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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 13, 2016 15:44:33 GMT -5
What had freaked me out the worst was the way that I no longer recognized my own self. I was a carefree spirit - that is the essential "me" in this life. I was so driven by fear: about money, about his temper tantrums, about my ability to speak for myself, fear that I was as stupid as he treated me, that I was secretly as irresponsible as he thought I was, that I was "broken" -- - well, I was broken, but not in the way that he thought. When I went to the first therapist last year and found how she perceived me: capable, smart, totally valid in wanting to feel cherished. She said she knew I could make my life whatever I hoped to. And then I remembered when I had believed that so long ago. Losing ME had me the most freaked out. Oh, you nailed it. My friends realized it before me, and after i came to the same realization it really made a lot of things more clear. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 13, 2016 15:45:11 GMT -5
Beachguy crosses off bballgirl from his potential date list... You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. |
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Post by beachguy on Dec 13, 2016 15:48:47 GMT -5
Beachguy crosses off bballgirl from his potential date list... You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. I'm sorry but she's simply too dangerous. (And bbg knows I say that with much affection) |
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Post by ggold on Dec 13, 2016 15:51:15 GMT -5
Good observation. My STBX knew exactly what he was doing. Public vs personal persona. But the number one thing that freaked me out and devastated me at the same time. Finding a 'Fleshlight' masturbatory toy hidden in the basement. What more is there to say? nancyb, I had to google 'fleshlight'........I'm glad I'm naive. I hope you go supersonic on out of that marriage of yours. You don't need that shit. I was curious and had to Google as well. Holy shit!! Just wrong!!! |
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Post by becca on Dec 13, 2016 16:05:40 GMT -5
My STBX would always act loving and flirtatious when we were out in public. Women especially told me how lucky I was to be married to him. No one except me knew he was an iceman when it came to sexual intimacy with me at home. Oh and I am starting over in my early 50's too JD. Same here! Drove me crazy. When we were out he would slap me on the rear end, nibble on my ear, hold hands, play footsie under the table and make innuendo constantly. More than once someone asked if we were newlyweds. Like some insane person, I played my part for years. Of course we would get home and the most I would get was a kiss on the cheek. The emotional abuse of that situation is hard to put into words. |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 16:15:31 GMT -5
No no, he would see that! I'm more diabolical than that. A thin drizzle of Super Glue to match the thin drizzle of his masturbatory output..........or drool............I think I'm gonna hurl I like the way you think. Ooh! Juice poison ivy leaves, I swear it popped into my head 5 seconds ago |
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Post by dancingbear70 on Dec 13, 2016 16:21:06 GMT -5
Beachguy crosses off bballgirl from his potential date list... You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. - Dude. I'm worried about your fight or flight response! |
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Post by thebaffledking on Dec 13, 2016 16:23:20 GMT -5
A thin drizzle of Super Glue to match the thin drizzle of his masturbatory output..........or drool............I think I'm gonna hurl I like the way you think. Ooh! Juice poison ivy leaves, I swear it popped into my head 5 seconds ago Apply a dozen leeches while he sleeps! Better yet, would it be possible to tuck a live rattlesnake inside? |
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Post by baza on Dec 13, 2016 16:24:20 GMT -5
The biggest "freak out" I had was in about September 2005.
After about 4 years of joint counselling and suchlike, I took stock of where "I" was, where I reckoned "she" was, and where I reckoned "we" were, and realised things had not improved at all - and in fact had deteriorated - and I was still there !!!!!!
It spun me right out.
Now, unbeknown to me, this was to remain the case until October 2009 (when I left) but the start of the "wake up" process started with that Sep 2005 freak out.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 16:27:15 GMT -5
You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. I'm sorry but she's simply too dangerous. (And bbg knows I say that with much affection) I can't argue with that reasoning but everybody has to leave this Earth at sometime and if a date with bballgirl is the way then it's worth the risk. Fortune favors the bold! And I know it's with affection  |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 16:28:05 GMT -5
Beachguy crosses off bballgirl from his potential date list... You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. True! |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 16:29:41 GMT -5
I like the way you think. Ooh! Juice poison ivy leaves, I swear it popped into my head 5 seconds ago Apply a dozen leeches while he sleeps! Better yet, would it be possible to tuck a live rattlesnake inside? No no, has to be invisible to be effective and work. |
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Post by beachguy on Dec 13, 2016 16:40:17 GMT -5
I'm sorry but she's simply too dangerous. (And bbg knows I say that with much affection) I can't argue with that reasoning but everybody has to leave this Earth at sometime and if a date with bballgirl is the way then it's worth the risk. Fortune favors the bold! And I know it's with affection sucks in Beachguy... Now it's a B grade vampire movie  |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 13, 2016 16:46:22 GMT -5
You're doing it wrong. That should be causing you to move her *up* your list. - Dude. I'm worried about your fight or flight response! What's the second thing? |
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Post by beachguy on Dec 13, 2016 16:47:13 GMT -5
My STBX would always act loving and flirtatious when we were out in public. Women especially told me how lucky I was to be married to him. No one except me knew he was an iceman when it came to sexual intimacy with me at home. Oh and I am starting over in my early 50's too JD. Same here! Drove me crazy. When we were out he would slap me on the rear end, nibble on my ear, hold hands, play footsie under the table and make innuendo constantly. More than once someone asked if we were newlyweds. Like some insane person, I played my part for years. Of course we would get home and the most I would get was a kiss on the cheek. The emotional abuse of that situation is hard to put into words. Some shrink needs to get some grant money to study his behavior, and others like him. And you deserve a medal and your freedom |
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