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Post by csl on Sept 2, 2016 12:36:09 GMT -5
This one bugs me to this day, "I don't ever think about having sex. It isn't just you. I don't think about having sex with anyone." I decided that she has one year to change. I'm going to be very explicit about my needs. If nothing changes, I'm planning my Brexit and seceding from the union. Does she know that she's 'on the clock'? You say you're going to be explicit about needs, but how will she know that this time it's real, that you're eyeing your parachute?
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Post by csl on Sept 1, 2016 16:07:12 GMT -5
... Four days later I found all the hearts in the recycling bin. I have to admit I didn't think he could still hurt me -- but that one stung. You went to such effort to show him how much you cared and that's what you get? Did you smack his face? You should have. Turn it around and see if it still a go - wife throws flowers in the trash. Slug her?
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Post by csl on Aug 31, 2016 16:58:03 GMT -5
Apropos to nothing but the thread title, one of my personal heroes (a few years back) told the truth. His refusing wife was enthusing about a milestone anniversary that was coming up, and a family vacation that she was planning. She got caught up in her personal delusion and said, "Wouldn't it be nice to celebrate our anniversary in Hawaii?" I don't know what came over the boy, but something must have been triggered, because he simply asked, "What have we got to celebrate?"
Of course, WWIII broke out, but the wife was no longer able to labor under the delusion that she had a happy marriage.
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Post by csl on Aug 30, 2016 17:35:16 GMT -5
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Post by csl on Aug 29, 2016 10:54:30 GMT -5
Newport News, VA. I'm a mid-Atlantic girl. Not too far north, not too far south, not too far inland. ;-) Cool! Just across the James from you, in Suffolk.
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Post by csl on Aug 27, 2016 12:16:56 GMT -5
Learned this from Mark Twain:
“Still, it is better to be alone than unwelcome.” Complete Diary of Eve
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Post by csl on Aug 26, 2016 16:25:33 GMT -5
Just me, but calling the police over the stolen items is not a go?
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Post by csl on Aug 18, 2016 11:06:58 GMT -5
I wasn't on this EP, but several posts in this thread imply that once trust is broken, it's gone. While that is often the case, it doesn't have to be. But losing that trust has its consequences. I'm not tooting my own horn, but as a librarian, I do link to several other resources; at the risk of appearing to be promoting my blog, I did write a post about this problem, and recovery, with links to several other sources and writers: Lost Toys, Lost Joys. (As with all my stuff, a disclaimer--I write from a Christian perspective, so if that is offensive to you, please ignore.)
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Post by csl on Aug 14, 2016 12:18:42 GMT -5
Well, yeah, there is that, but your "... stern, especially towards my wife..." helped seal the deal. The fact that she's not just saying it's your fault, from the get-go, says a lot.
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Post by csl on Aug 14, 2016 11:23:45 GMT -5
OK, now I'm liking this counselor. 😀
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Post by csl on Aug 14, 2016 7:44:10 GMT -5
Could be Brother csl, the counsellor 'might' have a Machiavellian streak in them !!! - But any Marital Counsellor needs 2 (two) reasonably functional and motivated persons to appear before them. 1 (one) ain't enough. That (plus the counsellors individual competency) is the limiting factor in joint counselling. - In the context of this group, Marital counselling has an appalling record. The avoidant spouse in instances will not attend, and in other instances, may as well not attend, as they are not invested in the process. I do agree with you that it takes two to make a marriage. On my blog, one of my truisms is "It's not his sexlife, it's not her sexlife, it's y'alls' sexlife." After all, it takes two to tangle. In my reading, I've seen those who have bombed in counseling and those who have succeeded in counseling. But it does take two willing to tangle, not just one.
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Post by csl on Aug 14, 2016 7:10:47 GMT -5
She must know that if you guys separate, even temporarily, that you are not coming back. Yes, yes she does. I see that everyone is dumping on the counselor, but I remember this exchange from two weeks ago. Could it be that she saw the same dynamic and short-circuited it by putting them back in the house together? Just throwing that out for thought.....
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Post by csl on Aug 12, 2016 10:04:11 GMT -5
A woman I know of finally snapped. One day she came home and found that her hubs had left the used Kleenex and mag in the bathroom. After years of enduring a SM, she snapped and gave him an ultimatum: "You've got 30 days! See a counselor or see an attorney!"
He knew she meant it, and started seeing a counselor. They're still married, and she's no longer in a SM.
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Post by csl on Aug 12, 2016 9:19:18 GMT -5
"(Little known fact -this song was originally done by "Blind Willie Johnson- Led Zeppelin's version is actually inspired by it)"
Um... I knew it. But then, I didn't know that Led Zeppelin covered it. By that token, I don't know any Led Zeppelin songs other than the start of Stairway To Heaven. I think.
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Post by csl on Aug 12, 2016 8:47:57 GMT -5
Pardon the preaching, but "For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat." [2 Thess. 3:10]
You don't have to be religious to give St. Paul an "Amen" on that.
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