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Post by cagedtiger on Nov 21, 2016 19:26:51 GMT -5
This 2017 will be the new start. I'm pretty much completely done, now I'm getting together a clear exit plan, preparing myself and my network, and waiting for the end of her customary holiday spending orgy in which she's currently elbow deep. It's funny you mention about enjoying my time with my family- she mentioned last night feeling like I "choose them over her" and "leave her" by herself while we go do things. I honestly don't understand what that even means. This would not help things, but.....Can you imagine if you filled her absurd desire by being absurd? Follow her around, sit with her, constantly, complain about everything, and everyone, tell her how tired you are, sit outside away from everyone, don't speak the entire night, answer her questions with "ug-hugh", in the middle of the meal say, ' I wan't to leave lets go." Who knows how she would react, you might make her day! Don't expect any intimacy when you get home though. No, then she'd accuse me of picking on her. Or not taking her seriously. And we're going to be 6 hours from home... |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 21, 2016 19:47:12 GMT -5
This would not help things, but.....Can you imagine if you filled her absurd desire by being absurd? Follow her around, sit with her, constantly, complain about everything, and everyone, tell her how tired you are, sit outside away from everyone, don't speak the entire night, answer her questions with "ug-hugh", in the middle of the meal say, ' I wan't to leave lets go." Who knows how she would react, you might make her day! Don't expect any intimacy when you get home though. No, then she'd accuse me of picking on her. Or not taking her seriously. And we're going to be 6 hours from home... Friend, I guess I have been dealing with this longer than you have. My full teflon body suit is in place. What I wan't to say is, "so, fight fire with fire, you are coming to her rescue already, tough love through discipline". Enjoy the pumpkin pie, warm from the oven, with cool whip cream on top.! Thank you Lord for CT's loving relatives, remember they are there for you! Others have dealt with similar issues, perhaps the right relative can give your wife some loving, correcting advice? |
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 19:59:59 GMT -5
Isn't this the same wife that objected strenuously to your spending Thanksgiving with your dying grandmother?
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 20:08:39 GMT -5
Will this "charade" be another nail in the coffin for you? Another tipping point? You have every right to be yourself, engage with others, if she sits in the corner and sulks, that's her problem. Enjoy your time with your family, do lots of taking, build your legacy. This 2017 will be the new start. I'm pretty much completely done, now I'm getting together a clear exit plan, preparing myself and my network, and waiting for the end of her customary holiday spending orgy in which she's currently elbow deep. It's funny you mention about enjoying my time with my family- she mentioned last night feeling like I "choose them over her" and "leave her" by herself while we go do things. I honestly don't understand what that even means. , I've mentioned before how your wife is so similar to my STBX. She too complained that I put my family before her. In my case she was estranged from her family. I always felt she was simply jealous of my normal family relations |
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Post by skguy on Nov 21, 2016 22:19:24 GMT -5
I recently met someone nearby from what appears to be the perfect home. Big beautiful house. Money. Nice children etc. All appears well, except for the part where the lady of the house is my special friend ;-) Because behind closed doors she's not treated how a woman should be treated. Meanness. Berating. Backhanded compliments, body shaming...All those not so fun things. Glad you two found each other! Biggest problem is I talk too much and say dumb things on occasion. Lol But she's very tolerant. Likes me for some reason. 🙄 |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 22, 2016 0:41:49 GMT -5
Will this "charade" be another nail in the coffin for you? Another tipping point? You have every right to be yourself, engage with others, if she sits in the corner and sulks, that's her problem. Enjoy your time with your family, do lots of taking, build your legacy. This 2017 will be the new start. I'm pretty much completely done, now I'm getting together a clear exit plan, preparing myself and my network, and waiting for the end of her customary holiday spending orgy in which she's currently elbow deep. It's funny you mention about enjoying my time with my family- she mentioned last night feeling like I "choose them over her" and "leave her" by herself while we go do things. I honestly don't understand what that even means. Elbows deep at an orgy distracted me Tiger! Just go, it's likely to be your last. Just breathe through it. Let her have her snarky comments if she wants to. You just do your thing and let her do hers. |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Nov 22, 2016 11:37:29 GMT -5
I don't compare marriages.
But.......
I wonder if they are having sex.
I know if I am wondering about that, they probably aren't.
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Post by iceman on Nov 22, 2016 12:50:33 GMT -5
She doesn't "want to spend Thanksgiving with your family" ------ full stop. "Why" she doesn't want to do so is not particularly relevant. Don't take her. Go by yourself. Gotta keep up appearances. And she already told them she'd be there. I'm just praying we make it there without a meltdown in the car. Can't she come up with a case of fictional flu? She could look good by sacrificing her good time for not infecting your family. I'm so happy when my wife doesn't want to come to a social event. I'm so much more relaxed and have a much better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 22, 2016 13:53:35 GMT -5
Gotta keep up appearances. And she already told them she'd be there. I'm just praying we make it there without a meltdown in the car. Can't she come up with a case of fictional flu? She could look good by sacrificing her good time for not infecting your family. I'm so happy when my wife doesn't want to come to a social event. I'm so much more relaxed and have a much better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her. "I'm so much more relaxed and have a better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her". That's a tipping point. The FOG is lifting. You are realizing how miserable you are by just being in her presence. Keep that as a reminder of the freedom that is ahead. This is war. The enemy has killed to many for to long. Then the battle, then the victory. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Nov 22, 2016 14:28:42 GMT -5
Gotta keep up appearances. And she already told them she'd be there. I'm just praying we make it there without a meltdown in the car. Can't she come up with a case of fictional flu? She could look good by sacrificing her good time for not infecting your family. I'm so happy when my wife doesn't want to come to a social event. I'm so much more relaxed and have a much better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her. She's already done that a lot with my family, most recently about a month ago. |
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Post by iceman on Nov 22, 2016 15:06:21 GMT -5
Can't she come up with a case of fictional flu? She could look good by sacrificing her good time for not infecting your family. I'm so happy when my wife doesn't want to come to a social event. I'm so much more relaxed and have a much better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her. "I'm so much more relaxed and have a better time. I'm a different person when I'm not with her". That's a tipping point. The FOG is lifting. You are realizing how miserable you are by just being in her presence. Keep that as a reminder of the freedom that is ahead. This is war. The enemy has killed to many for to long. Then the battle, then the victory. I've come to that conclusion as well. It's very disconcerting to me. Now it's a matter of whether or not I can sufficiently gird my loins for the battle ahead. Or, let's be honest, if I can even gird them enough to start the battle. |
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Post by solodriver on Nov 23, 2016 0:45:22 GMT -5
I don't compare marriages. But....... I wonder if they are having sex. I know if I am wondering about that, they probably aren't. Whenever I'm out and I see couples, I ALWAYS wonder if they're having sex or who is the refuser in that relationship. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Nov 23, 2016 1:36:05 GMT -5
I don't compare marriages. But....... I wonder if they are having sex. I know if I am wondering about that, they probably aren't. Whenever I'm out and I see couples, I ALWAYS wonder if they're having sex or who is the refuser in that relationship. Meanwhile, longtime friends who have known me for many years but who have never met my wife or don't know her well assume we must have a spectacular sex life. |
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Post by thefullmoon on Nov 23, 2016 9:58:32 GMT -5
Whenever I'm out and I see couples, I ALWAYS wonder if they're having sex or who is the refuser in that relationship. Meanwhile, longtime friends who have known me for many years but who have never met my wife or don't know her well assume we must have a spectacular sex life. How do you know what they assume unless you told them that? |
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Post by JonDoe on Nov 23, 2016 10:16:57 GMT -5
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