused on a long term goal when you know other people are watching, and (hopefully) cheering you on. I've only had one marathon that I've backed out of that I've publicly announced (and that was for injury). I've had several that I've "decided to do" but not announced to others. Those have a much more mixed bag of actually following through. And God knows the divorce process is a marathon. Grueling and relentless....but Lyn, you're close to the end, and if the metaphor holds true, crossing the finish line will feel exhausting and amazing at the same time. Then it's time for a hot bath and some Tito's  |
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Post by lyn on Jun 3, 2017 11:44:10 GMT -5
Well, now over a week later, and I am officially living in the twilight zone.
It's like the conversation never happened. He's still talking about plans - blah blah blah......... on his best behaviour - it's all an act - whatever.
I mm beginning to think he may not actually believe it's happening unless or until he is served.
He's still planning on going on the stupid summer trip - leaving on the 15th. It IS about a million degrees outside here so I don't blame him for wanting to get out of dodge, but it will make it difficult to divorce if he's not here. I know that it CAN be done just probably will be contested.
We'll be speaking more freely about this after son leaves on the 8th (as a courtesy to him I'm waiting). I do have a minor surgery scheduled for the 10th..... ugh I'll have to rely on H to be there and drive me home after.
Cards will literally be on the table on the 11th.
Waiting is sooooooo difficult when I just want to go live and be FREE of this cesspool of dysfunction.
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 3, 2017 11:58:43 GMT -5
Well, now over a week later, and I am officially living in the twilight zone. It's like the conversation never happened. He's still talking about plans - blah blah blah......... on his best behaviour - it's all an act - whatever. I mm beginning to think he may not actually believe it's happening unless or until he is served. He's still planning on going on the stupid summer trip - leaving on the 15th. It IS about a million degrees outside here so I don't blame him for wanting to get out of dodge, but it will make it difficult to divorce if he's not here. I know that it CAN be done just probably will be contested. We'll be speaking more freely about this after son leaves on the 8th (as a courtesy to him I'm waiting). I do have a minor surgery scheduled for the 10th..... ugh I'll have to rely on H to be there and drive me home after. Cards will literally be on the table on the 11th. Waiting is sooooooo difficult when I just want to go live and be FREE of this cesspool of dysfunction. My ex was in denial until he was sent a letter in the mail by another attorney notifying him that I filed and he would be served and to contact him. Refusers are avoidant by nature. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 3, 2017 12:03:13 GMT -5
Bloody hell lyn. I'm in a similar spot. Did my speech a couple weeks ago. The atmosphere is nothing short of grotesque! He's really totally in denial. They're relying on us not following through. I'm just waiting to bring it up again. There's always a reason (or maybe sometimes an excuse for me) to put it off until tomorrow. For me, the logic and reasoning and a huge awareness of why splitting is right is all completely in place. It's my own issues that keep holding me back. My years of low self esteem, I'm working hard at this just now. My feelings of sheer terror at confrontation. Working on this too. My fear that things will get nasty. There is history of that. There's so much for us all to consider when ending a relationship. And it's hard as fuck. You'll get there. He'll have to accept it. You deserve a happy life and he does too. It's out there for us all. With or without a partner. They're no good if they're no good. Sending you love, strength and understanding chicka xxxx |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 3, 2017 12:05:29 GMT -5
And best of luck with your procedure. Might be some nice doctors around  xxx |
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Post by lyn on Jun 3, 2017 12:13:46 GMT -5
Bloody hell lyn. I'm in a similar spot. Did my speech a couple weeks ago. The atmosphere is nothing short of grotesque! He's really totally in denial. They're relying on us not following through. I'm just waiting to bring it up again. There's always a reason (or maybe sometimes an excuse for me) to put it off until tomorrow. For me, the logic and reasoning and a huge awareness of why splitting is right is all completely in place. It's my own issues that keep holding me back. My years of low self esteem, I'm working hard at this just now. My feelings of sheer terror at confrontation. Working on this too. My fear that things will get nasty. There is history of that. There's so much for us all to consider when ending a relationship. And it's hard as fuck. You'll get there. He'll have to accept it. You deserve a happy life and he does too. It's out there for us all. With or without a partner. They're no good if they're no good. Sending you love, strength and understanding chicka xxxx Thank you honey - I know you're going through the same right now. It is soooooo hard! It's hard to rip apart someone's life (whether they fully deserve it or not which both of ours do) when you're a kind person. They're taking advantage of our kind dispositions! It's pissing me off! Maybe WE need to get angry! Really really angry then serve them with papers and run off. Kind of like dropping a stink-bomb then making a run for it! Lol I do think about your situation and pray that you're safe. You are a uniquely strong, loving person - this emanates from each and every post here. Sending you all of the positive vibes I can muster with hopes that soon you'll see what everyone sees - you're amazing - you can do this. I so appreciate your support xxxxxxxx💜 |
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Post by shamwow on Jun 3, 2017 19:38:10 GMT -5
Not surprised about husband. Hope whatever the procedure is that it goes smoothly!
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 3, 2017 19:44:57 GMT -5
Well, now over a week later, and I am officially living in the twilight zone. It's like the conversation never happened. He's still talking about plans - blah blah blah......... on his best behaviour - it's all an act - whatever. I mm beginning to think he may not actually believe it's happening unless or until he is served. He's still planning on going on the stupid summer trip - leaving on the 15th. It IS about a million degrees outside here so I don't blame him for wanting to get out of dodge, but it will make it difficult to divorce if he's not here. I know that it CAN be done just probably will be contested. We'll be speaking more freely about this after son leaves on the 8th (as a courtesy to him I'm waiting). I do have a minor surgery scheduled for the 10th..... ugh I'll have to rely on H to be there and drive me home after. Cards will literally be on the table on the 11th. Waiting is sooooooo difficult when I just want to go live and be FREE of this cesspool of dysfunction. Would it be to your advantage to proceed without him? Can that be done? If he's served his papers, and wants to leave town, that doesn't look very good for him. Can you arrange a ride with a neighbor or friend? Those days are coming. You will need the support of others. Surely someone as giving as you has a large amount of favors coming your way. (I mean that with all sincerity) It's time for some taking. |
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Post by lyn on Jun 3, 2017 21:37:18 GMT -5
Not surprised about husband. Hope whatever the procedure is that it goes smoothly! Just Lasik but I will be "blind"for a few hours I think😉 |
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Post by shamwow on Jun 4, 2017 12:53:54 GMT -5
Not surprised about husband. Hope whatever the procedure is that it goes smoothly! Just Lasik but I will be "blind"for a few hours I think😉 Lasik was hands down the best money I've ever spent. Granted I may have to ammend that based on the outcome of the divorce, but the jury is out on that one. |
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