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Post by shamwow on Jul 11, 2017 8:22:26 GMT -5
T-Plus-21: Move out of house
T-Minus-1?: Divorce Finalized
T-Plus-10: Move into new house
Wife had the kids last night, so I came home to an empty house. I promptly proceeded to fix myself a snack...Spicy Doritos and whip cream. Why? Because I fucking could, that's why. And I've got to report...it wasn't bad!
I kept myself busy getting things set up and moved in. After spending most of two weeks with them, a little break wasn't a bad thing (although I did miss the hell out of them). I did fix myself some real dinner eventually. I'm actually a pretty good cook, but basically just made some brussel sprouts in the oven (make a nice mix of olive oil, garlic, black pepper, salt, diced jalapenos and slather it all over them). Then I got lazy and threw the taco meat from last night in the microwave. That's it...simple dinner. I guess the Doritos and whipped cream filled me up.
I watched a little TV while I got the server set back up at the house (I'm a software developer by trade BTW). I've still got a lot of settling in to do, but I am looking forward to using some of this time alone to work on various projects. Among which may be an app to help with those in a sexless marriage. Essentially, it would help folks in this situation to navigate their chosen path (stay, cheat, leave). I've written several such apps in the past for psychologists, but on this subject, I feel I am, perhaps, better qualified to design it than a "professional". But that would be something I may do in the coming months.
I texted the kids, but other than that am going to keep my distance until Thursday when I get them back again for the evening. My wife doesn't seem to understand the boundaries yet. I need to make sure that I do. It is ironic that she is staying at my parent's house with the kids, but I am avoiding the place like the plague. But it does make sense in a twisted way.
My attorney is kind of pissing me off. Both my wife and I just want to get this thing wrapped up. Everything is signed. I just need a date she can go to court first thing in the morning and we get this thing done. Neither my wife or I can touch our money until this is done...and it's getting annoying. But it should happen in the next couple days...fingers crossed.
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Post by shamwow on Jul 11, 2017 11:56:05 GMT -5
My attorney just got back with me. She asked if I can do court tomorrow morning...my 20th wedding anniversary.
I asked the wife if she has a problem with that, she said no. Her attorney wanted to be there, though, and that may be a problem since I think she could only be there on Thursday.
Did I mention Doritos and whip cream are da bomb? The fact I've still got the Doritos on my mind on a co-equal footing with the court date gives you an idea of how worried I am about this. Yes, I'd like to get the money split, but that is honestly the last thing left minus hearing a gavel come down. My marriage may be over, but Doritos and whipped cream will remain.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jul 11, 2017 12:00:41 GMT -5
My attorney just got back with me. She asked if I can do court tomorrow morning...my 20th wedding anniversary. I asked the wife if she has a problem with that, she said no. Her attorney wanted to be there, though, and that may be a problem since I think she could only be there on Thursday. Did I mention Doritos and whip cream are da bomb? The fact I've still got the Doritos on my mind on a co-equal footing with the court date gives you an idea of how worried I am about this. Yes, I'd like to get the money split, but that is honestly the last thing left minus hearing a gavel come down. My marriage may be over, but Doritos and whipped cream will remain. That sounds like the perfect ending date. |
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T-Minus
Jul 11, 2017 16:25:00 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by bballgirl on Jul 11, 2017 16:25:00 GMT -5
My attorney just got back with me. She asked if I can do court tomorrow morning...my 20th wedding anniversary. I asked the wife if she has a problem with that, she said no. Her attorney wanted to be there, though, and that may be a problem since I think she could only be there on Thursday. Did I mention Doritos and whip cream are da bomb? The fact I've still got the Doritos on my mind on a co-equal footing with the court date gives you an idea of how worried I am about this. Yes, I'd like to get the money split, but that is honestly the last thing left minus hearing a gavel come down. My marriage may be over, but Doritos and whipped cream will remain. Pretzel Crisps - Garlic Parmesan with scallion cream cheese Trust me you won't regret it! |
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 8:05:08 GMT -5
T-Plus-22: Move out of house
T-Minus-15 minutes: Divorce Finalized
T-Plus-11: Move into new house
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. I just arrived at court to finalize my divorce. 15 minutes until my court visit.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. Not happy. Not sad. Perhaps it was a bad choice to do this on my anniversary, but it was the first day all the stars aligned, and I just want this over. Maybe the day doesn't matter worth a damn. Maybe it is just supposed to suck.
A bit choked up right now. More to come.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 12, 2017 8:12:07 GMT -5
T-Plus-22: Move out of house T-Minus-15 minutes: Divorce Finalized T-Plus-11: Move into new house Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. I just arrived at court to finalize my divorce. 15 minutes until my court visit. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Not happy. Not sad. Perhaps bad choice to do this on anniversary, but it was the first day all the stars aligned, and I just want this over. A bit choked up right now. More to come. Hang in there. Big hug, hope it helps. Geez talk about closure. I think the stars aligned for this date because it's the right thing to do and now July 13 is the date of your new life and a new beginning filled with lots of happiness. I can't help but say Congrats!! |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jul 12, 2017 8:24:32 GMT -5
shamwowYou can officially say you put up with 20 years of shit. Think of it as the day you were shackled and the day you were set free.
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 8:29:24 GMT -5
Post by greatcoastal on Jul 12, 2017 8:29:24 GMT -5
My court date is coming up in a few days. Ironically it's my STBX's birthday. I was calling it "D" day. For Divorce day. Which just so happens to be the first letter of a certain persons name, (nuff said)
Due to the judge having minor surgery it will most likely get postponed.
I understand the numbness of it all. It takes a while to digest it all, and put everything into perspective. Even then when you think "I've got this" out of the blue, an event happens. And doubt, depression, guilt will take over for a while. It's normal, it happens. Less and less with time.
It's motivating to read the actions that are taking place. Not just words, but action.
Keep your chin up!
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Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 10:03:34 GMT -5
It is done. Off to work. Lump in throat. It will pass.
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Post by nancyb on Jul 12, 2017 10:14:14 GMT -5
T-Plus-22: Move out of house T-Minus-15 minutes: Divorce Finalized T-Plus-11: Move into new house Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. I just arrived at court to finalize my divorce. 15 minutes until my court visit. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Not happy. Not sad. Perhaps it was a bad choice to do this on my anniversary, but it was the first day all the stars aligned, and I just want this over. Maybe the day doesn't matter worth a damn. Maybe it is just supposed to suck. A bit choked up right now. More to come. shamwow: My heart is with you at this serious time. I understand the bittersweet nature of the parting. Take care. |
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 10:23:36 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 12, 2017 10:23:36 GMT -5
Its a big day. Embrace it. All of it. Sending you the best of good vibes. T-Plus-22: Move out of house T-Minus-15 minutes: Divorce Finalized T-Plus-11: Move into new house Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. I just arrived at court to finalize my divorce. 15 minutes until my court visit. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Not happy. Not sad. Perhaps it was a bad choice to do this on my anniversary, but it was the first day all the stars aligned, and I just want this over. Maybe the day doesn't matter worth a damn. Maybe it is just supposed to suck. A bit choked up right now. More to come. |
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Post by WindSister on Jul 12, 2017 10:29:33 GMT -5
Wow. Timing. Of course you are choked up, it's a big, final closure. ((((big hugs)))) Even if it's right that doesn't make it easy. Take care of yourself today. It's okay to think of something happy. It's okay to be happy even with the sadness. No guilt in that, been a long road. ((take care))
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 10:46:48 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 12, 2017 10:46:48 GMT -5
Eye on the ball shamwow. Eye on the ball. I can't wait to fucking fuck in my new kitchen  |
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 11:53:54 GMT -5
Post by shamwow on Jul 12, 2017 11:53:54 GMT -5
First conversations with EX (and WindSister, at this point she is no longer my wife, but now my ex) revolved around money and bills. I did have to bring up how we will tell the kids it is final. She didn't have any thoughts on it, so I suggested I tell them Thursday night and then she can follow up on Friday if necessary. I won't see them for a week after Thursday (ouch), so it is the only time I will have to talk with them for a while. |
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T-Minus
Jul 12, 2017 13:03:33 GMT -5
Post by WindSister on Jul 12, 2017 13:03:33 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, shamwow, I am happy to see she has a new title and not because I celebrate your divorce. It was just time. You aren't ready for it now, of course, but "wife" can actually be something beautiful. As can "husband." So when I saw you call her your wife knowing the circumstances, it just wasn't jiving. And when I see anyone say "THE WIFE," I shudder a bit. Those words have taken on a whole new life for me - something deeply personal and spiritual and meaningful and nothing to do with "ball and chain" type thinking. I definitely appreciated your symbolism and need for actual closure, though, it makes sense! Sorry it's been an emotional one, but that just proves you are human with a heart and feelings. No one signs on the line without some emotion. (unless someone proves me wrong, I guess, but I can't picture it). |
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