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Post by TMD on Oct 3, 2016 0:16:40 GMT -5
Speaking of references, the best book I read on affairs is, "When Good People Have Affairs." The key take away wasn't as much whether I should continue with my affair partner, but the opportunity to assess whether or not my STBX passes muster with respect to my needs for a partner in a relationship. He doesn't. Hence the acronym I now get to use, STBX. becca, the book is an excellent resource on many levels, not just if you're considering a one night stand or something longer. I wish I'd read it years ago. |
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 8:39:13 GMT -5
Thanks, TMD. I just ordered it on Amazon. |
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Post by JMX on Oct 3, 2016 10:01:04 GMT -5
Hmm... I passed up a good one and sometimes regret it and other times am thankful I did not. One regret is just doing the damn thing and getting it out of the way, with someone I liked and respected. However, I am thankful because I do not believe I could have managed the emotions post-romp. Also, the build-up was exciting and it would have been disappointing if it was a huge let down for either one of us. If I am being honest about my nature, it would have been a huge let-down if he wasn't into it. There are so many emotions that come with all of that because of our shared sad situation, that it's very hard to not take account of our own fragile self-esteem. I am glad I listened to that part of me.
I had two other separate opportunities, and neither were as special as the first and I realized I didn't really care about "doing the damn thing" enough to do it with one that was kind of a douchecanoe and another that had a relentless torch for me since high school and it felt like it would either be a hate-filled screw or an emotional wreck of one.
I did the right thing for me. You did the right thing for you. We'll figure it out!
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Post by dancingbear70 on Oct 3, 2016 12:36:29 GMT -5
Thanks, TMD . I just ordered it on Amazon. Don't leave it lying on the nightstand!  |
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boudinMan
Junior Member
frustrated
Posts: 91 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by boudinMan on Oct 3, 2016 13:10:51 GMT -5
Well, I've been on the receiving end of this kind of situation twice and although it's frustrating, i've never gotten upset about it. I realize what is at stake and just how big of a decision it is. This may sound disingenuous, but i sometimes think it's best to take steps, sexually speaking. Instead of meeting to have 'go all the way' sex, maybe it's best to only agree to fool around. At least that way, one or both participants have the chance to back out if guilt or other issues arise. I don't know, it just seems like a bit of a compromise, I suppose.
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 14:08:24 GMT -5
Thanks, TMD . I just ordered it on Amazon. Don't leave it lying on the nightstand! Right?! I am going old school and putting a book cover on it as soon as it arrives. Or maybe just ripping the cover off. Naw...can't do that to a precious book. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 3, 2016 14:54:38 GMT -5
Don't leave it lying on the nightstand! Right?! I am going old school and putting a book cover on it as soon as it arrives. Or maybe just ripping the cover off. Naw...can't do that to a precious book. Kindle. That's what I'd do. |
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Post by ModCasper on Oct 3, 2016 15:15:42 GMT -5
Speaking of references, the best book I read on affairs is, "When Good People Have Affairs." The key take away wasn't as much whether I should continue with my affair partner, but the opportunity to assess whether or not my STBX passes muster with respect to my needs for a partner in a relationship. He doesn't. Hence the acronym I now get to use, STBX. : thanks for the recommendation on this thread. I invite you to post this also in the " Resources" board. The description you have would be good, but if you want to expand on it, great. For example: who do you think would benefit from reading this? Or any other information to share. |
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Post by itsjustus on Oct 3, 2016 21:26:10 GMT -5
Right?! I am going old school and putting a book cover on it as soon as it arrives. Or maybe just ripping the cover off. Naw...can't do that to a precious book. Kindle. That's what I'd do. I have it on kindle too. A lot safer that way.....grandkids who love to read.... "uh...Grandpa? What's an affair?" "It's what grandpa's do when grandma's won't put out...." "oh. Tmi grandpa....tmi" |
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Post by TMD on Oct 3, 2016 22:14:31 GMT -5
Thanks, TMD . I just ordered it on Amazon. Don't leave it lying on the nightstand! LOL. I ordered it on my ereader. I was pretty paranoid and only read it when alone. |
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Post by TMD on Oct 3, 2016 22:15:55 GMT -5
Speaking of references, the best book I read on affairs is, "When Good People Have Affairs." The key take away wasn't as much whether I should continue with my affair partner, but the opportunity to assess whether or not my STBX passes muster with respect to my needs for a partner in a relationship. He doesn't. Hence the acronym I now get to use, STBX. : thanks for the recommendation on this thread. I invite you to post this also in the " Resources" board. The description you have would be good, but if you want to expand on it, great. For example: who do you think would benefit from reading this? Or any other information to share. Didn't I already, ModCasper? Early on when this site started up? I'll check later (which could mean next week). If I haven't, I'll add it. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2016 22:51:18 GMT -5
Well, I've been on the receiving end of this kind of situation twice and although it's frustrating, i've never gotten upset about it. I realize what is at stake and just how big of a decision it is. This may sound disingenuous, but i sometimes think it's best to take steps, sexually speaking. Instead of meeting to have 'go all the way' sex, maybe it's best to only agree to fool around. At least that way, one or both participants have the chance to back out if guilt or other issues arise. I don't know, it just seems like a bit of a compromise, I suppose. The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. |
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 23:51:21 GMT -5
The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. I went there fully intending to see it through. Cute panties and all. I even bought a huge box of condoms just to cover my bases. Threw the box away and the condoms currently line the bottom of my computer bag. Maybe one day. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Oct 4, 2016 1:51:02 GMT -5
Well, I've been on the receiving end of this kind of situation twice and although it's frustrating, i've never gotten upset about it. I realize what is at stake and just how big of a decision it is. This may sound disingenuous, but i sometimes think it's best to take steps, sexually speaking. Instead of meeting to have 'go all the way' sex, maybe it's best to only agree to fool around. At least that way, one or both participants have the chance to back out if guilt or other issues arise. I don't know, it just seems like a bit of a compromise, I suppose. The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. You can't judge a woman by her panties ha ha. I would never leave home in a crap pair... you never know if a hot paramedic may need to attend to you at some point he he. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 4, 2016 9:18:25 GMT -5
Well, I've been on the receiving end of this kind of situation twice and although it's frustrating, i've never gotten upset about it. I realize what is at stake and just how big of a decision it is. This may sound disingenuous, but i sometimes think it's best to take steps, sexually speaking. Instead of meeting to have 'go all the way' sex, maybe it's best to only agree to fool around. At least that way, one or both participants have the chance to back out if guilt or other issues arise. I don't know, it just seems like a bit of a compromise, I suppose. The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. That must've been some crazy good barbecue. Where did y'all go? Asking for a friend... |
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