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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 24, 2023 13:08:37 GMT -5
I said I lived 51 miles away from where I actually did to avoid coming up in search results of a polyamorous friend of Mrs. MirrorOrchid. It might be some of these ladies are doing the same thing. Pretend to be far away so neighbors don't see you outsourcing/"cheating". FWIW, both matches I had on OKcupid were in range and willing to meet. Both polyamorous married women, if you're up for that. jim 44444 said much the same thing. His thinking was that women are falsely giving locals to avoid potential stalkers. It kind of far out thinking but in todays world it's understandable not taking chances for a woman. And I would not be at all surprised that some of the women on Our time are married so faking their location would make sense. I have started sending "likes" to any woman that catches my eye, no matter the distance. If she lives closer than her profile indicated hopefully she will see somethiong in my profile she likes and answer. I would definitely be up for something polyamourous if I found the couple or group attractive and they me. I started to scout around to see the locations of the closest groups but I have been distracted by other things lately.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 24, 2023 6:59:14 GMT -5
greatcoastal,...I think we can agree that generally speaking Match s**ks. I even tried the hookup, sex section at the site. (I was really getting desperate). No one over age 35 seen. And once again, far away and mostly in large cities.
EDIT: One more thing...it is nearly impossible to unsubscribe from Match. I bet i have filled out the unsubscribe option 15 times over the last month. And just this morning I get another email from the site.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 23, 2023 11:14:29 GMT -5
If you google reviews about Bumble and Match you will find many complaints about the proximity/radius issue. These are the people who don't stay on dating sites very long, and end up never using them again.. it makes you wonder about the remaining ones? These people (men and women) who leave dating sites quickly end up joining groups and activities to find a date/partner close to where they live. The person looking for a long distance relationship is content with a built in barrier. ( not every case-but most) A barrier that keeps them from committing. I was on Match for about 3 months. It reminded me a lot of POF. The females were not especially attractive, they were seldom active and the couple of women who initially seemed to show some interest quickly disappeared. On a scale of 1-5 I think I gave Match a 1. POF was the worst site , with Match a close second.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 22, 2023 21:23:15 GMT -5
If this is the case I would think it would backfire tremendously. My knowledge of what other women have posted, is that the say they only want to hear from men in a 10 mile radius (for example) and get flooded with matches from men within a 500 mile radius. Now they want a refund and don't trust these dating sites. What you are saying about women wanting a partner to be in close proxemity makes sense, but my experience shows me it's not the case. I have spent time on a # of dating sites and my experience has been that the exact opposite is true. Women do not want a man within throwing distance. The only women who have expressed interest in me have all been far away, if their location profiles are true.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 22, 2023 15:52:31 GMT -5
Many people on dating sites will misstate their location in an effort to deter stalkers. It could be that the women expressing an interest are closer then what their profile implies. Why not just go with the flow and see if they are closer. I first though you were way off base with this line of thought. Then today I got a message from a woman showing her residing in a large city in mid-state NY. But she was attractive so I answered and we began talking. Turns out she is much closer than NY. Not very close but perhaps 500 miles closer that NY. Admitterly this never occured to me.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 21, 2023 10:47:44 GMT -5
Back about 8-10 yrs ago I posted my experience on Plenty of Fish about only getting interest in me from women who live far from me, often hundreds of miles. While at the same time recieving no interest from the females who lived much closer. I couldn't understand it until Apocrypha came up with a rational. In either case the women, close or far away, were insuring there would be little or no likelyhood of actually having to enter into a relatonship. It made sense. Now 8-10 yrs later I find exactly the same thing occuring on the Our Time site. Women within 20-30 miles have no interest it seems and at the same time I get lots of likes and messages from women who are again many miles away, often hundres of miles. The twist on the women on Our Time that are far away is that, they often state they are willing to relocate. Interesting considering we have not even engaged in a real ( albeit electronic) conversation. Now the women on Our Time seem to be a higher quality of female, but thay share this same characteristic with their poorer sisters at POF. They don't show much interest unless they are far, far away.
The pros are becoming more attractive every day.
And I am thinking I might do some exploring on the possibility of finding a polyamourous group(s) that are half way close to me, within 50 miles let's say. Probaly not much interest in a 74 yr. old, but all I need is one group or couple, or one woman asking me in.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 21, 2023 6:39:47 GMT -5
... The thing is, I have long since accepted that rejection is inevitable, it's just that since circumstances have me choosing to stay, and outsourcing is off the table, this is the only human I am legally permitted to touch right now and I am not ready to give up the pleasure of touching someone just to take a stand that will likely go un noticed anyway. I skimmed through your old threads and did not see anywhere the reason why "outsourcing is off the table". Adultery is only illegal in 16 states, so "legal" may not be a technically accurate term. In two of those, there's a $500 dollar fine, no jail time. Heck, that's like two visits to a hooker. (I think? Anyone know if there's a Groupon for that?) Where do you live mirrororchid that hookers are only $250 a pop? Here in my piece of NC the average cost of a 1hr liason is considerably higher.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 20, 2023 6:28:36 GMT -5
I will echo mirrororchid in asking, what is your long range game plan? In the short term you are outsourcing.Everyone needs both a short and long term plan. What's yours?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 20, 2023 6:24:36 GMT -5
You are right, I am playing by her rules to get a reward she will never give. But she has now developed a stomach ache, usual sign of when I kick back against her rules. If you are satisified that she is predisposed to a stomach ache when you kick back against her bullying, time to just ignore it and keep pushing back. Some rules are ment to be broken. The sooner and the more often you kick back against her bad rules the more your sense of pride in your accomplishment of asserting your independence will start to foster a better dynamic in your marriage. Better for you, not necessarily for her.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 19, 2023 10:41:23 GMT -5
I joined this site a day ago. I would like to message people but currently I can’t. Can anyone help me by explaining what I need to do? I’m happy to pay to be a member but I can’t find how to do this either! Perhaps it’s because I’m on my iPhone not a computer? Thanks!! I have the same problem... can reply and quote but can't send new messages. If you scroll up this posting you will see both mine and mirrorchid's instructions for sending a message. You can also scroll down the Thread Summary here and see our responses.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 18, 2023 7:05:25 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 17, 2023 6:05:01 GMT -5
Your W is not unique in her persuit of viewing her favorite sport. My X is passonate about (American) football. She has a team jersey she wore when watching it while we were still married. She is still a fan so Sunday afternoon and Monday night are set aside for professional football. I was OK with this because I am also a fan but to a much lesser extent. I didn't have to wait on her but but like your misses, conversation, physical interaction was strictly off the table. In my opinion your stock would quadrouple in value if you mustered the courage to bring in a pro to get some sweet nookie.In all probability your W would go balastic, but it might be worth the fallout to assert your independence from her tryrany.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 15, 2023 15:51:29 GMT -5
May I ask if the option for you to have a FWB has ever been discussed? As your W is physically impaired and unable to enjoy intimacy has she offeded any explaination or rational for not encouraging you to get your needs met elsewhere? And is it's the case, why is oral off the table? I am of of coarse assuming she is against such an approach. Perhaps you are not inclined to go in that direction either. And I can certainly empathise with your unfortunate status when a small ray of hope appears and is suddenly snuffed out. It has been mentioned, but never explicit ‘permission’ given. For me though, it just isn’t the same. Extramural activity, to me, is just sex for the sake of sex, not satisfying, gets the job done though. Oral? Certainly would satisfy me, it is the intimacy I crave, sex doesn’t have to involve piv. If that happens, great, not the be all and end all though. May I ask....what is wrong with sex for the sake of sex, especially if it gets the job done ? You say it would be "ultimately unsatisfying". How is it you are so sure. If you had a FWB over an extended period of time how do you know the intimacy shared with her would not ultimately take on a meaning that you found " satisfying"?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 8, 2023 8:01:44 GMT -5
It's a good thing to stay aware of those red flags, and judge accordingly. Some people are undatable, some are not relationship material, and some are. My condolences on the loss of a friend, however idiosyncratic she was. I'm currently learning more and more about being friend-zoned. The dance community ( and other hobbies,activities that are highly recommended after a divorce,widow, and recovery from a SM) What signs to look for,and when to move on, while being content at remaining single. . I could go on, and on, but I hope as you read this, you get the point. Welcome to being a senior citizen......I have been really trying to find a new love interest or partner for the last 3-4 months. After being on a # of dating sites I thought I had found the right one for me in "Our Time" Lots of attractive ladies who live near and relative,y close and are in my age demographic. Fixed my sights on 2 of them to persue. Talked with them both for over a month but couldn't get a meet scheduled with either. Then suddenly they both "ghost" me. The thought that perhaps women over a certain age are rarely interested in much more than friendship is constantly rearing it'e ugly head. So another red flag I think is that, if a woman doesn't show interest in meeting after a couple weeks, she is likely looking for something that doesn't involve intimacy. But all is not lost. A couple ladies who live a bit farther away seem intersted in me. So I will maybe end up driving more than I would have liked, but if that is what it takes then that's what i will do.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 6, 2023 14:17:00 GMT -5
This is pretty close to being an accurate protrayal of my 1st W 40 yrs. ago. Attachments:
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