|
|
Post by thistooshallpass on May 25, 2017 10:41:09 GMT -5
Sorry for the long post but looking for advice. Your whole situation is beyond dysfunctional. My advice? Don't waste your time; your life, waiting and hoping. The counselor is hopeful? It's your choice if you want to give that a go. However, just by reading what you've written about your situation shows me that this is a totally hopeless scenario. It's tragic, but there's no place for hope in your situation. Hope would only become an enemy that would eventually slay you without mercy. Yes. It's a terrible place to be in. Sort things out. More importantly, sort YOURSELF out. Then get out. There's nothing there for you but utter madness. |
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on May 25, 2017 11:51:40 GMT -5
Yep, last stop in the gravy train, time to get off.
|
|
|
|
Post by sdiamond1026 on May 25, 2017 15:00:09 GMT -5
I have experience with BPD among my friends and family. It does cause irrational and impulsive behavior, and that might include cheating, but it doesn't seem to generally cause a lack of libido. It does cause problems in relationships, particularly with those close to them because they often attack and drive away their friends and family. In this case, you have been still invested and she is the one who has indicated a lack of investment - the opposite of that. BPD isn't curable (though it can over a long time be managed to reduce some symptoms). The prognosis for treatment often takes YEARS to get toward a treatment and routine that works somewhat effectively. But that just manages the BPD - it won't create attraction or desire for a person. Again, I don't see anything here that suggests the therapeutic intervention she's suggesting is going to work. If anything, it resets the clock and delays consequences while you assume the risk. There's no therapy she's suggesting that couldn't take place while you are separated - if you both choose a theraupeutic separation as opposed to a divorce. Then she assumes some of the burden to get back toward you and the marriage, as well as the financial risks, which are presently all on you. Even with therapy, the track record for success with this situation (if success is defined as a happy marriage) is very low, when it's gotten to this point. To add to this, BPD does lead to irrational and impulsive behaviour and that might include cheating. But it is NOT going to lead to consistent cheating over a period of 2 years. That is something completely different and simply suggests that your wife has a strong libido but is not actually attracted to you - which you knew already(!) Her libido has always sucked since I've met her. She saw this guy once a month during the 2 yr period. So she doesn't have high libido. She says she would be the same way with him if she saw him more. She says it wasn't about the sex anyway and it was about the compliments and how he made her feel. So in return I guess she gave sex. So it's not like she was this crazy nympho who was having sex with him daily. I think the excitement of the situation and with someone new is what gave her what little libido she had. |
|
