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Post by beachguy on Nov 8, 2016 10:21:27 GMT -5
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Post by Caris on Nov 8, 2016 16:04:28 GMT -5
Update on neighbor and the pole dance expo - - NOT a date. I was so nervous to say to him but I DID - - I took the risk and told him that I didn't want to be unfair by lack of clarity - - that I am going on the outing with him because I wanted to see the show and not as a "romantic interest date" - and offered to pay the ticket price and/or was this ok? Embarrassed because I wasn't really that sure if he thought of this as a date or a friend outing or what. The risk was not worth the worry! He said if he was thinking of it as a romantic-interest date - that I would have known that by now. (I am consistently amazed nowadays when I interact with people who can express themselves - I am just not USED TO that yet!) Anyway - all good and we're going as friends but he said he is old school in that, if he is inviting someone then he pays for it and it's not a big deal. I'm really looking forward to the athleticism and creativity of the show. And so relieved he didn't think of it as a date (for romance) and yet SO grateful I got the nerve up to take the risk by opening that conversation. And so now - still meditating on getting my nerve up about the young masseuse so that if the universe presents another opportunity, I won't sell myself short by not speaking my truth, being me, sticking my neck out. Grant, this makes me feel thankful that I don't have to deal with this stuff...is it a date or not? Does he like me or just think of me as a friend? I actually feel a sense of relief to be single and not dating. The next time I feel lonely for a relationship, I'll think of all the mental and emotional hassle, I'd have to deal with if I did. Good luck, dear. |
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Post by itsmytime2be on Nov 8, 2016 23:04:45 GMT -5
I think it is more than likely the fact that we've been out of the dating pool so long, that we've forgotten how. Especially, with texting now. I tend to over-analyze things more now, than I ever did in my 20s when I was dating the first time. We didn't have this "constant communication" that's available now, so there wasn't as much pressure to wonder why someone hasn't texted back. Though, the "waiting by the phone" thing did still occur. It's also the fact that we aren't around as many people as we were in school, or college. According to several articles I've read recently. I also don't want to hang out in bars, and "hook up" with men now. God forbid you actually want to have a conversation with someone, or talk on the phone. I don't do well with expressing myself with only a certain number of characters, and hashtags.
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 11, 2016 15:28:34 GMT -5
Makes me wonder... does anybody send flowers anymore? Or am I dating myself with that idea?
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Post by JonDoe on Nov 11, 2016 17:11:49 GMT -5
Dan : .....women have it tough in dating, but so do men. I feel it is still the default expectation that men are principally the initiators. And: they can't always get it right. Come in "too hot" (being too forward) will turn some women off. Come in too slowly (NOT making concrete "I like you" gestures) will turn some women off. For me personally: if I make as many errors one way as the other, then I guess I figure I'm doing it "about right"! I'm beginning to feel like Goldilocks. Some guys move too fast. Some guys move too slow. Where are the ones who are "just right"? (Silly question, because "too fast" or "too slow" mean different things to different people. Even different things to me, depending on my state of mind. Why does it have to be such a moving target?!) If it is such a moving target that even you have difficulty in understanding, then how the hell is he supposed to get it "just right"? |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Nov 11, 2016 23:24:04 GMT -5
Makes me wonder... does anybody send flowers anymore? Or am I dating myself with that idea? D.C. - if you know someone well enough then send flowers. I don't think there are "rules" really. My Ex sent flowers only once over 25 yrs. I had said some esoteric philosophy thing about I'd rather grow my flowers & we had 6 acres w/fabulous plantings. But it was great that one time that I went to him & said it's not written in stone & sometimes I'd like flowers delivered- so he did it that once, my birthday the year I said that (about 18 yrs ago). It's still sweet to do sweet things. But it's all about what clicks for both people & there are no real rules for that. "Be yourself," they say. I have to know myself first to do that. So my year of alone time this year, that's what I'm working on. Now I have much better clues of who I am (so I can be myself) & what qualities I'm looking for too. Finding the really right person for me is going to rely on that person being their true self - not acting a certain way they read a dating article about. |
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Post by beachguy on Nov 12, 2016 9:12:14 GMT -5
Makes me wonder... does anybody send flowers anymore? Or am I dating myself with that idea? I know for a fact that in this day and age a single rose can melt a woman's heart. Know your audience and respond accordingly  And this experiment in the interest of science is cheap enough! |
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