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Post by bballgirl on Oct 6, 2016 8:23:20 GMT -5
You helped me very much that day when he forgot my bday so thank you again. You explained the plane/parachute/ downward spiral to me. As far as Leap Day Sex, that was a spur of the moment text to my AP about the opportunity in front of us in regards to the calendar and he dropped by after work. That was a tough time for you. I'm proud of how you've taken charge of your life. I had the big 6-0 yesterday, something I was dreading for s long time . No bday sex, as usual but I'm in a better place anyway A very Happy Happy Bday to you! I'm happy for you that you are in a better place, the day to day peace is better than bday sex. That's what really matters because we both know in most cases a SM is not about sex. Big Hugs Xoxo P.S. I made fish sticks before my sons baseball lesson and I thought of you. Lord I should of just said "Why?" Lol  . Happy Birthday!! |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 6, 2016 8:31:31 GMT -5
That was a tough time for you. I'm proud of how you've taken charge of your life. I had the big 6-0 yesterday, something I was dreading for s long time . No bday sex, as usual but I'm in a better place anyway A very Happy Happy Bday to you! I'm happy for you that you are in a better place, the day to day peace is better than bday sex. That's what really matters because we both know in most cases a SM is not about sex. Big Hugs Xoxo P.S. I made fish sticks before my sons baseball lesson and I thought of you. Lord I should of just said "Why?" Lol . Happy Birthday!! Thanks bbg! Fish sticks  ? I'm lost as usual  |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 6, 2016 8:45:37 GMT -5
A very Happy Happy Bday to you! I'm happy for you that you are in a better place, the day to day peace is better than bday sex. That's what really matters because we both know in most cases a SM is not about sex. Big Hugs Xoxo P.S. I made fish sticks before my sons baseball lesson and I thought of you. Lord I should of just said "Why?" Lol . Happy Birthday!! Thanks bbg! Fish sticks ? I'm lost as usual It was a more meaningful experience for me. H and I had a huge fight and he was yelling at me for giving our son fish sticks before he played baseball. So I said, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of!" - which turned into more yelling. After the fact you said that I should have just said "Why?" - to this day still don't know that mystery. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2016 8:53:24 GMT -5
bballgirl - I read Leap Day as the first day you had sex with your husband. I would have commented on the comedy foretelling of that. Thanks for the clarification! Girl! I laughed so much at your interpretation. The ex would have said its bad luck to have sex on Feb 29 or some other lame excuse like my back hurts. Superstition! Excellent excuse! It's bad luck to have sex on a day that ends in Y. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 6, 2016 8:56:15 GMT -5
Girl! I laughed so much at your interpretation. The ex would have said its bad luck to have sex on Feb 29 or some other lame excuse like my back hurts. Superstition! Excellent excuse! It's bad luck to have sex on a day that ends in Y. I wish he would have used that excuse but then he would have exposed himself for the liar and manipulator that he is. He played me well for 23 years. Thank goodness I got out!! |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 6, 2016 9:55:43 GMT -5
Thanks bbg! Fish sticks ? I'm lost as usual It was a more meaningful experience for me. H and I had a huge fight and he was yelling at me for giving our son fish sticks before he played baseball. So I said, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of!" - which turned into more yelling. After the fact you said that I should have just said "Why?" - to this day still don't know that mystery. That brings our discussion back. Reading the above and remembering our discussions at the time, I can only visualize that plane in that nonrecoverable spin, seconds away from that point of no return where that parachute would be too little too late, with the audio track of a screaming WWII Stuka dive bomber. And there was so much more going on besides fish sticks. It can be argued that your response was abusive. We talk a lot about counter refusal. We don't talk enough about counter-abuse. When it would be difficult for an outsider walking in fresh to separate the abused from the abuser. That's the point where it's difficult to think above the deafening scream of that Stuka. That is where I was when I left and I think you were too. I wasn't very happy with the person I'd become. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 6, 2016 9:58:27 GMT -5
It was a more meaningful experience for me. H and I had a huge fight and he was yelling at me for giving our son fish sticks before he played baseball. So I said, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of!" - which turned into more yelling. After the fact you said that I should have just said "Why?" - to this day still don't know that mystery. That brings our discussion back. Reading the above and remembering our discussions at the time, I can only visualize that plane in that nonrecoverable spin, seconds away from that point of no return where that parachute would be too little too late, with the audio track of a screaming WWII Stuka dive bomber. And there was so much more going on besides fish sticks. It can be argued that your response was abusive. We talk a lot about counter refusal. We don't talk enough about counter-abuse. When it would be difficult for an outsider walking in fresh to separate the abused from the abuser. That's the point where it's difficult to think above the deafening scream of that Stuka. That is where I was when I left and I think you were too. I wasn't very happy with the person I'd become. And I said the above not to be judgmental in any way. It's a warning to those that think their SM can't get much worse. In many cases it can and will get a whole lot worse. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 6, 2016 11:19:01 GMT -5
That brings our discussion back. Reading the above and remembering our discussions at the time, I can only visualize that plane in that nonrecoverable spin, seconds away from that point of no return where that parachute would be too little too late, with the audio track of a screaming WWII Stuka dive bomber. And there was so much more going on besides fish sticks. It can be argued that your response was abusive. We talk a lot about counter refusal. We don't talk enough about counter-abuse. When it would be difficult for an outsider walking in fresh to separate the abused from the abuser. That's the point where it's difficult to think above the deafening scream of that Stuka. That is where I was when I left and I think you were too. I wasn't very happy with the person I'd become. And I said the above not to be judgmental in any way. It's a warning to those that think their SM can't get much worse. In many cases it can and will get a whole lot worse. That is very true. I was "happy enough" until year 18 or 19. The last 4 were Hell. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 6, 2016 11:41:21 GMT -5
And I said the above not to be judgmental in any way. It's a warning to those that think their SM can't get much worse. In many cases it can and will get a whole lot worse. That is very true. I was "happy enough" until year 18 or 19. The last 4 were Hell. Very arguably it is "better" to be lost in the fog. Ignorance is bliss, on a relative basis at least. I remember you lifting yourself up above the fog, especially after finding EP. Same thing happened to me. I was miserable for a long time but had never stepped back to see the big picture. I still have trouble contemplating a normal relationship. Nor do I understand my role in it all. Which has increasingly bothered me. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 6, 2016 12:40:08 GMT -5
That is very true. I was "happy enough" until year 18 or 19. The last 4 were Hell. Very arguably it is "better" to be lost in the fog. Ignorance is bliss, on a relative basis at least. I remember you lifting yourself up above the fog, especially after finding EP. Same thing happened to me. I was miserable for a long time but had never stepped back to see the big picture. I still have trouble contemplating a normal relationship. Nor do I understand my role in it all. Which has increasingly bothered me. I have contemplated my role and take some responsibility for the SM. Yes naivety and ignorance is bliss. I have learned from my mistakes of being too passive and not understanding my own sexuality as well as recognizing the incompatibility. It's still 90% his fault though! Lol |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 6, 2016 12:41:47 GMT -5
Very arguably it is "better" to be lost in the fog. Ignorance is bliss, on a relative basis at least. I remember you lifting yourself up above the fog, especially after finding EP. Same thing happened to me. I was miserable for a long time but had never stepped back to see the big picture. I still have trouble contemplating a normal relationship. Nor do I understand my role in it all. Which has increasingly bothered me. I have contemplated my role and take some responsibility for the SM. Yes naivety and ignorance is bliss. I have learned from my mistakes of being too passive and not understanding my own sexuality as well as recognizing the incompatibility. It's still 90% his fault though! Lol Yes bait & switch in an enforced monogamous relationship is just wrong. And while you were young and naive he doesn't have that excuse. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2016 6:16:11 GMT -5
I think for my next birthday, I'm going to ask for sex. This will be a big improvement over the coffee mug I got this year. 😒
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 7, 2016 13:36:25 GMT -5
I think for my next birthday, I'm going to ask for sex. This will be a big improvement over the coffee mug I got this year. 😒 With who? (Insert rim shot here) |
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 7, 2016 13:42:59 GMT -5
That is very true. I was "happy enough" until year 18 or 19. The last 4 were Hell. Very arguably it is "better" to be lost in the fog. Ignorance is bliss, on a relative basis at least. I remember you lifting yourself up above the fog, especially after finding EP. Same thing happened to me. I was miserable for a long time but had never stepped back to see the big picture. I still have trouble contemplating a normal relationship. Nor do I understand my role in it all. Which has increasingly bothered me. Well part of "your role" you state yourself. You were miserable for a long time. Why? Why did you never step back to see the big picture? You state that you have difficulty contemplating a normal relationship. Why? If you don't know what one is (for you) What are you doing about it? Just some questions you may want to consider. |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Oct 7, 2016 22:47:40 GMT -5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Sex on a birthday? We don't even have sex on our anniversary!
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. Happy Birthday!! 
? I'm lost as usual 
