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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2017 1:37:46 GMT -5
Tomorrow! It's midnight here and I'm wallowing in self pity. Lol Okay, report back tomorrow in that case! |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Feb 18, 2017 1:55:24 GMT -5
Deedle, exactly. Screwed or should I say unscrewed either way. Lol EXACTLY! I exercise for myself. I'm too vain to do it for him or anyone else. It is all about me and how I feel about me. |
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Post by cc on Feb 18, 2017 2:40:19 GMT -5
I think I need to take a page from your book, deedle. I plan to tomorrow
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Feb 18, 2017 2:43:25 GMT -5
I have the same problem. When I am getting enough vigorous exercise I get way more sexually driven (maybe empowered by feeling good helps that too)... Somewhat thankfully in my life right now between toddler, college, work and home I don't really get much time to actually get that heavy exercise in hahaha!
Although, I have also noticed that if I am not satisfying myself with exercise or other "just for me" activities I tend to eat. Tonight my little and I ate half a (small) left over birthday cake
Did someone say there was left over lasagna in the fridge? Brb
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Post by richfairy72 on Feb 18, 2017 4:20:07 GMT -5
Little by little guys. I have put weight on, and it makes me feel even more trapped- who is going to want me now! And comfort eating, don't get me started on that...
Ok, so let's try and encourage each other....
Today, I am going to cut down on the food a little, and walk a little further. Every time I go upstairs, I am going to try to go a bit faster..
Rome wasn't built in a day, cc. Try one thing at a time....
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Post by dinnaken on Feb 18, 2017 4:21:05 GMT -5
Oooo... this question is right on the mark. I apologise in advance if I start to rant and rave!
A month ago I found a photo taken of me the year I met my STBX; it was heartbreaking - who was this slim, fit, guy smiling back at me? I was eating healthily, running three times a week and covering c.10 miles a week; as a result, I had a BMI of 20, it's now 30... I eat my anxieties in a BIG way, so you're not on your own.
After we were married, thin or fat, my wife rarely responded and the binge eating was my way of dealing with my feelings. I enjoy eating and since I was getting no sex I might as well pass the time doing something I enjoy - this was not a good solution.
However, I do agree - getting out and exercising increases my sex drive (not that I have anyone to lavish it upon) and having someone to go out with really helps. If you're on your own and you don't go out for exercise you are letting no one down but yourself; having someone else made me turn out on those occasions when I really didn't feel like it.
With a high BMI, I have to be careful running but I walk a lot. Yesterday I walked four miles visiting estate agents looking for a new place, yay!
As for my returning sex drive (spoiler alert) perhaps that's the subject of a different post!
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 18, 2017 4:59:21 GMT -5
So, am I the only one eating my feelings here? I have toned up supremely for this man of mine three times in this marriage...like killed myself to be perfect so maybe he would want me. It didn't matter. Now I am tired of eating my feelings and need to get the frick up and do fitness for me. But being really fit increases my sexual needs, health does that. LOL That also makes life harder. It can make you insane, this sexless life. Absolutely - STAY FIT and REGULAR EXERCISE We must stay fit and healthy. Like will attract like. I make it a high priority to make time for fitness. Over the years I have run in half-marathons, small and medium Triathlons, weight lifting once a week, regular Martial Arts training. Why do I do this? Well I FEEL better. I do it for me. I do it for HOPE. If we let ourselves go - get fat and out of shape - do not care about our appearance . . . all can be lost. Mind and body healthy but more important than that is I need absolutely to have a Strong HEART -and I mean for courage not just for pumping blood. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 18, 2017 8:24:31 GMT -5
I hit the gym for the things exercise enables me to do that are difficult when I am not exercising. Flexibility especially. And burning up those excess stress hormones makes for a more relaxed and amenable worksforme2. I have an easier time initiating a conversation when I approach a woman I find attractive when I'm not so ginned up on the extra energy.
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Post by cagedtiger on Feb 18, 2017 11:41:45 GMT -5
I've learned it does not matter if I am fit or fat. It does not matter. I guess the first time I thought this would excite him because I'll look like I did. Nope. The second and third I tried training him in an effort to do something together. If I wasn't pushing him to do it, he didn't. Funny how that's exactly how sex is in our marriage. Sigh Going to the gym, feeling like myself, being able to center myself mentally and think clearly...it's been the times I've worked through most of my issues and decided on my course of action. From now on it'll be to help me connect with my best version of me again, and be ready to date again when the time comes. And maybe to find mates who are more on my own level activity and energy-level wise. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Feb 18, 2017 11:51:02 GMT -5
Your health is an important matter whether you are stuck in a version of hell, or on your way out, or once you get out.
DO IT - do it for you.
Vitality can help with confident outsourcing or with getting the gumption to make the big change to get yourself free.
Do it for you - YOU are worth it!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2017 12:51:28 GMT -5
While I am a big fan of the idea of staying fit if I may, , I want to say that women with a few extra pounds are very attractive. Call it a fetish or just healthy desire I particularly find post partum pounds attractive. Mummy's tummy...yummy;)
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Feb 18, 2017 13:27:04 GMT -5
While I am a big fan of the idea of staying fit if I may, , I want to say that women with a few extra pounds are very attractive. Call it a fetish or just healthy desire I particularly find post partum pounds attractive. Mummy's tummy...yummy;) That's interesting, because I personally think my postpartum tummy is gross and don't find them in general attractive. I know it's one of those mom shaming things "tiger stripes" or whatever, but boy oh boy they have forced me to convert to a one price suit for life. (I plan to surgically get rid of them when I'm sure I'm fine having kids) It's just loose and there is no amount of exercise that helps, and in fact I made my tummy worse by over exercising after baby was born. Bleh stupid |
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Post by richfairy72 on Feb 18, 2017 13:30:19 GMT -5
While I am a big fan of the idea of staying fit if I may, , I want to say that women with a few extra pounds are very attractive. Call it a fetish or just healthy desire I particularly find post partum pounds attractive. Mummy's tummy...yummy;) That's interesting, because I personally think my postpartum tummy is gross and don't find them in general attractive. I know it's one of those mom shaming things "tiger stripes" or whatever, but boy oh boy they have forced me to convert to a one price suit for life. (I plan to surgically get rid of them when I'm sure I'm fine having kids) It's just loose and there is no amount of exercise that helps, and in fact I made my tummy worse by over exercising after baby was born. Bleh stupid I feel the same mrslow. I think I look hideous, but it sounds like not everyone thinks so..... I'm sure you are fine, it's the rejection of a sm that makes us think so! |
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Post by shamwow on Feb 18, 2017 13:36:19 GMT -5
So, am I the only one eating my feelings here? I have toned up supremely for this man of mine three times in this marriage...like killed myself to be perfect so maybe he would want me. It didn't matter. Now I am tired of eating my feelings and need to get the frick up and do fitness for me. But being really fit increases my sexual needs, health does that. LOL That also makes life harder. It can make you insane, this sexless life. I'm down 45 pounds since last April. Same thing here. Have lost it, been ignored. put it back on due to injury, etc... This time i'm doingI it for myself. |
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Post by ggold on Feb 18, 2017 14:26:32 GMT -5
Okay so this thread got me motivated. I worked out just now. I do the Beachbody 21 Day Fix workouts with Autumn Calabrese. I've tried many dvd workouts only to quit. I really enjoy her workouts. I'll just try to cut back on my portions and limit the snacks to healthier options. Easier said than done, but I gained about 10lbs back over the winter and I'm unhappy about that. I'm also logging my workouts, etc. in a fitness planner. shamwow We can only do this for ourselves! Oh, and congrats to you on the weight loss!! You look great in your profile pic!! Keep it up! GG |
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