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Post by shamwow on Dec 26, 2016 22:17:20 GMT -5
I'm on a modified paleo now and took a few days off to enjoy the awesome holiday fare my family always cooks (decidedly non paleo).
Sometimes it is hard to get back on the wagon but the only way it works is if you have a deeply internalized reason for why you are doing it. It sounds like your wife doesn't and more the loss for her, but it is her decision in the end.
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 27, 2016 0:58:15 GMT -5
I'm on a modified paleo now and took a few days off to enjoy the awesome holiday fare my family always cooks (decidedly non paleo). Sometimes it is hard to get back on the wagon but the only way it works is if you have a deeply internalized reason for why you are doing it. It sounds like your wife doesn't and more the loss for her, but it is her decision in the end. Thus far, her main motivation has been, "we're paying for it, so I'll do it." That's her motivation for a lot of things. At least, at first. It's been a hard lesson for me that I can't be the one to provide the motivation. But I'm starting to get it. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Dec 27, 2016 3:59:34 GMT -5
So, the wife and I have been doing this diet together the last few months- tested for food sensitivities, then supplements and a diet of lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables, no dairy and no grain for two months to reset metabolism. No problem for me- I've spent long periods of time eating Paleo or close to it when i was in training, so it hasn't taken much of an adaptation for me. The wife, however, was terrified at the prospect of quitting the fast food and junk food cold turkey. She's been very, very good for the majority of the diet, and I've been proud of her as she's started seeing results. Fast forward to this weekend. We both went a bit off the reservation for the weekend, but both talked about how much we were looking forward to getting back into the good habits when we got back. This evening, an hour from home: Wife: do you want to get pizza for dinner? Me: uhhhh. No. No I don't. I told you I'm really looking forward to getting back on track. Wife: (obviously disappointed) oh. Well I'm still going to get pizza. Me: I'm going to get a salad and grilled chicken breast from [place A]. Wife: ok, i ordered two pizzas from [place A] and garlic knots and cheese bread from [place B]. Can you pick those up while you're getting your salad? At this point I'm not even mad any more, or disappointed. I'm just chalking it up to differences in attitude and priorities between us. Just more things for the "why I'm leaving" speech, and more things to add to the list of important things for the next ones. I think my fiancé would adore your wife |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 27, 2016 10:09:38 GMT -5
So, the wife and I have been doing this diet together the last few months- tested for food sensitivities, then supplements and a diet of lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables, no dairy and no grain for two months to reset metabolism. No problem for me- I've spent long periods of time eating Paleo or close to it when i was in training, so it hasn't taken much of an adaptation for me. The wife, however, was terrified at the prospect of quitting the fast food and junk food cold turkey. She's been very, very good for the majority of the diet, and I've been proud of her as she's started seeing results. Fast forward to this weekend. We both went a bit off the reservation for the weekend, but both talked about how much we were looking forward to getting back into the good habits when we got back. This evening, an hour from home: Wife: do you want to get pizza for dinner? Me: uhhhh. No. No I don't. I told you I'm really looking forward to getting back on track. Wife: (obviously disappointed) oh. Well I'm still going to get pizza. Me: I'm going to get a salad and grilled chicken breast from [place A]. Wife: ok, i ordered two pizzas from [place A] and garlic knots and cheese bread from [place B]. Can you pick those up while you're getting your salad? At this point I'm not even mad any more, or disappointed. I'm just chalking it up to differences in attitude and priorities between us. Just more things for the "why I'm leaving" speech, and more things to add to the list of important things for the next ones. I think my fiancé would adore your wife Does he like all the Real Housewife shows, All the Teen Mom shows, and America's Next Top Model? |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Dec 27, 2016 10:52:38 GMT -5
I think my fiancé would adore your wife Does he like all the Real Housewife shows, All the Teen Mom shows, and America's Next Top Model? Oh dear. No. Sorry. Football, darts, antiques shows or reruns of 70's and 80's British comedies only for him. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 27, 2016 10:57:18 GMT -5
Does he like all the Real Housewife shows, All the Teen Mom shows, and America's Next Top Model? Oh dear. No. Sorry. Football, darts, antiques shows or reruns of 70's and 80's British comedies only for him. ...people watch darts on TV? Instead of being out at the pub drinking a beer, talking shit and playing darts with another human being? |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Dec 27, 2016 11:59:50 GMT -5
Oh dear. No. Sorry. Football, darts, antiques shows or reruns of 70's and 80's British comedies only for him. ...people watch darts on TV? Instead of being out at the pub drinking a beer, talking shit and playing darts with another human being? I know. Crazy. Sexless moron he is. My patience is wearing very thin at the moment! |
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Post by shamwow on Dec 27, 2016 13:21:20 GMT -5
...people watch darts on TV? Instead of being out at the pub drinking a beer, talking shit and playing darts with another human being? I know. Crazy. Sexless moron he is. My patience is wearing very thin at the moment! Perhaps you should play a nice game of 501 on his ass... |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Dec 27, 2016 14:40:05 GMT -5
I know. Crazy. Sexless moron he is. My patience is wearing very thin at the moment! Perhaps you should play a nice game of 501 on his ass... I never considered that! We do actually have a board...not that I'll need it...and plenty darts! im gonna get those under bed straps, secure him face down, and have my way mwah ha haaaaaa |
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 27, 2016 15:54:56 GMT -5
My spouse has yet to udder these words, "You expect me to look like the 25 yr old woman you first met, that's not gonna' happen'", but I wouldn't be surprised if it's her refuser logic.
Not that I have ever made any comments like that to her, or spoken derogatory things about her size,to people we both know.
Do I look older than I did 25 yrs. ago? Oh yea! The wrinkles are there and my forehead keeps growing. It's not my fault that I was blessed with a high metabolism. Over the last year I schedule my day around my morning workouts. I plan on continuing that for years to come. It's a great feeling to work out with the college crowd. While I see plenty of other woman my age working out right beside us.
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 27, 2016 16:11:00 GMT -5
Over the last year I schedule my day around my morning workouts. I plan on continuing that for years to come. It's a great feeling to work out with the college crowd. While I see plenty of other woman my age working out right beside us. I call that "incentive." |
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 27, 2016 16:33:27 GMT -5
Perhaps you should play a nice game of 501 on his ass... I never considered that! We do actually have a board...not that I'll need it...and plenty darts! im gonna get those under bed straps, secure him face down, and have my way mwah ha haaaaaa Peed myself laughing! 😂 |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 27, 2016 17:50:50 GMT -5
So, the wife and I have been doing this diet together the last few months- tested for food sensitivities, then supplements and a diet of lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables, no dairy and no grain for two months to reset metabolism. No problem for me- I've spent long periods of time eating Paleo or close to it when i was in training, so it hasn't taken much of an adaptation for me. The wife, however, was terrified at the prospect of quitting the fast food and junk food cold turkey. She's been very, very good for the majority of the diet, and I've been proud of her as she's started seeing results. Fast forward to this weekend. We both went a bit off the reservation for the weekend, but both talked about how much we were looking forward to getting back into the good habits when we got back. This evening, an hour from home: Wife: do you want to get pizza for dinner? Me: uhhhh. No. No I don't. I told you I'm really looking forward to getting back on track. Wife: (obviously disappointed) oh. Well I'm still going to get pizza. Me: I'm going to get a salad and grilled chicken breast from [place A]. Wife: ok, i ordered two pizzas from [place A] and garlic knots and cheese bread from [place B]. Can you pick those up while you're getting your salad? At this point I'm not even mad any more, or disappointed. I'm just chalking it up to differences in attitude and priorities between us. Just more things for the "why I'm leaving" speech, and more things to add to the list of important things for the next ones. 😲 that's a lot of FOOD! I can barely eat two pieces of pizza - and eating pizza is a treat for me. Well, that's the thing. If past history is any indication, she ate maybe 4 pieces of pizza total, plus maybe five garlic knots and a handful of the bread sticks. The rest will stay in the boxes in the fridge, or in extremely unlikely circumstances, she actually remembered to put them in the fridge before she went to bed (she cleared out just enough space in the living room to sleep on the couch), but i doubt it. And she'll let them sit on the counter until i get home and put them in the fridge. They'll sit in the fridge the next several days until i throw the whole lot away. She won't eat any more of it tonight, since she's already texted and asked if i can bring dinner on my way home from the gym. |
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Post by baza on Dec 28, 2016 0:35:47 GMT -5
What are your thoughts on spouses maintaining their physical self in a marriage? Does their physical appearance play a role in being attractive to them sexually? I've always kept up my self and I have not let myself go in our marriage. Being healthy is important to me. I do believe both of us should keep a desirable weight for each other. My H has gained a lot of weight, doesn't eat healthy and does no exercise at all. I'm just not attractive to him and feel bad 😔 about it. I did marry him in sickness and health..... My thoughts are are pretty much in accord with yours, as far as - "I've always kept up my self and I have not let myself go in our marriage" goes. But it doesn't follow that my missus back in the day followed the same line of thinking. In fact, she didn't share this view at all. - My choice was ok for me. Her choice was ok for her. - She couldn't control my choice. I couldn't control her choice. - Like numerous issues in our deal, our views were poles apart. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 28, 2016 8:23:26 GMT -5
Well, that's the thing. If past history is any indication, she ate maybe 4 pieces of pizza total, plus maybe five garlic knots and a handful of the bread sticks. The rest will stay in the boxes in the fridge, or in extremely unlikely circumstances, she actually remembered to put them in the fridge before she went to bed (she cleared out just enough space in the living room to sleep on the couch), but i doubt it. And she'll let them sit on the counter until i get home and put them in the fridge. They'll sit in the fridge the next several days until i throw the whole lot away. She won't eat any more of it tonight, since she's already texted and asked if i can bring dinner on my way home from the gym. Sweet Man - you deserve better than that. Makes me sad for you. Thank you. And this is why I'm getting my ducks in a row to leave. In an amusing plot twist, she did in fact leave the pizza out on the stove top, and her 14 year old dog somehow knocked it off and ate all the rest. But I'm still betting I'll be throwing away breadsticks over the weekend. |
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