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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 13:16:39 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, shamwow , I am happy to see she has a new title and not because I celebrate your divorce. It was just time. You aren't ready for it now, of course, but "wife" can actually be something beautiful. As can "husband." So when I saw you call her your wife knowing the circumstances, it just wasn't jiving. And when I see anyone say "THE WIFE," I shudder a bit. Those words have taken on a whole new life for me - something deeply personal and spiritual and meaningful and nothing to do with "ball and chain" type thinking. I definitely appreciated your symbolism and need for actual closure, though, it makes sense! Sorry it's been an emotional one, but that just proves you are human with a heart and feelings. No one signs on the line without some emotion. (unless someone proves me wrong, I guess, but I can't picture it). After I shook hands with my attorney on the stairs of the courthouse and she walked off, I had a little ceremony. - I removed my ring - I put it on my key chain - Later, it will go into my "box of treasures" I honestly do not believe I will ever marry again. I am not saying I won't fall in love. I'm not saying I won't have a long term relationship. I just do not see any value in that particular institution anymore. It is great for raising kids. I don't plan on having any more kids. This may sound strange, but I believe aside from kids, the institution of marriage almost cultivates a complacency in a relationship. What "till death do we part" really means is "till death do we part or it will be really messy and painful". And for many, that safety net becomes a hammock. I do believe in relationships. I'm a relationship kind of guy. I also believe that both sides in relationship need to work hard at it. Every. Single. Day. Marriage provides a comfort level that means you don't need to work hard every day. You should, but you don't have to. Any advantage marriage confers is negated in my eyes by that one simple truth. Once you're in, you're snared. Perhaps my thoughts will change on that in he fullness of time. But that basic truth won't change, and I don't know time to process it will help. Sorry, in a really strange mood today (duh). Discussing future marriage prospects doesn't feel like a good idea.  |
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Post by WindSister on Jul 12, 2017 13:21:09 GMT -5
Sorry, in a really strange mood today (duh). Discussing future marriage prospects doesn't feel like a good idea. lol. I agree!!! That's a word furthest from your mind. I shouldn't have brought it into your thread, even. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy this new chapter, because as you know, there are joys in it, too. |
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 13:47:37 GMT -5
Each marriage license should come with a yellow caution label:
"Warning, this is a license to enforce celibacy. Your new spouse has the same license. No one, including the courts, care about anything else on this license. You were warned"
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Of course, if I could get the vow of monogamy to be replaced with a Right of First Refusal, I guess it would be possible, under some extraordinary and now unforeseeable circumstance, to change my mind. But I would want that minor change to the wedding vows in writing. And notarized. In triplicate.
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 14:03:33 GMT -5
Hmmm...One other interesting quirk.
I still need to fire my ex. We have an agreement that she continues to make $500 / week for a couple hours of work at my company so that she can maintain a pay history to close on her new house. The house should close between July 28 and August 1. Once that is done, she is off the payroll.
I need to get with my CPA and make sure all of her responsibilities have been accounted for (it ain't much). I also need to go over any tax implications. Those haven't been at the top of my mind so far, but I'll need to explore what options are available to me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2017 16:26:39 GMT -5
Hmmm...One other interesting quirk. I still need to fire my ex. We have an agreement that she continues to make $500 / week for a couple hours of work at my company so that she can maintain a pay history to close on her new house. The house should close between July 28 and August 1. Once that is done, she is off the payroll. I need to get with my CPA and make sure all of her responsibilities have been accounted for (it ain't much). I also need to go over any tax implications. Those haven't been at the top of my mind so far, but I'll need to explore what options are available to me. Wow! That is really good pay for a couple of hours a week!! So has she found another job? |
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 17:37:07 GMT -5
T-Plus-22: Move out of house
T-Minus-0: Divorce Finalized
T-Plus-11: Move into new house
Well, as you know, I am now officially divorced. I've had a game plan for this moment for several years. It was a simple plan, really:
- Get on Tinder
- Swipe a bunch of chicks
- Get swiped back
- Start chatting and actually show interest in more than just a booty call (this puts me in the upper 5% right there).
- Go on a date or three
- Break the three year drought (wrap the shit out of that raskel)
- Date a lot of different women to figure out what I want
- Wash, rinse, repeat (don't blame the playa, blame the game)
A couple months ago, I modified this plan. I met a lady (yes, here on the forum) who I "clicked" with. She is not an active poster, having only done so a few times, but one of her posts struck a chord with me and we started a PM conversation. Our PM conversations led to a genuine friendship. That friendship led to texting via KIK (anonymously), then to phone calls, then to Skype video calls. The culmination of this is that on Friday, she will be flying in (from about 1500 miles away) to visit with me in Houston for the weekend...an extended weekend.
In my two decades of marriage, I didn't cheat (please do NOT read this as disparaging those who have...I was getting damn close to it myself). I tried to do things right. I acted with honor. Now that my marriage is over with my honor intact, I will break my 3 year drought with someone who understands EXACTLY what I have gone through. I understand EXACTLY what she has gone through. Because of this, I suspect this weekend will be both gentle and frenzied, depending on what is needed / desired at the time. To say I am looking forward to it is, well, a fucking understatement.
Look, I know this isn't a dating site. It kind of pisses me off when guys come right out and ask if they can hook up here. Most of the people here (male and female) are battered and bruised (and sometimes broken) by years and even decades of neglect and abuse by someone who promised to have and hold them. But I did find someone here that I clicked with more than I suspected possible. I want to be with her, and she wants to be with me. Now we get to see where it leads.
T-Minus-2: Shammy and his lady meet face to face
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 17:40:44 GMT -5
Congratulations, shammie. You deserve it! Oh yea, pics or it never happened |
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 17:46:21 GMT -5
Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 17:46:21 GMT -5
Congratulations, shammie. You deserve it! Oh yea, pics or it never happened I believe that those types of pictures are not allowed by the terms and conditions of the site. |
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 18:02:55 GMT -5
Congratulations, shammie. You deserve it! Oh yea, pics or it never happened I believe that those types of pictures are not allowed by the terms and conditions of the site. You can PM the pics LOL! |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jul 12, 2017 18:43:02 GMT -5
shamwowMake sure you have plenty of water near by and snack for calories to burn. Oh, have you been eating lots of pineapple?
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 19:30:30 GMT -5
I believe that those types of pictures are not allowed by the terms and conditions of the site. You can PM the pics LOL! You, sir, are a voyeur. I am a gentleman. There will be no such photos delivered to you. Note I did not say anything about no photos taken....  |
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 19:31:30 GMT -5
shamwowMake sure you have plenty of water near by and snack for calories to burn. Oh, have you been eating lots of pineapple? I already have a shopping list. And yes, pineapple juice for hydration and Uh ambiance will be in abundance |
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Post by tamara68 on Jul 12, 2017 20:19:57 GMT -5
T-Minus-2: Shammy and his lady meet face to face Awesome! It will be great |
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Post by beachguy on Jul 12, 2017 20:59:04 GMT -5
You, sir, are a voyeur. I am a gentleman. There will be no such photos delivered to you. Note I did not say anything about no photos taken.... And you, Sir, are just a tease |
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Post by becca on Jul 12, 2017 22:20:03 GMT -5
How exciting! An iliasm romance brews.
This is so much better than meeting up with some "chick" you swiped on Tinder.
You both know just how much it means to get "back in the saddle".
My wish for you both is to be fully present and just let the weekend unfold naturally and enjoy!
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