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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2016 18:20:53 GMT -5
My gf has degenerative disc disease and we have a limited repertoire. But we get the job done quite nicely. It is indeed true that your sex organs must be compatible...your brains.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 10, 2016 18:44:42 GMT -5
So nice to hear all this body positivity for all shapes and sizes! All we women seem to hear is to fit into a certain mold to attract men, and I love seeing that short and curvy is something men like (since I am short and curvy!). On the flip side, I like a man who is taller than me and a little on the squishy side. Plus likes to snuggle, make out, and all that fun stuff that leads to sex....  |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2016 19:11:07 GMT -5
My gf has degenerative disc disease and we have a limited repertoire. But we get the job done quite nicely. It is indeed true that your sex organs must be compatible...your brains. And this also shows that if people really want to, they can....even if they have some physical illness or limitations. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 10, 2016 19:24:09 GMT -5
On the flip side, I like a man who is taller than me and a little on the squishy side. Plus likes to snuggle, make out, and all that fun stuff that leads to sex.... Yep! I am totally into "dad bod". I have a simple rule - I like for a man to be big enough to pick me up, but not so big that he could pick me up and throw me across the room This thread gives me heart! I have dieted down to a size 10 now and aiming for a 4. Maybe I will stop at 6. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 11, 2016 8:17:24 GMT -5
This thread gives me heart! I have dieted down to a size 10 now and aiming for a 4. Maybe I will stop at 6. Stop at 10 (or 8 if you must) 6 or 4 is wrong - just wrong. Have a milkshake or something. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 11, 2016 17:33:21 GMT -5
A friend of mine that is a trainer said something a couple of years back (not to me but in general) -
"You can either be fat or you can smoke - you cannot do both."
It makes me laugh. I am working on fat first - BMI still too high (smaller bones) so once that is taken care of, I have a script of Chantix. The smoking is currently out of control with the stress of the divorce and the weight loss but, I can do this!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 18:39:48 GMT -5
A friend of mine that is a trainer said something a couple of years back (not to me but in general) - "You can either be fat or you can smoke - you cannot do both." It makes me laugh. I am working on fat first - BMI still too high (smaller bones) so once that is taken care of, I have a script of Chantix. The smoking is currently out of control with the stress of the divorce and the weight loss but, I can do this! I had to read this 8.6 times to get understand it. Not your fault -- my head was in the wrong place. I thought in the statement: "You can either be fat or you can smoke - you cannot do both", the "Smoke" part was meant to be a by-product of being hot. As in "Smokin' Hot". So, I thought your trainer was saying that you had to lose weight to be hot, and when you lost the weight, you couldn't help but be hot. Like trading one problem for another. |
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Post by solodriver on Aug 16, 2016 22:58:39 GMT -5
I am tall, 5'8". My husband is the same height. When we were first married, we seemed find ways to fit together. Over the years things have become awkward. His body isn't comfortable with mine. He had never been able to put his arm over my shoulder while sitting or standing because it's uncomfortable for both of us. Me, because I have to slouch down and him because he has to twist in an awkward position. The arm around the waist was preferred. Hugging is awkward too. If he gives he a bear hug it is uncomfortable because my breasts and his pecs are at the same level. It's like bumpers hitting a wall. I can't lay my head on his shoulder unless I bend, sticking my butt out. I can imagine how odd it looks. Spooning works better when he spoons me. If he spoons me. When I ache to feel body contact, I spoon him. I stay until he reaches around and gives me the three pats which mean "that's enough of that". [ Sex is different with every man. There is a position that works best with that particular lover. What do you do when that best position no longer works? Find a new one? I can honestly say that we tried. What worked for me didn't for him, and vice versa. He isn't into foreplay or oral or kissing. He obviously believed I should get aroused by the mere presence of his amazing masculinity. Ok, it worked until I started going through menopause. I asked for what I needed to enjoy sex. (See "Devastating Statements") I did get two very nice sessions but he said I was too demanding and hard to please. He says that I'm a1%'er. I am someone that complains about that one tiny percentage of imperfection. I don't know why, but that statement cut deep. It made me doubt myself. Can I find pleasure with a man? Is there a man that can please me and meet my needs? I had to find out. I'm short, 5'3". I think our refusers find reasons to complain about compatible things they had no complaints about earlier in the relationship. I do agree that there is a sexual positions that work best with every lover, but you can enjoy different things together sexually. I think that when our refusers want a reason to refuse us, compatibility is the one thing they can go to every time if all else fails. And you're right, those statements hurt very deeply, something we thought we'd never hear from someone who said they would always love us no matter what.
I understand that bodies change with age and over time, but it hurts deeply when something that you used to enjoy together is no longer enjoyable to one of you and they make no effort to find something to replace it with. Then, soon enough, there is nothing left to enjoy and the sexual feelings and love you had for that individual dies, just like flowers that are never watered and tended to.
When my wife rejected me, I thought it was me, that I had lost my appeal to all women. I have wondered if I will ever find pleasure with a woman again. I wonder if there is a woman who wants to please me and meet my needs. It's a very sad feeling indeed.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2016 1:07:21 GMT -5
My gf has degenerative disc disease and we have a limited repertoire. But we get the job done quite nicely. It is indeed true that your sex organs must be compatible...your brains. I totally agree that the brain is the most important sex organ you have. I have dated tall/short, thin/bbw, younger/older, and what mattered the most was if our brains produced the "love drug" dopamine for each of us. And for the record, the girl who I was most attracted to after one year and most comfortable sexually with was 5'10' 170 lbs., her smile was dazzling and we could kiss each other for hours. I am thin, 6' 0" and 175 lbs. She felt self-consciously heavy and I felt self-consciously thin. We were not opposites but we certainly did attract each other. |
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Post by baza on Aug 17, 2016 2:11:03 GMT -5
Of all the things that might make one person incompatible with another, height wouldn't even go close to making the top 50.
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I reckon the #1 reason for incompatibility is (drum roll) - - - - "Spouse is a jerk".
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And under that "Spouse is a jerk" heading, there would be innumerable sub headings, like -
- gambler
- alcoholic
- drug addict
- violent
- financially irresponsible
- hypochondriac
- mummys boy
- daddys girl
- immaturity
- mental
- control freak
- abusive
to nominate just a dozen.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 17, 2016 6:52:20 GMT -5
Of all the things that might make one person incompatible with another, height wouldn't even go close to making the top 50. - I reckon the #1 reason for incompatibility is (drum roll) - - - - "Spouse is a jerk". - And under that "Spouse is a jerk" heading, there would be innumerable sub headings, like - - gambler - alcoholic - drug addict - violent - financially irresponsible - hypochondriac - mummys boy - daddys girl - immaturity - mental - control freak - abusive to nominate just a half dozen. Mine easily fulfils 9 of those. God. What am I doing! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 17, 2016 6:55:34 GMT -5
It's the attitude, the mind, the ability to accept ourselves that makes us sexy or not.
Step away from the scales and the tape measure!
Direct order lol!
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 17, 2016 6:58:07 GMT -5
A friend of mine that is a trainer said something a couple of years back (not to me but in general) - "You can either be fat or you can smoke - you cannot do both." It makes me laugh. I am working on fat first - BMI still too high (smaller bones) so once that is taken care of, I have a script of Chantix. The smoking is currently out of control with the stress of the divorce and the weight loss but, I can do this! You not tried an ecig? They are fabulous to save money and not smell... But they don't half keep you heavily addicted to nicotine. Well me anyway. And I sneak the odd cigarette here and there too... Nothing like when I was smoking full time but still. I think cold turkey is the only way  nightmare! |
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 17, 2016 7:15:33 GMT -5
Years ago I saw an award show with Marilyn Monroe and Mickey Rooney paired as presenters. Rooney's head was at the same height as Monroe's breasts (as they nearly spilled out of her low cut dress). Rooney leaned in, put his arm around Monroe's waist, laid his head between Monroe's breasts, looked out at the crowd and said "who wants to be tall"?
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Post by wewbwb on Aug 17, 2016 7:39:35 GMT -5
I'm short, 5'3". I think our refusers find reasons to complain about compatible things they had no complaints about earlier in the relationship. I do agree that there is a sexual positions that work best with every lover, but you can enjoy different things together sexually. I think that when our refusers want a reason to refuse us, compatibility is the one thing they can go to every time if all else fails. And you're right, those statements hurt very deeply, something we thought we'd never hear from someone who said they would always love us no matter what.
I understand that bodies change with age and over time, but it hurts deeply when something that you used to enjoy together is no longer enjoyable to one of you and they make no effort to find something to replace it with. Then, soon enough, there is nothing left to enjoy and the sexual feelings and love you had for that individual dies, just like flowers that are never watered and tended to.
When my wife rejected me, I thought it was me, that I had lost my appeal to all women. I have wondered if I will ever find pleasure with a woman again. I wonder if there is a woman who wants to please me and meet my needs. It's a very sad feeling indeed.
Okay Solodriver - I would like to interject here if I may - I could be wrong and out of line - If so - I apologize. Here goes. Height is only an issue if you are trying to get something off the top shelf. I'm short also (something that my mouth often forgets) Fortunately, I'm also hairy and sarcastic with a highly warped perspective on life, a sense of humor that is very twisted and dark while, luckily, being just smart enough to get myself into trouble (good times!). So what? If a woman loves you, height is not an issue - Period - do not let something that you have zero control over occupy your thoughts. You hint that she has used your height as an excuse to not have sex. You are right - if a refuser wants to find a reason they will - and height is an easy target - That's inexcusable and frankly if someone who was supposed to love me said that- we'd have a serious conversation about division of property because that is so shallow I wouldn't be able to look at them without disgust. Lastly - and in my opinion - most importantly - You wonder if there is a woman who wants to please you and meet your needs? That sounds incredibly selfish. How about a woman who can enjoy your attention? Or a woman who you can connect with? Share with? Laugh with? Likes sex as much as you? How about a woman who can fulfill you as much as you fulfill her? I will also say this - (and I am as guilty as any other man so I'm NOT throwing stones) - If you can't or won't - or not even TRY to fulfill HER needs there is ZERO chance of her trying to fulfill yours. No relationship can last like this. Maybe in the short term, but never in the long. I just think that maybe you'd like to really examine what you are looking for and why. |
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nightmare! 
