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Post by csl on Apr 19, 2024 7:33:25 GMT -5
Oh my god, he just asked me to refill his bottle of shampoo for him. This is a first. what the hell?! Does this place look like a hotel or what?! I think I’ve got three kids actually… you, of course, told him no, diy?
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Post by csl on Apr 8, 2024 7:03:21 GMT -5
8 hours cleaning time per room? Damn, you could do surgery in Chez Missingout. How are those poor kids ever going to satisfy those standards? Your Mrs sounds dreadful. From your descriptions she is emotionally labile, bullying and controlling. Look after yourself. Oooo, a new word! Labile - changeable, unstable. Thank you.
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Post by csl on Apr 4, 2024 7:21:05 GMT -5
I did eat cookies from the UK a few months ago via a co-worker, and they were absolutely delicious. I don't remember what they were, but I devoured them while being lectured for supporting Tottenham. Those would be biscuits. Did they have chocolate on or in them? That would explain it. Borrowing from Crocodile Dundee, "That's not a biscuit. Now THIS is a biscuit!" Viral vid of British kids encountering American biscuits and gravy:
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Post by csl on Mar 6, 2024 8:12:51 GMT -5
Sounds like my W. She is attracted to the assertive and masculine type but wants someone who is safe and can give her security. Whenever I try to be the assertive type I get rebuffed with statements that I'm acting like a jerk. I do go work out in the gym and I do fix and repair things around the house and whatnot so I have the masculine part down, but I just don't know what she's looking for. I realize now I've gone too far the other way. I had a one on one with my councilor. Since I do everything around the house, take care of the kids, make dinner, and up to now haven't demanded sex, I've created an environment that's too comfortable for my wife. She's been comfortable with her needs being met for so long she simply doesn't see mine as important. True story from an old post of mine, by a guy on a different marriage board: Now, hie thee over to YouTube and find Bob Newhart's "Stop It" video. The, "Go, thou, and do likewise."
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Post by csl on Mar 6, 2024 8:02:22 GMT -5
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Post by csl on Mar 2, 2024 8:20:10 GMT -5
Now I'm thinking to myself, is this a start? Is there anyway to build on this or will be weeks again before she reaches out and touches me? Or is she sensing how close I am to leaving and just breadcrumbing me? Uh, no! It's not even the kissing that is your minimum.
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Post by csl on Feb 29, 2024 8:20:39 GMT -5
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but this is bothering me today. I don't like to push in my blog because of the religious bent I take, but this reminded me of a couple of posts I put up in 2015. If you hold your nose when I speak religiously, maybe you can get something from the contrast of Caspar Milquetoast and Patrick Henry. Go-To Marital Tools, #1Go-To Marital Tools, #2A religious viewpoint doesn't bother me as my wife and I both are of faith. What bothers me is she knows what is considered biblical when it comes to sex and nothing changes. Thank you for this link as I will take a look. Careful, now. Don't encourage me, or I just might start preachin'! Oh, what the heck; see if I am close with my post, Is You Marriage a Parlor?
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Post by csl on Feb 29, 2024 8:10:59 GMT -5
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but this is bothering me today. I don't like to push in my blog because of the religious bent I take, but this reminded me of a couple of posts I put up in 2015. If you hold your nose when I speak religiously, maybe you can get something from the contrast of Caspar Milquetoast and Patrick Henry. Go-To Marital Tools, #1Go-To Marital Tools, #2
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Post by csl on Feb 29, 2024 7:55:52 GMT -5
If I remember correctly, isn't her maximum intimacy just kissing? Tattoo that on your eyeballs!
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Post by csl on Feb 12, 2024 7:56:42 GMT -5
Just had a lecture from some Woman on You Tube comments - she is happily married with 3 kids - and sex is NEVER a need, it's a want and expecting sex in marriage as a need is toddler level thinking. Ah, but is her husband also happily married? I’d bet not, with that attitude. To be fair, she only expects him to provide what she NEEDS to survive, right? No? Just maybe… thriving relationships come from partners doing more than the bare minimum. DC Ah, you hit upon one of my aphorisms on my blog, namely, A happy marriage is not decided by one vote.
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Post by csl on Feb 8, 2024 7:35:05 GMT -5
Hearing aids? OH, you just plucked my Devilment string!
Watch this, and start doing what Peanut did. The actual devilment begins at about 1:45 of the clip, but the whole vid is funny throughout
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Post by csl on Feb 6, 2024 8:03:14 GMT -5
We had another councilling session. So one of the things we talked about was minimum and maximum comfort levels for intimacy. For example, her min would be holding hands, kissing is her max. My min is kissing, with no known max. The therapist pushed a bit harder and asked if kissing was the max that happened would that be enough? I responded that I hoped for more. We also talked about bidding on needs, for example when I ask for a hug that's an emotional bid and how rejections to those "bids" leads to withdrawing and distancing. She actually cried a bit not realizing how much her rejections over the years were hurting me. I do think that after this session she has a better understanding of my needs. And I'm still hopeful we can make progress. The next couple of weeks will be the real test. I am not sure if you are the poster who greeted me with "I don't do religion," but even so, you might want to push your antipathy aside and read Chris Taylor's (Forgiven Wife blog) post, Your Husband's Hurt; share it with your counselor and your wife. The counselor, because s/he needs to know that her MAX is your MIN; your wife, just in case her distress at your hurt isn't crocodile tears. Chris collected a gut-wrenching numbers of "testimonies" about sexless marriage pain. It might be helpful for your next counseling session.
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Post by csl on Feb 6, 2024 7:41:28 GMT -5
This hits my Coot Button. If he knows that his wife is upset over the sexless state of the marriage, this is just mean. Although I am always on the side of niceness, I believe the proper response to being given this card would be to look at the Hubs with a direct gaze, while slowly tearing it up on the folds.
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Post by csl on Jan 29, 2024 7:54:45 GMT -5
And this is the point i recommend the tease game. Its a borrow from the boys and the BDSM crowd minus the sadism. Learn to build her up to her orgasm but not quite all the way and dont let her orgasm... lol sounds bad but I dont know how else to say it. Be the owner of her new found orgasm. When she is freaking out wanting to let loose, take her with your own body. Teach her slowly how to transfer those sexual feelings to you. So what it takes a toy to get there, that doesn't matter. Ride the wave! I believe this is called "edging".
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Post by csl on Jan 29, 2024 7:53:28 GMT -5
I'm in the same boat with being a "nice guy" and I can tell my wife sees it too as she is doing similar things as your wife does to you. Would you consider your wife a gatekeeper when it comes to sex? Mine certainly is. If I tell her I want us to have sex she will either deny me or tell me yes but then later make an excuse for saying no, but when we do have sex it's because she suggests it "if you want to do it go shut the door". I'm so sorry you are going through this too. I'll answer that with my experience yesterday. She was up before me, I was still in bed. She came out of the bathroom dressed to go downstairs and I asked for a hug. She said no, she has a headache and went downstairs. There's not really any gatekeeping. The gate is locked and welded closed. As I am wont to say, you will tolerate things until things become intolerable. Until you decide to do something, the status quo is what it is. How many more years? 5? 10? 20?
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