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Post by beachguy on Jan 3, 2017 11:50:02 GMT -5
Everyone remember the Doomsday Clock from the Cold War?
I think those still in their SM's need a Doomsday Clock, hanging on the wall in the bedroom. Each rejection results in the clock being advanced one hour. It would be understood that if the clock reaches midnight, divorce ensues.
I think our refusers should be every bit as uncomfortable as we are.
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Post by csl on Jan 3, 2017 12:12:15 GMT -5
Everyone remember the Doomsday Clock from the COld War? I think those still in their SM's need a Doomsday Clock, hanging on the wall in the bedroom. Each rejection results in the clock being advanced one hour. It would be understood that if the clock reaches midnight, divorce ensues. I think our refusers should be every bit as uncomfortable as we are. I wrote about putting refusers " on the clock." The trick is to mean it, and not have it be a bluff. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jan 3, 2017 12:18:01 GMT -5
I've actually used that as a shorthand status update for my support network. Quick, easy easy to let them know when the shit's about to hit the fan.
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Post by beachguy on Jan 3, 2017 12:26:28 GMT -5
I've actually used that as a shorthand status update for my support network. Quick, easy easy to let them know when the shit's about to hit the fan. The clock is not for your support network, it's for your spouse. At least my version. I think spouses should see the clock ticking as it ticks away to eventual divorce. There is one common denominator here, our spouses are very smug in the idea that they don't have to have sex or intimacy with us, and other than an occasional argument that they always win (by virtue of us not walking out the door right then and there) they suffer no consequences. They are happy, they aren't stressed out like us. They should share that stress equally, and it should grow and grow until the clock strikes midnight and the nuke is fired, as promised. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 3, 2017 12:29:24 GMT -5
As I recall the clock only had 15 minutes from the start point until doomsday was reached. The clock was occasionally moved away from the 12 o'clock times up point(reset sex). If we subtracted 1 minute for each refusal most of our marriages would have blown up in the 1st 3 months, 6 months tops.
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Post by csl on Jan 3, 2017 12:43:25 GMT -5
As I recall the clock only had 15 minutes from the start point until doomsday was reached. The clock was occasionally moved away from the 12 o'clock times up point(reset sex). If we subtracted 1 minute for each refusal most of our marriages would have blown up in the 1st 3 months, 6 months tops. Time to buy a new clock? |
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Post by beachguy on Jan 3, 2017 12:50:09 GMT -5
As I recall the clock only had 15 minutes from the start point until doomsday was reached. The clock was occasionally moved away from the 12 o'clock times up point(reset sex). If we subtracted 1 minute for each refusal most of our marriages would have blown up in the 1st 3 months, 6 months tops. We are all free to pick our own procedure here. The important thing is that clock, hanging on the bedroom wall, ticking away at whatever rate you chose. That clock is the only power you have in an SM. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jan 3, 2017 13:16:29 GMT -5
I've actually used that as a shorthand status update for my support network. Quick, easy easy to let them know when the shit's about to hit the fan. The clock is not for your support network, it's for your spouse. At least my version. I think spouses should see the clock ticking as it ticks away to eventual divorce. There is one common denominator here, our spouses are very smug in the idea that they don't have to have sex or intimacy with us, and other than an occasional argument that they always win (by virtue of us not walking out the door right then and there) they suffer no consequences. They are happy, they aren't stressed out like us. They should share that stress equally, and it should grow and grow until the clock strikes midnight and the nuke is fired, as promised. That would go over very, very badly. She still plays the "you're attacking me/ keeping a score on me" card pretty much any time I raise any issues that I'm having with her or in the relationship. Then she shuts down, starts crying, or otherwise brings any real talk to a grinding halt. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 3, 2017 13:22:48 GMT -5
Everyone remember the Doomsday Clock from the Cold War? I think those still in their SM's need a Doomsday Clock, hanging on the wall in the bedroom. Each rejection results in the clock being advanced one hour. It would be understood that if the clock reaches midnight, divorce ensues. I think our refusers should be every bit as uncomfortable as we are. Its a good word picture, however my thoughts are that there is going to be several clocks. The first was leading up to the divorce. The second is going through the divorce. The third is overcoming the life long harassment that can occur from a crazy after the divorce. Every minute, every second on that clock are boundaries, enforcing those boundaries, and finding your own joy by taking your life back. |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 3, 2017 13:39:32 GMT -5
The clock is not for your support network, it's for your spouse. At least my version. I think spouses should see the clock ticking as it ticks away to eventual divorce. There is one common denominator here, our spouses are very smug in the idea that they don't have to have sex or intimacy with us, and other than an occasional argument that they always win (by virtue of us not walking out the door right then and there) they suffer no consequences. They are happy, they aren't stressed out like us. They should share that stress equally, and it should grow and grow until the clock strikes midnight and the nuke is fired, as promised. That would go over very, very badly. She still plays the "you're attacking me/ keeping a score on me" card pretty much any time I raise any issues that I'm having with her or in the relationship. Then she shuts down, starts crying, or otherwise brings any real talk to a grinding halt. Just like magic, isn't it? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 3, 2017 13:44:44 GMT -5
The clock is not for your support network, it's for your spouse. At least my version. I think spouses should see the clock ticking as it ticks away to eventual divorce. There is one common denominator here, our spouses are very smug in the idea that they don't have to have sex or intimacy with us, and other than an occasional argument that they always win (by virtue of us not walking out the door right then and there) they suffer no consequences. They are happy, they aren't stressed out like us. They should share that stress equally, and it should grow and grow until the clock strikes midnight and the nuke is fired, as promised. That would go over very, very badly. She still plays the "you're attacking me/ keeping a score on me" card pretty much any time I raise any issues that I'm having with her or in the relationship. Then she shuts down, starts crying, or otherwise brings any real talk to a grinding halt. Friend , I'm sorry to say this, but, read that over, several times, what does it tell you? It says that she is manipulating you, distorting truth and facts, to fit her emotions. What does that do to you? It puts you in a no win situation one after the next, by STBX. You have developed a sense of learned helplessness, or the belief that nothing you do or say will be effective, so why bother? You give up and let STBX run amok. STBX maintains her power by wearing you, the victim, down into a complacent doormat over time. She has now reached a stage that she doesn't have to accept anything. Get ready for that after the papers are served too. You are seeing that anytime you call her on her crap she is going to continue to accuse you of "victimizing " her. Say goodbye to crazy as much as possible, less communication is more. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 3, 2017 13:52:22 GMT -5
Back on EP you and I discussed my hour glass analogy. Well when I moved out I bought an hourglass for my bedroom. Your post made me think of that. I think your clock is a great idea! I guess if I ever get into a serious ltr again I won't have a clock on the wall but it will be made clear that when they lose interest in my pussy I will lose interest in them. At this age and I'm less than five years from 50, I don't have time for bullshit. Life for me in my future is all about enjoyment, pleasure and good health habits. Great post beachguy |
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Post by beachguy on Jan 3, 2017 13:55:03 GMT -5
The clock is not for your support network, it's for your spouse. At least my version. I think spouses should see the clock ticking as it ticks away to eventual divorce. There is one common denominator here, our spouses are very smug in the idea that they don't have to have sex or intimacy with us, and other than an occasional argument that they always win (by virtue of us not walking out the door right then and there) they suffer no consequences. They are happy, they aren't stressed out like us. They should share that stress equally, and it should grow and grow until the clock strikes midnight and the nuke is fired, as promised. That would go over very, very badly. She still plays the "you're attacking me/ keeping a score on me" card pretty much any time I raise any issues that I'm having with her or in the relationship. Then she shuts down, starts crying, or otherwise brings any real talk to a grinding halt. You so need to Get.Out.Now. And you will, when you stop insisting that she validate your unmet needs. She obviously never will, and that has been her strategy. I hope you figure this out, sooner than later. If the clock precipitated a meltdown then it would serve its purpose. But you have to be willing to just leave, without her permission. |
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Post by beachguy on Jan 3, 2017 14:01:27 GMT -5
Btw, cagedtiger, early last month you said you were leaving but just waiting for a polite time to do so - after the holidays. In the interim your wife has made it abundantly clear that you have no other option. It's January. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jan 3, 2017 14:38:22 GMT -5
Btw, cagedtiger, early last month you said you were leaving but just waiting for a polite time to do so - after the holidays. In the interim your wife has made it abundantly clear that you have no other option. It's January. And I've been calling to set up consults with lawyers and meeting with my ministers this week. More in my thread later. |
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