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Post by northstarmom on Jan 7, 2019 13:27:53 GMT -5
Shammy said: “ It kept me there for many many years past the true death of the marriage (which was actually stillborn). The reason I stick around here isn't some kind of victory lap, but to point out to others how much more is possible if you're willing to sieze it.
Believe me, I empathize. You also had the wisdom to leave your marriage years decades before I had the courage and confidence to leave mine.
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Post by isthisit on Jan 7, 2019 16:04:05 GMT -5
The reason I stick around here isn't some kind of victory lap, but to point out to others how much more is possible if you're willing to sieze it. It is a process, though. shamwow I massively appreciate you and others here sticking around for the benefit of brothers and sisters somewhat further behind on the journey. I never perceive this in any way other than sincere and altruistic encouragement of others. As someone on the ‘precipice’ of an exit it gives me courage and hope that the pain to come will be worth it. Many thanks for your time and effort, and lucky, lucky you and BOC for your love story. I couldn’t be happier for you both.
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Post by sadkat on Jan 7, 2019 19:41:12 GMT -5
The reason I stick around here isn't some kind of victory lap, but to point out to others how much more is possible if you're willing to sieze it. It is a process, though. shamwow I massively appreciate you and others here sticking around for the benefit of brothers and sisters somewhat further behind on the journey. I never perceive this in any way other than sincere and altruistic encouragement of others. As someone on the ‘precipice’ of an exit it gives me courage and hope that the pain to come will be worth it. Many thanks for your time and effort, and lucky, lucky you and BOC for your love story. I couldn’t be happier for you both. I agree 100%. I enjoy hearing from you shamwow! It gives me so much hope for a better future! Not to mention your wisdom gained from experience is priceless! I am very happy for the love you and boc have found. At this point in my life, I can only hope for something similar.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 7, 2019 19:46:39 GMT -5
isthisit said: "The reason I stick around here isn't some kind of victory lap, but to point out to others how much more is possible if you're willing to sieze it."
A reason I stick around is so that I remember how terrible it was being in my SM. Remembering this helps me appreciate the life I have now. I don't want to take my current life for granted.
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Post by baza on Jan 7, 2019 22:49:36 GMT -5
My motives in hanging around are selfish. Like Sister northstarmom I don't want to take my life with Ms enna for granted, and this group is the best thing out for keeping one grounded.
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Post by Dan on Jan 8, 2019 0:27:54 GMT -5
Does anyone know a dating site where I don’t have to give my email address to the site? I don’t want that revealed. I just want to view girls in my area and maybe go on a date. Point 1: If you are looking for extramarital dating on a site that is basically for singles, you have a bigger problem, as women there probably won't want to date a married guy (and will have their radar up for it). If you are looking for extramarital dating on a site that supports that activity, then everyone is going to be somewhat aware that privacy is a thing. Of course, use an email account that is IN NO WAY connected to your real life... but a login attached to an email address how any site works. (In fact, most make it difficult to share your email address! No kidding: I've seen email addresses obliterated from PMs, and obscured even in profile photos. Why? Because people are paying to be on these sites, and they prefer them to PM exclusively ON the site.) Your bigger worry is a whole-sale data breach (ala Ashley Madison). But, again, DON'T use your "real" email address. Point 2: If you strike up enough of an online relationship that the other party wants to meet you... you are going to -- cautiously but honestly -- reveal enough about the "real you" that the woman you are meeting feels safe, and that she can trust you. In my case: once I had established chemistry that this relationship might go somewhere and we were ready to meet (and that meeting was -- in effect -- an "interview" to start a sexual relationship), I would offer my real name, my real place of work, etc. After all, if she couldn't trust me, it wasn't going to work. If I couldn't trust her with my name, why would I get sexually involved with her?
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 8, 2019 5:01:51 GMT -5
My motives for hanging around are because I feel in debt to the community. I wish something like this had been available to me early on. I hope I can be a positive influence on others with the same sorts of issues.
Dittos on the honesty. You want to appear attractive to potential mates, and being flagged as a bullshit artist is about as unattractive as one can get. If you are still married, be clear about that up front. It will be a negative for some, and for others not.
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Post by Dan on Jan 9, 2019 8:22:31 GMT -5
Does anyone know a dating site where I don’t have to give my email address to the site? I don’t want that revealed. I just want to view girls in my area and maybe go on a date. If you want to meet women in social settings, there is another option: get involved in a Meetup group in some interest of yours. Go out in public and hang out with people who like stuff that you like. Some of them will be women. Chat, socialize, make friends. That is one way -- in your words -- to "view girls" while you are doing that shared activity. After you make some new female friends, you may find some are women in similar unhappy marriages. Some might be singles willing to spend time with a married guy. Maybe all this will lead to a relationship. Some Meetups are specifically oriented at singles and dating, but most are not. If you haven't heard of Meetup before, I write about it here so much that I made a whole post/thread about it.
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Post by tirefire on Jan 13, 2019 9:56:12 GMT -5
My motivation for coming back here -admittedly not very frequently- is to give back to such a supportive community. It also reminds me how far I've come while I wind through the phases of this divorce.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 13, 2019 10:41:01 GMT -5
My motivation for coming back here -admittedly not very frequently- is to give back to such a supportive community. It also reminds me how far I've come while I wind through the phases of this divorce. You can come back here and talk about the phases of the divorce. I did. It was very helpful for me, and hopefully others as well. Ask away ,if you need to, and give and receive advice, and praise. press on friend!
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Post by workingonit on Jan 14, 2019 15:15:49 GMT -5
It is SO helpful to have you all still on here. SO helpful!
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Post by michael on Jan 17, 2019 8:13:40 GMT -5
Does anyone know a dating site where I don’t have to give my email address to the site? I don’t want that revealed. I just want to view girls in my area and maybe go on a date. If you want to meet women in social settings, there is another option: get involved in a Meetup group in some interest of yours. Go out in public and hang out with people who like stuff that you like. Some of them will be women. Chat, socialize, make friends. That is one way -- in your words -- to "view girls" while you are doing that shared activity. After you make some new female friends, you may find some are women in similar unhappy marriages. Some might be singles willing to spend time with a married guy. Maybe all this will lead to a relationship. Some Meetups are specifically oriented at singles and dating, but most are not. If you haven't heard of Meetup before, I write about it here so much that I made a whole post/thread about it. Okay. Thanks.
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