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Post by solodriver on Nov 21, 2016 1:03:59 GMT -5
What are you talking about? There is something other than flannel (or some other flugly thing) to wear to bed? Oh yes, those silky expensive sexy little things that I gave her through the years. Probably threw them out. 'Not tonight' is every night, every year...nothing to avoid... My wife once asked me in a nasty tone of voice "How many other wives are wearing sexy things for their husbands?" I calmly responded with "Considering intimate apparel is only a ten billion dollar industry in the USA, clearly not many. Victoria's Secret is doomed." If refuser women ever start becoming a majority they could end up like Sears! |
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Post by solodriver on Nov 21, 2016 1:10:57 GMT -5
She has some sexy bed time outfits, but when she puts on the 15 year old flannel pajamas with 20 year old flannel bathrobe. That just screams 'Not Tonight'! (some thread had the flannel motif already, sorry I could not find it) My wife had several very sexy nightgowns that were so beautiful. I saw them in a bag in the back of the car about 10 years ago and I asked her what she was doing with them. Her answer:
"I'm probably never going to wear them again, so I'm taking them to Goodwill." I couldn't speak and just went into the spare bedroom and cried.
Now the thought I have is some woman, somewhere, is wearing those sexy nightgowns and making someone very happy.
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Post by Lithium92 on Nov 21, 2016 4:03:15 GMT -5
Not so much 'not tonight' as 'not ever'.
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 5:10:11 GMT -5
The whole problem here is that we, as a group, are unable or unwilling to enforce reasonable boundaries...
1. I need regular sex
2. It would best be you
3. Otherwise someone else is very acceptable
Those are simple boundaries. I wish I'd figured this out on my honeymoon.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 6:53:10 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 I remember being more than a little excited about a Victoria's Secret gift bag from H one birthday. I had visions of something with satin and lace. Instead it was a cotton sleep shirt. Ok, I was still rolling with it. The shirt read "Snooze before Dudes" He may as well have just put in the birthday card "Sleep is more important than sex. Happy Birthday." Snooze before Dudes... What the actual fuck, I think we're married to the same dolt. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Nov 21, 2016 8:57:06 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 A wise man would offer a blank check to Victoria's Secret and the sex shop, and offer to help pick things out. While I'm not into sports teams, a jersey can be pretty sexy if it's the only thing she's wearing! Then again... if she's rockin' it, I'd find a flannel bathrobe sexy. It's all in the attitude. But lingerie is very good too! Gotta agree with this- i was always terrified of getting the wrong thing, but would instead say, "hey baby, let's go shopping, and you can show me what makes you feel sexiest." Sex toys were a much safer bet, however. Note that the former conversation has ever resulted in any action from the wife, and the latter have been gathering dust for at least two years. |
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 9:23:19 GMT -5
King size bed. She gets in bed, attired neck to ankle and wrist in old flannel, wedged up against the side board on her side of the bed. Every night. No need for verbal excuses or lip balm or other such behavior.
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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 21, 2016 10:34:05 GMT -5
I can relate to so much of all of this. Handing out hugs by the handful. Also handing out vibrators and lingerie by the handful. XD
I had beat myself up for a long time because I never initiated. I figured I was the problem for a long time. I thought I was supposed to kind of be persistent through the body language that screamed "hands off". Lots of sexless marriage forums seem to drive home that sort of tactic. I'm sorry but I'm done with that. If it feels like I need to twist her arm, then I'll pass.
I'm back to arm twisting mode by the way. I got a taste of what a willing partner's vibe feels like during the reset. It's like night and day. I finally realized that, just like Baza mentioned, her communication has always been loud and clear. I've been correctly listening too. Turns out I'm not dumb afterall. I haven't been giving my vibe reading skills enough credit.
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 10:53:47 GMT -5
I can relate to so much of all of this. Handing out hugs by the handful. Also handing out vibrators and lingerie by the handful. XD I had beat myself up for a long time because I never initiated. I figured I was the problem for a long time. I thought I was supposed to kind of be persistent through the body language that screamed "hands off". Lots of sexless marriage forums seem to drive home that sort of tactic. I'm sorry but I'm done with that. If it feels like I need to twist her arm, then I'll pass. I'm back to arm twisting mode by the way. I got a taste of what a willing partner's vibe feels like during the reset. It's like night and day. I finally realized that, just like Baza mentioned, her communication has always been loud and clear. I've been correctly listening too. Turns out I'm not dumb afterall. I haven't been giving my vibe reading skills enough credit. I had a similar experience, wondering if I wasn't trying enough or some such thing. I never got into hugging stone statues or cuddling cold dead fish in a seafood market... |
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Post by timeisfleeting on Nov 21, 2016 10:54:49 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 I remember being more than a little excited about a Victoria's Secret gift bag from H one birthday. I had visions of something with satin and lace. Instead it was a cotton sleep shirt. Ok, I was still rolling with it. The shirt read "Snooze before Dudes" He may as well have just put in the birthday card "Sleep is more important than sex. Happy Birthday." Oh that is so perverse (and not in a good way)! "I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe." Yes, some of us men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie and plan romantic getaways and... How can "us" men be married to "those" women and you women be married to "those" men in the same universe? There is something fundamentally wrong with the universe. |
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 11:39:27 GMT -5
I remember being more than a little excited about a Victoria's Secret gift bag from H one birthday. I had visions of something with satin and lace. Instead it was a cotton sleep shirt. Ok, I was still rolling with it. The shirt read "Snooze before Dudes" He may as well have just put in the birthday card "Sleep is more important than sex. Happy Birthday." Oh that is so perverse (and not in a good way)! "I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe." Yes, some of us men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie and plan romantic getaways and... How can "us" men be married to "those" women and you women be married to "those" men in the same universe? There is something fundamentally wrong with the universe. Beyond perverse... That was simply cruel |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 21, 2016 11:43:17 GMT -5
A wise man would offer a blank check to Victoria's Secret and the sex shop, and offer to help pick things out. While I'm not into sports teams, a jersey can be pretty sexy if it's the only thing she's wearing! Then again... if she's rockin' it, I'd find a flannel bathrobe sexy. It's all in the attitude. But lingerie is very good too! Gotta agree with this- i was always terrified of getting the wrong thing, but would instead say, "hey baby, let's go shopping, and you can show me what makes you feel sexiest." Sex toys were a much safer bet, however. Note that the former conversation has ever resulted in any action from the wife, and the latter have been gathering dust for at least two years. Oh Tiger. You, my dear, are wasted on your wife. Truly. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 21, 2016 11:46:24 GMT -5
Chatter Fox & beachguy ...will you sort out pictures on your avatars please, my elderly brain cant cope with comments from the baldy 👽 alien heads ha ha x
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 21, 2016 11:47:32 GMT -5
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Post by beachguy on Nov 21, 2016 11:48:33 GMT -5
Chatter Fox & beachguy ...will you sort out pictures on your avatars please, my elderly brain cant cope with comments from the baldy 👽 alien heads ha ha x You're the second woman here that has disparaged my alien-ness  |
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