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Post by Apocrypha on Apr 3, 2017 8:50:38 GMT -5
Apocrypha and greatcoastal - women DO have to be a little more suspect of men curious about children, surely? While female pedo's exist, their numbers are far outweighed by "caught" males. I would think if you thought your ex or future ex were posting pictures of your kids Willy-Nilly, you might have a problem with it? It's not about hiding it, it's about safety. Most research that has bothered with even looking at female predation indicates that there are a comparable amount of female predators to male predators, but our hatred and fear of men distracts us from even bothering to think it. It's sad that such hatred is so normalized by now that it seems to most people to be "common knowledge" - so it's not even noticed anymore. A parent asking another parent about their children is pretty normal, if you ask me. I don't see parents posting kids "willy nilly". I do see a few parents who pose with their kids. If one was so inclined, I imagine there would be better ways of preying on children than seeking them out on adult dating sites. Given that dating is a long, treacherous, and winding road, it's very unlikely that any date would ever even get to the point of being introduced in a family situation down the road. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 3, 2017 11:46:53 GMT -5
It depends on how far you want to take, risks, fears, statistics. (your welcome to live in an underground shelter)
Two examples. 1) How many people never go surfing due to the "risk" that they might get bitten by a shark? All because the media plays it way up. Then you realize the risk of getting killed driving in your car is like a 1000% times higher than a shark bite.
2) This one really hits home! It has to do with discrimination, gender, double standards, and hypocrisy. I had worked and volunteered for years in child care at a large church. One day at a meeting we were told that ,"men would no longer be allowed to hold any child on their laps age two or older, or change diapers." After the announcement the lady in charge of childcare immediately looked at me and said, "except for you, GreatCoastal, we trust you and know you" I was so naive to what could possibly even happen by holding a kid on your lap? Someone had to explain it to me. From that day on I was paranoid about holding any of the kids, it made me paranoid. I do remember the day I resigned being told by my boss, "you are the only employee we have ever had where mothers would come and ask for you by name. If you weren't here, they would leave! They trusted you, and there kids loved you that much!"
Those thoughts of discrimination, of being labeled due to gender don't go away. Think of all the other men that will never have the opportunity I had.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 3, 2017 12:48:54 GMT -5
Well I figured I'd put my money where my mouth is
I asked the new guy out for what will be date 3, for dinner.
I had a great time with him Friday night, dinner, a comedy show and a passionate kiss when he walked me to my car.
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Post by WindSister on Apr 3, 2017 12:58:19 GMT -5
Well I figured I'd put my money where my mouth is I asked the new guy out for what will be date 3, for dinner. I had a great time with him Friday night, dinner, a comedy show and a passionate kiss when he walked me to my car. Great to hear! Enjoy!!  |
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Post by JMX on Apr 3, 2017 23:19:27 GMT -5
Apocrypha and greatcoastal - women DO have to be a little more suspect of men curious about children, surely? While female pedo's exist, their numbers are far outweighed by "caught" males. I would think if you thought your ex or future ex were posting pictures of your kids Willy-Nilly, you might have a problem with it? It's not about hiding it, it's about safety. Most research that has bothered with even looking at female predation indicates that there are a comparable amount of female predators to male predators, but our hatred and fear of men distracts us from even bothering to think it. It's sad that such hatred is so normalized by now that it seems to most people to be "common knowledge" - so it's not even noticed anymore. A parent asking another parent about their children is pretty normal, if you ask me. I don't see parents posting kids "willy nilly". I do see a few parents who pose with their kids. If one was so inclined, I imagine there would be better ways of preying on children than seeking them out on adult dating sites. Given that dating is a long, treacherous, and winding road, it's very unlikely that any date would ever even get to the point of being introduced in a family situation down the road. Well, while I am not afraid of men, and understand why you would want to know that someone has children before thinking of dating someone, I need only look at recent bust articles to come up with my hypothesis of simply being careful. I should probably rethink what I post on social media if I am being self-critical. Here's one from this year's Super Bowl: www.aol.com/article/news/2017/02/11/522-johns-and-pimps-arrested-in-super-bowl-sex-trafficking-sting/21711964/I admit though, I did not go through all 522 mug shots. I got bored and didn't find any women going through about 1/4th of the mugshots. Here's a pedo one: medium.com/@lorihandrahan2/professors-staff-arrested-for-trading-in-child-rape-6c39fcf62a9eWhat do I know? Those articles were just from 2017. With that being said - I am a bit of a red pill chick, so in many ways I agree with your some of your points - especially in the original post. I asked my cousin - she has been on dating apps for years - she noted that men do post pics with their children and women less so. She said when men did, she thought it was nice. I didn't follow-up with a question I have now - how did she see the women? Anywhoo... I could easily rattle off a list of friends who were sexually molested by male family members or step dads. I can only recall one male molested by a female - a babysitter. Maybe the issue is in reporting? Otherwise, most personal accounts I have heard of female predators have been of the physically violent or emotionally abusive set. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Apr 4, 2017 10:55:10 GMT -5
I need only look at recent bust articles to come up with my hypothesis of simply being careful. A couple things with that: 1. that articles about something indicate its objective and complete truth, rather than scientific study with control groups. 2. that posting pics with children indicates an inappropriate lack of caution. I can't get into too much detail on these without drifting far off topic, but of the very few studies done that bother to compare rates of predation among female perpetrators to men, they've found them to be about equal. Typically the profile is lesbian, which massively exceeds the sexual, physical and domestic abuse and predation rates of hetero and male homosexuals. The lack of articles on this, or the lack of concern on this when it occurs (ie. female teachers on highschool boys), is not an indication of an actual different rate of predation, but rather indicates a bias toward dismissing female predators, while playing up the narrative of male predators. If we were in the 1980's I could clip a gazillion articles about tens of thousands of Satanists among us. Didn't mean it was true. Many women are attracted to men who present themselves in a fatherly role. An engaged family man who is involved with his kids and who displays love with them often seems to be an attractive feature. I recall hearing more than a few stories of my male friends having gotten it on with female babysitters and I imagine there are more I haven't heard of them. They were relayed to me in a different way though, presented not as molestation. Again, I'm not dismissing your accounts of your friends and the groups of women you have chosen to associate with (I dated one woman last year who claimed that every single man in her entire life had preyed on her and all her lesbian friends - as evidence that all men were predators in one way or another - her point to me), rather, I'm widening the context. Whatever these experiences are, they are not something that is exclusively meted by men. And nobody who hates men (including the woman who claimed that all men were rapists) ever claim they hate men, ever. And yet... But to your second point, it isn't necessarily shown that having kids included in a photograph on a dating profile or eliminating them would make anyone more or less safe from such predation. Most predators (male or female) exhibiting such pathology are drawn to joining careers and pasttimes that bring them in contact with large numbers of children, and typically in situations where they would be away from parents. I don't see that online dating profiles would be an especially likely place to do that. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 5, 2017 6:37:39 GMT -5
Apocrypha - all good points and thank you for your response. The only thing I would take issue with is: ..."and the groups of women you have chosen to associate with...". I can assure you they are friends and acquaintances alike - crossing all socio-economic, political and religious spectrums. Ha! That was a little condescending. I do understand your point. For some reason, most people just feel comfortable telling me their life story - but I can see how I have not heard as many stories about men being sexual victims of women.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 5, 2017 7:48:10 GMT -5
I will be the 1st to acknowledge that I was used for sex by an older female when I was 5 years old. I wouldn't say I was molested because in looking back I didn't feel any shame or the need for secrecy. And I don't view her as a predator. I didn't suffer any long term psychological damage or personality disorders because of my early encounters with this female. This relationship ended when my family moved, don't ask me about time frames as I can't remember. So my virginity was gone at age 5, taken by an older female, at age 7.
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Post by nancyb on Apr 5, 2017 8:02:55 GMT -5
You were off to an early start worksforme2...LOL glad the scarring has been minimal in your case.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 6, 2017 7:50:40 GMT -5
One more thing and this really pisses me off. It hasn't happened all that often, but it's happened enough that I'm irked about it. Women who come on POF that delete my email before even reading it. They didn't view me or look at my profile or reply to say "thanks, but no thanks" or "go to hell". Just delete my initial email unread. WTF, why are you even here bitch?
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