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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2016 20:02:22 GMT -5
DC, you bring up a good point, albeit probably unintentionally. Playing on their phones. Yes. And 2 facets to this: As you say, don't try to multitask me. I will give you 100% of my attention, and I expect the same. And if you walk up to me in the middle of something I can't stop at the moment, I will apologize and explain why. (Like customer hair-on-fire issues being worked.) The other is... W has an app that tracks her daily participation. In exchange for a worthless badge of a "year-plus perfect record", she will guarantee to spend the 15 minutes a day on it, often staying up just past midnight so she can ensure the next day's coverage. If only her partner-for-life deserved that much of her time. (Yeah, I've called her on it more than once.) I'm sure others see similar things with Facebook, Twitter, fantasy sports, etc. Related to the giving 100% of your attention, that is my refuser's favorite tactic for starting a fight. She will be telling a long story and then she will pause. I honestly do not know if she is done or thinking or what. If I interject a thought or continue her train of thought, she accuses me of cutting her off and not listening to her, which allows her to pick a fight which always means don't bother me tonight! She thinks I cannot see through this charade! Granted this tactic only needs to be used once or twice a year with me now. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 20, 2016 20:08:39 GMT -5
Don't forget the children. Always need your spouses attention, up until the last second, even when your spouse is in bed, they want the kids to come and tell them goodnight. As they get older, they come in the room to bring you the wife's only key and leave it in the room. I'll bring up my classic. Grandpa might hear us. The same 84 yr old man who takes out his hearing aids, and teeth every night around 9:00pm. A definite classic!! It is funny that we could do it in the same room as our kids were young and sleeping (when she was interested) and we were on vacation, but now if the kids have not gone to sleep or company is using the guest bedroom (different floor and opposite side of the house) it is an automatic, "not tonight someone may hear us!" Oh, it gets worse. She started inviting the kids into our bedroom to watch movies on our TV while laying in our bed. While she sat in her recliner chair in our bedroom, glued to her I pad. Something about the other kids playing video games on the other TV, and how loud it is. She would wait till it was late enough to tell the kids "It's your bed time", or "I am going to bed, turn it off." Then to hear her the next morning " I had such a hard time falling asleep". I was lucky to get a "goodnight" out of her. I took the "always kiss me goodnight sign" off the wall that hung over our bed, two years ago and donated it. Don't get me started on her snoring, gas, coughing, belching, and the pillow wall fortified by the "Great Wall of Elbows and Knees". |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2016 20:20:57 GMT -5
greatcoastal A definite classic!! It is funny that we could do it in the same room as our kids were young and sleeping (when she was interested) and we were on vacation, but now if the kids have not gone to sleep or company is using the guest bedroom (different floor and opposite side of the house) it is an automatic, "not tonight someone may hear us!" Oh, it gets worse. She started inviting the kids into our bedroom to watch movies on our TV while laying in our bed. While she sat in her recliner chair in our bedroom, glued to her I pad. Something about the other kids playing video games on the other TV, and how loud it is. She would wait till it was late enough to tell the kids "It's your bed time", or "I am going to bed, turn it off." Then to hear her the next morning " I had such a hard time falling asleep". I was lucky to get a "goodnight" out of her. I took the "always kiss me goodnight sign" off the wall that hung over our bed, two years ago and donated it. Don't get me started on her snoring, gas, coughing, belching, and the pillow wall fortified by the "Great Wall of Elbows and Knees". Spot on again greatcoastal Last night one of the twins slept with my wife and I slept on the couch because I had not come bed yet.(The kids don't know how much I no longer sleep in our bedroom). I have to disagree with you on the pillow wall, it sounds like something I would set up now to say "this is my space", if i ever wanted to sleep in that bed. |
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Post by solodriver on Nov 20, 2016 21:50:45 GMT -5
When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
Hugs, my friend. Thank you so much Andie. You're a gem!  |
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Post by ggold on Nov 20, 2016 22:33:44 GMT -5
What are you talking about? There is something other than flannel (or some other flugly thing) to wear to bed? Oh yes, those silky expensive sexy little things that I gave her through the years. Probably threw them out. 'Not tonight' is every night, every year...nothing to avoid... My wife once asked me in a nasty tone of voice "How many other wives are wearing sexy things for their husbands?" I calmly responded with "Considering intimate apparel is only a ten billion dollar industry in the USA, clearly not many. Victoria's Secret is doomed." Priceless!! Lol |
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Post by ggold on Nov 20, 2016 22:34:48 GMT -5
That makes my blood boil. My husband does the cooking. I am grateful for this and show it by saying thank you and cleaning up. Admittedly after clean up, we may both fart around on our phones for a bit, but if he's talking to me, my phone gets set down. It terrible to have to compete with electronics. When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
I am so sorry. :-( |
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Post by ggold on Nov 20, 2016 22:37:23 GMT -5
My husband would just fall asleep on the couch and not get up if I tried to wake him. No words were ever said and I would go to bed alone. I am still going to bed alone but that's fine by me. He's not the one I want to share my bed with anymore.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2016 22:50:18 GMT -5
What are you talking about? There is something other than flannel (or some other flugly thing) to wear to bed? Oh yes, those silky expensive sexy little things that I gave her through the years. Probably threw them out. 'Not tonight' is every night, every year...nothing to avoid... Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 |
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Post by ggold on Nov 20, 2016 23:24:57 GMT -5
What are you talking about? There is something other than flannel (or some other flugly thing) to wear to bed? Oh yes, those silky expensive sexy little things that I gave her through the years. Probably threw them out. 'Not tonight' is every night, every year...nothing to avoid... Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 Lol!! I never even thought of this!! I never got sexy nighties from him either. I didn't realize men bought their women sexy lingerie and even, gulp, VIBRATORS!!! OMG!! Lol |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2016 23:28:24 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 Lol!! I never even thought of this!! I never got sexy nighties from him either. I didn't realize men bought their women sexy lingerie and even, gulp, VIBRATORS!!! OMG!! Lol Vibrate, isn't that the setting on my phone when I don't want it to ring? |
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Post by becca on Nov 20, 2016 23:54:25 GMT -5
What are you talking about? There is something other than flannel (or some other flugly thing) to wear to bed? Oh yes, those silky expensive sexy little things that I gave her through the years. Probably threw them out. 'Not tonight' is every night, every year...nothing to avoid... Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 I remember being more than a little excited about a Victoria's Secret gift bag from H one birthday. I had visions of something with satin and lace. Instead it was a cotton sleep shirt. Ok, I was still rolling with it. The shirt read "Snooze before Dudes" He may as well have just put in the birthday card "Sleep is more important than sex. Happy Birthday." |
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Post by ggold on Nov 21, 2016 0:13:17 GMT -5
Lol!! I never even thought of this!! I never got sexy nighties from him either. I didn't realize men bought their women sexy lingerie and even, gulp, VIBRATORS!!! OMG!! Lol Vibrate, isn't that the setting on my phone when I don't want it to ring? Oh @andie!!! LMAO!! |
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Post by ggold on Nov 21, 2016 0:13:51 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 I remember being more than a little excited about a Victoria's Secret gift bag from H one birthday. I had visions of something with satin and lace. Instead it was a cotton sleep shirt. Ok, I was still rolling with it. The shirt read "Snooze before Dudes" He may as well have just put in the birthday card "Sleep is more important than sex. Happy Birthday." How depressing!!! :-( |
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 21, 2016 0:18:29 GMT -5
Wait. Men actually give gifts of sexy lingerie? I wouldn't know. I get coffee mugs and football jerseys. 😒 A wise man would offer a blank check to Victoria's Secret and the sex shop, and offer to help pick things out. While I'm not into sports teams, a jersey can be pretty sexy if it's the only thing she's wearing! Then again... if she's rockin' it, I'd find a flannel bathrobe sexy. It's all in the attitude. But lingerie is very good too! |
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Post by solodriver on Nov 21, 2016 1:00:57 GMT -5
When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
I am so sorry. :-( Thank you ggold. Your support means so much to me!
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