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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 16, 2022 9:38:32 GMT -5
Welcome jameson68,...You may not find a member who's posts exactly mirror you own experiences in your marriage. But if you keep reading then you should find enough of other's experiences to hopefully be of some value. Good luck in your reading and again, welcome...'
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 16, 2022 6:33:25 GMT -5
A few thoughts as I read through this thread. If you are going to dabble... Sorry but what is OPSEC??
I like the advice on taking it slow and having a list of do's and don'ts. I need to think it through carefully, especially now I know that he would prefer we divorce rather than have me outsource. I don't think I want to outsource without his 'blessing' or at least his acceptance of my occasional, discrete affairs.
You are unlikely to ever have his "blessing" when it comes to outsourcing. Instead, if you are considering outsourcing, to whatever degree, probably the most realistic possibility would be a "don't ask, don't tell" understanding. Notice I said understanding, not agreement. I'm thinking his pride would preclude him ever approving of another man between your legs. You know your H best. Do you really think he would initiate a divorce if he though or suspected you were seeing someone else? Or is he forcing you into compliance with his view of no sex with the threat of his preference of divorce? And divorce is a distinct possibility. My X preferred divorce to the thought of another woman in picture that would shame her if anyone found out about it.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 15, 2022 12:01:54 GMT -5
And now I am worried. One of my grandchildren has tested positive for COVID. Just what I was afraid of with their returning to school. One of their grandmothers tested positive over the weekend and they have been in close contact with her. So now I have been in close contact with him yesterday in my home. Crap... Two days later...how is everybody? Omicron is supposed to be relatively mild. Hopefully grandma got jabbed? Unless she's immunocompromised, vaccination is still very good at keeping you out of the ICU, even at the two year mark. You say you have risk factors. Any numbers on how folks like yourself do when vaxxed, like you are? Youngest grandson is doing well. symptoms are mild. Now granddaughter has it also. The whole family on d-i-l side of the family has Covid, probably where my grandson picked it up. School will re-admit them on Monday and so will I. Transmission odds should be pretty much over by then. As to my risk factors and #of folks who do well or who expire. Hard to say as I have 4 of the 5 risk factors shared by those who die. I like to say I would fight a circular saw, but I can see that coming at me. Covid I can't see coming.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 15, 2022 8:38:38 GMT -5
That’s always my question to her…if intercourse isn’t enjoyable, what about engaging in some other intimate acts? I don’t like everything that you like but I do it for you vacations plays movies etc…. It doesn’t hurt you to provide manual or oral stimulation every now and then. It doesn’t have to be your favorite. Even if she just wanted to be in the same room with me while I got to know myself a little bit… that would be something. So you don’t enjoy it in the same way I do. Fine it doesn’t have to be every day. But maybe once a week you can pretend that it’s important? And if she pretended it was important, would you be happy with that response from her? Knowing she was faking, that it's just a sham, how would that work for you really?
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 15, 2022 8:32:52 GMT -5
Kamala cries out "The boarder is absolutely secure" while crowd surfing over caravan of illegals walking across the boarder.... E-verify, baby. Everything else is lip service. There is no E-verifying this. It is satire from Babylonian Bee. Of course, we all know the countless hours she has spent at the border dealing with the influx of illegals. What a trooper !!!
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 14, 2022 17:11:59 GMT -5
Interestingly, my ex has married a woman from a culture that doesn't value emotional intimacy well. He seems happy. I hope he is and I wish him well. I maintain the idea that our mis-matched spouses are also not entirely happy being with us when we’re unhappy about things they won’t change. No, they couldn’t care less about intimacy, but surely they’d be happier with someone who didn’t pressure them for it? DC And yet, for most of our refuser's, acceptance of another person into the relationship for the express purpose of intimacy is something few of them will countenance.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 13, 2022 9:10:28 GMT -5
Seeing my H behaving the way he does further enhances the way I’m feeling and it hurts to know that despite him seeing me unhappy and knowing he’s the reason behind it, he doesn’t do anything. This is the jest of it for most of us here. Despite repeated efforts, talks etc., it is experiencing the lack of real action or change on their part that's so disheartening. Their half-hearted responses suck the life out of the marriage. Been there, done that in mine.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 13, 2022 7:29:21 GMT -5
And now I am worried. One of my grandchildren has tested positive for Covid. Just what I was afraid of with their returning to school. One of their grandmothers tested positive over the weekend and they have been in close contact with her. So now I have been in close contact with him yesterday in my home. Crap...
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Stuck
Sept 12, 2022 13:13:41 GMT -5
Post by worksforme2 on Sept 12, 2022 13:13:41 GMT -5
I went back and read all your old posts. Nowhere did I see anything about your H seeing a Doctor to get verification he has no physical or hormonal issues that could cause him to lose interest in intimacy. Also I am somewhat struck by the poor communication between the 2 of you. Your H seems to be clueless during the conversations about the issues bothering you. If he will not participate in counseling, it speaks volumes about the value he places on the marriage. Words cannot compete with actions. No matter if he says he loves you, if he isn't willing to get the help he needs or invest the effort and time needed to demonstrate his commitment, then it's unlikely things are going to improve for you.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 12, 2022 10:48:30 GMT -5
I went back to read some of your old posts. What struck me immediately is how todays post mirrors and reflects what you wrote years ago. It doesn't appear your H is able to maintain the sort of behavior you would like to see from him for more than a few weeks. My X was the same. After a "talk" in which I expressed how unhappy I was a reset would follow and perhaps a week or 2 of intimacy. Then she would revert to ignoring me and refusing my efforts to initiate anything physical. She also didn't want any extended cuddling or kissing as it might encourage me to seek more. I didn't read all your back posts so I will ask if he has sought medical attention to see if he has issues with low thyroid or other lack of hormones, such as testosterone. If there are health issues, he may well have no idea why he acts as he does when it comes to affection toward you and intimacy with you specifically. First move is to check out his hormones and then if he is OK there you may need to seek therapy or counselling for him and for you both as a couple. I am not a big fan of counselling, but if your H really does care about you, he will do everything he can to insure your happiness and wellbeing. Good luck....
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 9, 2022 12:25:46 GMT -5
I joined this site in May of 2016. Not surprisingly I saw a lot ot the EP members I knew. Un-fortunately few of those EP folks posted like they did on that site and very few of them a still active here. I used to post a lot but now I do more commenting in the form of humor. The newer OP's often don't resonate with me as much. I agree with another comment about the lack of information /history of the marriage ans that makes trying to figure out what might be happening more difficult. Covid also might still be playing a role with those in a SM just thinking the loss of intimacy is related to the general actions of avoiding contact and social distancing. I also think a huge number of people are cruising about the site seeking answers, but are unwilling to post their story for whatever reasons. Just look at the ratio of visitors to members every day. It's about 20-40 times as many visitors for every member. I'm not in a SM anymore. I'm mostly in a sexless single state. Women in my age demographic that are interested in intimacy seem to be few and mostly located very far away.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 8, 2022 6:33:39 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 8, 2022 6:29:14 GMT -5
"She /he looks so natural"..... This used to be the comment most heard at a viewing years ago..... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 5, 2022 7:36:27 GMT -5
As we all know sometimes the things Jesus did got him into trouble.... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 5, 2022 7:18:25 GMT -5
This resonates with me. I broke up with my 1st really serious girlfriend my junior yr. in college. Yeah, the one that gave me blowjobs every weekend when I was home. She wanted to get married but I was paying my own way through school. So she started dating an assistant principal and married him. Turns out he was queer as a 3 dollar bill and she was just window dressing for his career. On their honeymoon in Vegas he spent the nights there with one of the hotel's male employee's. Turns out that it's true. A gay man will marry your girlfriend.
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