Post by mirrororchid on Oct 17, 2024 5:41:14 GMT -5
...I found out his sex drive is exactly the same as mine. But, plot twist: he uses all that drive on porn. Meanwhile, I’m over here like a monk—celibate for months at a time—because, while he gets his to porn, porn just doesn’t do it for me. I need a real-life flesh-and-blood human to touch! It’s like he’s got a never-ending Netflix subscription to 'Orgasm On Demand,' and I’m stuck with reruns of 'Lonely Untouched Wife'—the world’s most boring show.
It’s honestly the most confusing thing. Like, why sign up for the physical part of marriage and then decide you’d rather binge-watch virtual strangers instead of, you know, actually participating? I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been rejected, and the thing that really fries my circuits? He got to make that decision for both of us! Like, I’m over here expected to be monogamous while he’s in some weird, one-sided open relationship with porn (and possibly OnlyFans—still investigating that one).
Thanks for the warm welcome, though. Never thought I’d end up here, but it’s good to know I’m not alone in this twisted ‘club membership’ no one asked for. m76 Did yours bait & switch you, too (used to be interested in physical affection, but not anymore)? How do you cope with it all?
Two ILIASM members who solved their sexlessness that might be of interest are lanie & jerri.
Lanie was able to persuade her fella that his companionship was badly needed and he saw the light and his responsibility to her. Seems to e pretty good over a year later.
Jerri has arranged for an open marriage and provides the home life her husband wants, supplementing hers.
A number of the ladies have had affairs, commonly leaving their refusing husbands thereafter.
A recurring theme you'll see are the three choices:
1) Stay and accept.
2) Stay and outsource (affairs or open marriage)
3) Leave.
We've seen all three. You'll find support wherever you post.
The Forum "Choosing to Stay" is a place where members are asked to refrain from encouraging option #3, if you don't want to even discuss it.
Starting your own thread can allow you to share details and members can ask questions about specifics. Conversations can get lost on this introductions page and you may benefit form having some individual focus on your particular case.
As an opening volley, I'd wonder whether Mr. Deniedvixen realizes he may not be interested in real life intimacy because his hormone levels do not reach the threshold necessary to trigger physical desire. You're offering a steakhouse dinner, but he's eating a burger and fries every hour. He's not hungry so he doesn't get why he'd want to build an appetite. Being hungry is bad, right? If you know dinner hour is nigh, hunger can be an exciting thing. Perhaps he's not let himself experience that? Perhaps he'd be willing to try.
Some refusing husbands' porn collections have unusual kinks to them and it evolves into a fetish where female bodies, alone, do not excite him well. Temporary abstinence and deliberate skin hunger might break the spell there too. Some kink enthusiasts get trapped in such patterns, habituate to them, then need increasingly intense examples that delve into levels that can be disturbing to the uninitiated. He may wish to draw back from the cliff, or he may be over the cliff and terrified you'll find out.
Or it's something else, which is why your own thread would stop some verbose well wishers from rambling endlessly.
Welcome, and sorry you're here.