Post by lyn on May 28, 2017 21:52:22 GMT -5
Last Thursday night I finally gave my stbx the news. I told him simply that I need a relationship rich in sex, intimacy, and honesty. Said I was "sorry we had grown too far apart". Ended the conversation with, "We are getting a divorce".
I was met with extreme sadness from him. The past few days have been exhausting. He's ping-ponging between sadness, denial, and some romantic delusion right now.
The past few days have been absolutely exhausting.
I don't think I could've done this without the education and support I've received here, and a really good therapist I've been seeing a lot of these past few months. For this, I really thank everyone here. If I wouldn't have discovered this forum, I'd still be sinking in the quicksand - absolutely no doubt.
For those that may suggest such, I have consulted with 3 attorneys and have 2 on the ready - each specializing in a different divorce style (contested vs. non contested). I removed half of all liquid assets from ma all joint accounts - into a new personal one. Removed him as signor off of several credit cards and opened a few more (to try to offset a lowering of my credit score from the big "D"). Most of the financials have been divided aside from one account that I'm not on. I did get a balance for that acct on the day I announced - continueing to watch it (and all the others) while this crap is going on.
My 18 year old son is moving out (again) on 6/8. On 6/9, the stbx and I will be continuing the conversation and at this point will determine whether the divorce will be contested or not. A difference of around 10k in legal fees. I'm good with the non contested as I've compiled enough financial info to come out alright in either case - but of course the non-contested would be better for both of us. 2 weeks final from the day filed. Pretty incredible.
My exit plan is completely in tact - it wouldn't have been this way had I not been a frequent member here. THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart 💜
What has been a surprise throughout this has been witnessing the emotions of my H. He has yet to get angry (outwardly anyway). He was extremely sad when I told him. Sick and reclusive on Friday, then, yesterday woke up as if nothing happened. Of course he told me of all of his incredible plans to rekindle our romance this summer on this stupid, summer-long trip we always take. This started yesterday, the bargaining. My son has asked that I let it rest until he leaves on the 8th as my H is driving him crazy asking him what he should do (this is a step child/parent relationship - Thank God).
So, living in a bit of a pseudo status quo situation here until the 8th. At that point, no holds barred as this is the end.
Finally!
Sigh............
I was met with extreme sadness from him. The past few days have been exhausting. He's ping-ponging between sadness, denial, and some romantic delusion right now.
The past few days have been absolutely exhausting.
I don't think I could've done this without the education and support I've received here, and a really good therapist I've been seeing a lot of these past few months. For this, I really thank everyone here. If I wouldn't have discovered this forum, I'd still be sinking in the quicksand - absolutely no doubt.
For those that may suggest such, I have consulted with 3 attorneys and have 2 on the ready - each specializing in a different divorce style (contested vs. non contested). I removed half of all liquid assets from ma all joint accounts - into a new personal one. Removed him as signor off of several credit cards and opened a few more (to try to offset a lowering of my credit score from the big "D"). Most of the financials have been divided aside from one account that I'm not on. I did get a balance for that acct on the day I announced - continueing to watch it (and all the others) while this crap is going on.
My 18 year old son is moving out (again) on 6/8. On 6/9, the stbx and I will be continuing the conversation and at this point will determine whether the divorce will be contested or not. A difference of around 10k in legal fees. I'm good with the non contested as I've compiled enough financial info to come out alright in either case - but of course the non-contested would be better for both of us. 2 weeks final from the day filed. Pretty incredible.
My exit plan is completely in tact - it wouldn't have been this way had I not been a frequent member here. THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart 💜
What has been a surprise throughout this has been witnessing the emotions of my H. He has yet to get angry (outwardly anyway). He was extremely sad when I told him. Sick and reclusive on Friday, then, yesterday woke up as if nothing happened. Of course he told me of all of his incredible plans to rekindle our romance this summer on this stupid, summer-long trip we always take. This started yesterday, the bargaining. My son has asked that I let it rest until he leaves on the 8th as my H is driving him crazy asking him what he should do (this is a step child/parent relationship - Thank God).
So, living in a bit of a pseudo status quo situation here until the 8th. At that point, no holds barred as this is the end.
Finally!
Sigh............
