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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 3:35:49 GMT -5
.......addicted to the wisdom and advice and the many many stories shared here. When I log on and see no one's updated any threads in hours, I feel a kind of sadness   I like this place.......I like it a lot. Oh, and sex matters - I may be addicted to it as well (not porn - the real deal)! |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 4, 2017 3:50:47 GMT -5
Yes, me too "Addicted".
Everyone here is just got massive wisdom in these threads.
Now in terms of "Addiction" - I actually thought I was becoming a sex addict because of My Sexless Marriage. I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN what "in love" or "being in a loving relationship" was like.
Lust vs. Love - I had zero love in my couple for over 10 years - zero intimacy, zero cuddling, and of course zero sex. I know now that Sex is a part of the greater whole of a healthy loving couple.
Over the past month - since joining this forum - my eyes and heart are again wide open. I know now many of my friends (locally not just this Forum) who are in horrible SM situations - many many it is incredible. And too, I know a few who are actually in healthy strong loving relationships. So I see my suffering SM is not so unique and I see that real love - love that takes WORK and EFFORT no doubt to maintain by BOTH H and W is entirely possible.
So I am not hopeless and no one else is too unless I am dishonest and if I take no action. But no - I am being ruthlessly honest - and my part too of course - and taking action to get out of this SM and on to freedom and hope.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 4, 2017 6:08:05 GMT -5
Lol I must confess to similar but given time zones and where I live, there is usually something new in the SM shithole
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 6:20:16 GMT -5
"Why's Men Say"
by Elviliasm Shitholesley
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Post by eternaloptimism on Feb 4, 2017 6:23:08 GMT -5
I like it when it's quiet in here sometimes.
I can get a bit overwhelmed when there is a lot of new stuff. I always want to read everything and speak wise words. But I never have the time to read everything, and I don't often have wisdom when I do read something.
So sometimes this place makes me feel a bit shitty. Like I'm failing at being a good member.
I do feel all the pain here though. Deeply.
I always wish I had more time. Like if this place was my job I'd be all over it arranging people's exits for them and setting up their new lives for them... it's funny, i know I'd excel at doing that for other people... but still haven't done it for myself have I?!!!!!
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Post by eternaloptimism on Feb 4, 2017 6:24:00 GMT -5
"Why's Men Say" by Elviliasm Shitholesley WTF BK?? Ha ha ha. |
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 6:51:03 GMT -5
I like it when it's quiet in here sometimes. I can get a bit overwhelmed when there is a lot of new stuff. I always want to read everything and speak wise words. But I never have the time to read everything, and I don't often have wisdom when I do read something. So sometimes this place makes me feel a bit shitty. Like I'm failing at being a good member. I do feel all the pain here though. Deeply. I always wish I had more time. Like if this place was my job I'd be all over it arranging people's exits for them and setting up their new lives for them... it's funny, i know I'd excel at doing that for other people... but still haven't done it for myself have I?!!!!! DUDE! You are a truly beloved member here! I'm sure I'm not alone in looking forward to reading your posts! |
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Post by tamara68 on Feb 4, 2017 6:52:53 GMT -5
I like it when it's quiet in here sometimes. I can get a bit overwhelmed when there is a lot of new stuff. I always want to read everything and speak wise words. But I never have the time to read everything, and I don't often have wisdom when I do read something. So sometimes this place makes me feel a bit shitty. Like I'm failing at being a good member. I do feel all the pain here though. Deeply. I always wish I had more time. Like if this place was my job I'd be all over it arranging people's exits for them and setting up their new lives for them... it's funny, i know I'd excel at doing that for other people... but still haven't done it for myself have I?!!!!! That is funny, I feel more or less the same. It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of members here recognize that. I fantasized about safe havens for iliasm refugees lol. And about you not having arranged your own exit yet, you are too hard on yourself. You can't expect to do an exit in a min. It takes time to get ready for the jump and to prepare for it. You are doing that. You have made more steps toward an exit than you think. You will get there. No doubt about that! |
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Post by nancyb on Feb 4, 2017 7:41:46 GMT -5
Reading the posts here have helped to understand and take action regarding my SM. But it wasn't really me who asked for the divorce so not sure my exit strategy was really implemented. I found this site and was facing a divorce less than 10 hours later. I don't post a lot many because 1. I haven't the time and 2. I so often feel I haven't anything to add to the previous discussion.  I do try to read as much as I can and certainly send out heartfelt wishes to all who are suffering. |
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Post by shamwow on Feb 4, 2017 8:39:57 GMT -5
Reading the posts here have helped to understand and take action regarding my SM. But it wasn't really me who asked for the divorce so not sure my exit strategy was really implemented. I found this site and was facing a divorce less than 10 hours later. I don't post a lot many because 1. I haven't the time and 2. I so often feel I haven't anything to add to the previous discussion. I do try to read as much as I can and certainly send out heartfelt wishes to all who are suffering. Nancy, even if "all" you have to add is agreement with someone's point, the value of this site is strength through solidarity. You have no idea how often just knowing I'm not the only one going through this shithole has pulled me back up to "functioning" status. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Feb 4, 2017 8:42:22 GMT -5
I like it when it's quiet in here sometimes. I can get a bit overwhelmed when there is a lot of new stuff. I always want to read everything and speak wise words. But I never have the time to read everything, and I don't often have wisdom when I do read something. So sometimes this place makes me feel a bit shitty. Like I'm failing at being a good member. I do feel all the pain here though. Deeply. I always wish I had more time. Like if this place was my job I'd be all over it arranging people's exits for them and setting up their new lives for them... it's funny, i know I'd excel at doing that for other people... but still haven't done it for myself have I?!!!!! DUDE! You are a truly beloved member here! I'm sure I'm not alone in looking forward to reading your posts! Thank you dear 😘Xx |
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 9:23:46 GMT -5
Reading the posts here have helped to understand and take action regarding my SM. But it wasn't really me who asked for the divorce so not sure my exit strategy was really implemented. I found this site and was facing a divorce less than 10 hours later. I don't post a lot many because 1. I haven't the time and 2. I so often feel I haven't anything to add to the previous discussion. I do try to read as much as I can and certainly send out heartfelt wishes to all who are suffering. You rock the forums, nancyb! Always lovely to see you here! |
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 4, 2017 9:48:13 GMT -5
I'm out of my SM. Been living on my own for over a year now. I still haven't found love and I'm not sure if I ever will but I have found sex and a type of connection.
I can say that I'm addicted to this place too.
It's in my nature to want to help people, I'm an ESFJ - the helper.
So I feel a need to stay in this group despite not being in a SM anymore.
I also think I give good firm advice but in a gentle way, it would never be my intention to make someone feel bad.
Sometimes I see my ex, and I get sad about how things turned out. Sometimes I still wish things could have been different but I know he didn't want me. So this place helps to reinforce for me why I left and that I made the right decision for me. This place still helps me too.
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Post by rejected101 on Feb 4, 2017 10:55:35 GMT -5
I think that the people on this forum have the best analogies of the problems a SM creates, the best stories and ultimately everyone takes solace in finding people who share the same or at least similar problems. I have a really good marriage in general apart from how lacking the sex has been. I'm therefore somewhat different to many on here but I still feel I deserve to post my views and doing so brings a little inner peace.
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Post by ggold on Feb 4, 2017 13:20:02 GMT -5
I'm out of my SM. Been living on my own for over a year now. I still haven't found love and I'm not sure if I ever will but I have found sex and a type of connection. I can say that I'm addicted to this place too. It's in my nature to want to help people, I'm an ESFJ - the helper. So I feel a need to stay in this group despite not being in a SM anymore. I also think I give good firm advice but in a gentle way, it would never be my intention to make someone feel bad. Sometimes I see my ex, and I get sad about how things turned out. Sometimes I still wish things could have been different but I know he didn't want me. So this place helps to reinforce for me why I left and that I made the right decision for me. This place still helps me too. Love you girl!! You have absolutely helped me and continue to do so!! |
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I do try to read as much as I can and certainly send out heartfelt wishes to all who are suffering.
