A Sad Truth...

A Sad Truth... May 25, 2017 19:37:41 GMT -5

Quote

Post by greatcoastal on May 25, 2017 19:37:41 GMT -5

May 16, 2017 9:17:31 GMT -5 flashjohn said:

May 16, 2017 9:02:54 GMT -5 greatcoastal said:

When you protect yourself you can't be yourself. You have to become a soldier! You have to always be PROVING they are wrong (since they are so entrenched in "my way only" You have to prepare your arguments! You have to document, and repeat their words! You have to be ready for gas, lighting, projection, control, blanket statements, moving of the goalpost, changing the subject, evading accountability, etc....You must never, ever, let your guard down!

And you know what happens? Pretty soon you've created a prison in which your forced to live.
Not a lovely place is it? And not a whole lot of freedom there either.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, "I'm woman, I'm strong, I'm in your face...I'm tired."
Well, I' m tired too. I quit. I know feel a whole lot better.

AND I'M FREE!!!

This is very profound, GC. For 28 years, I lived in a constant state of defensiveness. I was always on guard, waiting for the next attack. I slept with one eye open, waiting to be screamed at. I also slept on the edge of a king sized bed, in a fetal position, to be as protected as I could possibly be.

Frankly, I have no idea how I survived.

But the good part is that I have developed incredible patience. Also, I am always prepared. I have taken up judo & with the exception of the instructors, I cannot be thrown, pinned or submitted.

PS-I have spoken to Dr. Palmatier. shrink4men.com She really encouraged me to get the hell out.

The other day our 16 yr old son began defending himself against his mother. Not long before she told him "end of discussion" and left the room.

That has narcissist written all over it! That....is not a discussion at all!! is it?

What it is, a very one sided, my way only, you will obey, statement.

Glad you received your encouragement. We all need a lot of it! I'm directing my teens to learn, learn, learn, the warning signs of a narc. and don't make the same mistakes I did.

mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

Post by greatcoastal on May 25, 2017 19:37:41 GMT -5

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