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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:23:16 GMT -5
lyn, you go girl. Totally on it 👏👏👏 Xxx Thanks EO! Just tryin to stay on it!!! Xx |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:25:22 GMT -5
lyn bursting with pride and happiness for you x Thank you merrygoround! I sometimes think we may be in a similar spot ...... I wish you the best sister X |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:31:14 GMT -5
Don't you feel relieved? Way to go! Thank you! Yessss I do feel so relieved - I can't even tell you! Now, I'm sure he's probably going to drop his "best behaviour" act once the dust settles a bit more. Only a short time more. I can do this. What he says or does at this point doesn't matter. I can only do me - And NO on the trip together, although, he informed me also last Thursday that he had paid the balance on the vacation🙄. This was the point I realized it was time to give him the news. |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:39:23 GMT -5
Great execution of your planning, lyn. The twilight zone of time until your son moves may be a bit psychedelic so stay grounded in whatever way works best for you - walks in nature, bubble baths, whatever affirms you. I'm so proud of you for speaking your truth, standing up for your needs, and protecting your rightful assets. Particularly- doing so in a calm, straight to the point method without flinging shitballs at him. Well done adulting in all aspects. Very happy for the growth you've shown in getting there! Thanks so much GeekGoddess! A lot of what you've said along the way has resonated with me greatly. I'm just going to continue to do my thing these next few weeks - do some fun things with my son as he'll be off soon. I truly believe, 100%, that in this situation when one announces to their spouse the divorce, it's best (at least as I see it) to be kind, direct, and keep it focused inward. Throwing mud like, "you're a lousy husband - gambling - no sex blah blah blah" really does no good. Now, if /when he asks specific questions about why (now HE gets to Why Chase!), I'll answer his questions truthfully - tactfully. If he wants to act like an idiot - he can do that alone. |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:45:51 GMT -5
I felt a gloomy depression of sorrow, and guilt, for myself and everyone else involved. Are you experiencing some of the same? Yes....it should, be a time of praise and congratulations! Then again, it's natural, normal, expected, to have a boat load of mixed emotions. Please, please, express yourself to others, and surround yourself with "can do" people in your life! If you don't quit, you can't loose! Getting divorced is NOT quitting. It's moving forward! Thank you GC - I appreciate your support! As you mentioned, it should be a time for congratulations etc, yes, but I'm also on my own mini- rollercoaster ride. Of course there is still some sadness, and even some anger, but, I've really had so much time to process this that I mostly just feel optimistic about the future. Excited to have the opportunity for more personal growth as it was becoming apparent I couldn't grow anymore as a human if I continued to live in this marriage. Can't wait to get on the other side of this thing! Xx |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 11:46:29 GMT -5
Congratulations. I wish you well. Thank you so much! |
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2017 12:41:37 GMT -5
Wow, good luck, lyn. I know you have to go through a lot of pain to get to this point. Keep coming back here - the support is great after you have The Talk, and even beyond that. |
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Post by lyn on May 29, 2017 17:19:22 GMT -5
Wow, good luck, lyn. I know you have to go through a lot of pain to get to this point. Keep coming back here - the support is great after you have The Talk, and even beyond that. Thanks @smartkat! I'm definitely sticking around here..... I love this place and everyone here  |
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Post by McRoomMate on May 29, 2017 18:07:54 GMT -5
lyn Congratulations and respect. Looks like it went very well .. . as well as it can go. Thank-you for sharing and inspiring.
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Post by TMD on May 29, 2017 23:58:07 GMT -5
Don't you feel relieved? Way to go! Thank you! Yessss I do feel so relieved - I can't even tell you! Now, I'm sure he's probably going to drop his "best behaviour" act once the dust settles a bit more. Only a short time more. I can do this. What he says or does at this point doesn't matter. I can only do me - And NO on the trip together, although, he informed me also last Thursday that he had paid the balance on the vacation🙄. This was the point I realized it was time to give him the news. Just keep being you and being true to your needs. It's like a super power! ((Personally, since I am focused on the dissolution of my marriage, I keep making conversations happen. By keeping convo on track with facts and not adding emotion to mix, we have tentatively agreed to a parenting schedule. It's crazy the strength that can be had by keeping things straight forward, simple.)) And glad you don't have to do the vacation. No more pretending! |
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Post by nolongerlonely on May 30, 2017 1:37:18 GMT -5
many congratulations lyn you are an inspiration to my own needs ! As once said I am sure towards the end of Officer and a Gentleman (I love that film) GO GIRL ! (EO got there first with that one, I'm just copying) |
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Post by lwoetin on May 30, 2017 2:42:20 GMT -5
Did it precise and calm like surgery. I see your son isn't too invested in keeping the marriage intact. Seems like husband is realizing how hopeless it is to try to rekindle the romance. You told him well. Good luck.
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Post by lyn on May 30, 2017 10:58:29 GMT -5
lyn Congratulations and respect. Looks like it went very well .. . as well as it can go. Thank-you for sharing and inspiring. Thank YOU McRoomMate! It went fairly well, although, he is in denial so it is the calm before the storm - maybe. Hope all is going well in your side! |
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Post by lyn on May 30, 2017 11:01:21 GMT -5
Thank you! Yessss I do feel so relieved - I can't even tell you! Now, I'm sure he's probably going to drop his "best behaviour" act once the dust settles a bit more. Only a short time more. I can do this. What he says or does at this point doesn't matter. I can only do me - And NO on the trip together, although, he informed me also last Thursday that he had paid the balance on the vacation🙄. This was the point I realized it was time to give him the news. Just keep being you and being true to your needs. It's like a super power! ((Personally, since I am focused on the dissolution of my marriage, I keep making conversations happen. By keeping convo on track with facts and not adding emotion to mix, we have tentatively agreed to a parenting schedule. It's crazy the strength that can be had by keeping things straight forward, simple.)) And glad you don't have to do the vacation. No more pretending! It is pretty amazing how we can find the personal strength (that was lacking for years), as soon as we are able to be honest with ourselves. It's such a sticky situation as you well know! Stay the course girl!! X |
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Post by lyn on May 30, 2017 11:02:19 GMT -5
many congratulations lyn you are an inspiration to my own needs ! As once said I am sure towards the end of Officer and a Gentleman (I love that film) GO GIRL ! (EO got there first with that one, I'm just copying) Thank YOU nolongerlonely 😊 (I love that film too!!) |
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