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Post by Rhapsodee on Dec 23, 2016 16:41:09 GMT -5
I too have maintained a healthy weight and fitness level. I do it for myself. It's doesnt matter that he is not interested in sex with me. When i was working to bring sex back into our marriage, it stressed him out so much he gained 60 pounds. When I backed off, he became interested in his appearance. He started walking and counting calories and lost the weight. He looked really really good. I wasn't going to go backward and start begging for sex, so it never happened.
He told me once that plump women were more pleasant to have sex with because there is more "padding" against the bones. I am slim but definitely not boney. Right, like I'm going to gain weight so he might want to have sex with me. Humph!
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Post by JonDoe on Dec 23, 2016 16:50:07 GMT -5
I too have maintained a healthy weight and fitness level. I do it for myself. It's doesnt matter that he is not interested in sex with me. When i was working to bring sex back into our marriage, it stressed him out so much he gained 60 pounds. When I backed off, he became interested in his appearance. He started walking and counting calories and lost the weight. He looked really really good. I wasn't going to go backward and start begging for sex, so it never happened. Sometimes it seems so much easier if two similar, but opposite SM couples could agree to a wife swap. |
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Post by solodriver on Dec 23, 2016 16:51:53 GMT -5
I try to take care of myself, but my motivation is for a different reason. Since my wife no longer has any interest in sex and I'm not begging for it, I want to be ready for someone who may want to have a relationship with me, and that may not happen if my health is poor.
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Post by shamwow on Dec 23, 2016 19:03:07 GMT -5
Geek goddess ,
My knees are shot too. Last marathon i did was about 2 years ago and i just showed up and drank beer. I tied my personal best of 12 beers. I did, of course, finish the race... In last place lol
I find it is more important to have a GOOD time than a good TIME. Change the emphasis and that changes eeverything else.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2016 20:25:58 GMT -5
bballgirl - Not really that great that I'm dating a guy. I'm just not into him. I've been trying to force myself, but my feelings just won't cooperate. So I will probably have to break up with him after the holidays. FML. shamwow - "Deliciously bad" - a man who can make me feel like a naughty kid getting away with something. Someone with whom I feel mischievous and somewhat smart-assed. Someone who mocks the same things I mock. All this - plus sexual attraction.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Dec 23, 2016 20:48:17 GMT -5
@smartkat. Dating! Hooray for you!
And wtf is "deliciously bad"? Please spill. I want to live vicariously.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Dec 23, 2016 21:04:39 GMT -5
JMX. My best friends daughter told us that this is the year of the butt. Hooray! My bubble butt is in style! Round. If it's round it's good.
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 23, 2016 21:11:12 GMT -5
JMX. My best friends daughter told us that this is the year of the butt. Hooray! My bubble butt is in style! Round. If it's round it's good. Whatever you got, flaunt it! ;-) No sense being self-conscious about ourselves... there's somebody for everybody. |
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Post by solodriver on Dec 24, 2016 0:26:52 GMT -5
JMX . My best friends daughter told us that this is the year of the butt. Hooray! My bubble butt is in style! Round. If it's round it's good. Oh good. I've been flattered by a few women that said I have a nice butt. Now I know why, lol.
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Post by solodriver on Dec 24, 2016 0:38:49 GMT -5
It never mattered to me the weight of my ex. I was in love with him and I wanted him and he was 250-280 during our courting and marriage. I am also overweight. I have been my entire life BUT I do exercise and try to be active. I guess it mattered to him and he didn't find me attractive for sex but to cook his meals and clean the house I was pretty enough. It's amazing what our refusers find "attractive" about us and it's not sex.
Well their loss, because when I find someone who is attracted to me for sex, I plan to rock her world.
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Post by solodriver on Dec 24, 2016 1:01:20 GMT -5
JMX . My best friends daughter told us that this is the year of the butt. Hooray! My bubble butt is in style! Round. If it's round it's good. Been told I have a heart ❤️ shape ass. A couple of times. Whatever that means! Lexus, it's a very good thing (err butt)  |
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Post by shamwow on Dec 24, 2016 8:31:52 GMT -5
The only thing bigger than my heart is my ass...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2016 17:57:53 GMT -5
I hope everyone is having a good Christmas Eve. I've been so busy this month and have not checked in a while.
I keep myself in shape and enjoy a woman who stays in shape. I've always been attracted to athletic women. I have a weakness for women who were gymnast. It seems like most of the girls I dated were dancers or gymnasts. I did not know it when I met them but found out later. I like women who are curvy but in shape. Usually dancers and gymnasts have great asses and legs. I was never much of a boob man but still like them. I'm more attracted to proportions than one defining feature in a woman.
Now, that my wife and I have started having sex again, she has begun to exercise more. I noticed this topic in sex sub forum. When I met her, she exercised everyday. Maybe it has something to do with her having more testosterone from having sex. I'm not sure.
I find it attractive when my wife stays fit for me. At the same time, I keep myself nice for my wife, at least as nice as I can for my age.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2016 18:57:34 GMT -5
LEXUS46, I agree, self-care is absolutely essential. And it doesn't stop at physical self-care. Not only should both partners do their best to at least maintain the level of health and fitness they came into the marriage with, they should also be on a personal growth journey, constantly trying to better understand themselves, others, and life in general. I'll never again get involved with someone who doesn't take care of their body or mind or spirit at least as well as I take care of mine. This includes avoiding men with addictions, like alcohol, TV, porn or video games. No thank you! I believe we can only love and respect others as much as we love and respect ourselves. If someone is anesthetizing themselves with alcohol every night, how well are they caring for themselves and how could they possibly be expected to care for me? If a man can't make time to exercise and be fit for himself? Because it feels good to be fit? How on earth will I ever convince him to do these things with me? For me? Not gonna happen. It's like itsjustus said recently, "I'll take care of me for you if you take care of you for me." And... "The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development." Amen!
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 26, 2016 21:50:02 GMT -5
So, the wife and I have been doing this diet together the last few months- tested for food sensitivities, then supplements and a diet of lean meats, nuts, fruits, and vegetables, no dairy and no grain for two months to reset metabolism. No problem for me- I've spent long periods of time eating Paleo or close to it when i was in training, so it hasn't taken much of an adaptation for me. The wife, however, was terrified at the prospect of quitting the fast food and junk food cold turkey. She's been very, very good for the majority of the diet, and I've been proud of her as she's started seeing results.
Fast forward to this weekend. We both went a bit off the reservation for the weekend, but both talked about how much we were looking forward to getting back into the good habits when we got back. This evening, an hour from home:
Wife: do you want to get pizza for dinner?
Me: uhhhh. No. No I don't. I told you I'm really looking forward to getting back on track.
Wife: (obviously disappointed) oh. Well I'm still going to get pizza.
Me: I'm going to get a salad and grilled chicken breast from [place A].
Wife: ok, i ordered two pizzas from [place A] and garlic knots and cheese bread from [place B]. Can you pick those up while you're getting your salad?
At this point I'm not even mad any more, or disappointed. I'm just chalking it up to differences in attitude and priorities between us. Just more things for the "why I'm leaving" speech, and more things to add to the list of important things for the next ones.
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