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Post by lwoetin on Mar 14, 2018 15:37:07 GMT -5
My heart breaks for those of ypu who had deep connections and intimacy with your spouses but then it dried up, stopped and other areas of life turned sour too. It also is my reminder nothing is a guarantee, and that's why I stick around. I love my now, non-SM husband so much, I can't imagine us being sexless, but if it did end up that way, I don't know. I think I'd be thankful for all my sexy memories and choose to stay and stay faithful. But I'm in the second half of my life, so perhaps that's easier for me to say. Also, that's barring everything else stays positive between us: connected, respectful, sharing joys, intimate (if not sexually, still all the other ways), affectionate, enjoy each other. I can't imagine all of those traits being in place and not being sexual at some level, though, to the best of each person's health as we age. Love is hard. I still think it's worth it. yeah, we might as well face it together on a new forum called I'm Addicted To Love In A Sexless Marriage. Two, perhaps three brave members.
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Post by WindSister on Mar 14, 2018 18:50:50 GMT -5
My heart breaks for those of ypu who had deep connections and intimacy with your spouses but then it dried up, stopped and other areas of life turned sour too. It also is my reminder nothing is a guarantee, and that's why I stick around. I love my now, non-SM husband so much, I can't imagine us being sexless, but if it did end up that way, I don't know. I think I'd be thankful for all my sexy memories and choose to stay and stay faithful. But I'm in the second half of my life, so perhaps that's easier for me to say. Also, that's barring everything else stays positive between us: connected, respectful, sharing joys, intimate (if not sexually, still all the other ways), affectionate, enjoy each other. I can't imagine all of those traits being in place and not being sexual at some level, though, to the best of each person's health as we age. Love is hard. I still think it's worth it. yeah, we might as well face it together on a new forum called I'm Addicted To Love In A Sexless Marriage. Two, perhaps three brave members. Hey, I am banking on NOT ending up in another SM.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 14, 2018 19:00:14 GMT -5
yeah, we might as well face it together on a new forum called I'm Addicted To Love In A Sexless Marriage. Two, perhaps three brave members. Hey, I am banking on NOT ending up in another SM. it was only a hypothetical. Of course it won't happen to you, or me.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 15, 2018 19:27:52 GMT -5
Count me in among The Evangelical No Sex Before Marriage victims. I married him despite the red flags because I WANTED TO GET LAID. I wanted to get laid. I didn't even get laid on my wedding night. This would be fucking hilarious if it wasn't my life. this was me too. no sex on the wedding night at all. we ate lunch with my family, he dropped me off at the apartment, and went to go and pray at the Masjid. He came home later that night, and he said he didn't know how he was going to do this. And then ........ we didn't have sex until the next afternoon.
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Post by choosinghappy on Mar 15, 2018 20:14:28 GMT -5
Count me as another no-sex-on-wedding-night member. (And only sex on honeymoon when I initiated and did all the “work”.) Hmm, might be interesting to see how many of us fall into this category...
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Post by johnwyo1 on Mar 15, 2018 20:34:17 GMT -5
Count me as another no-sex-on-wedding-night member. (And only sex on honeymoon when I initiated and did all the “work”.) Hmm, might be interesting to see how many of us fall into this category... Me too. I was ready but we were both exhausted and she was on her period. So, I don't fault her or me. Just a foreshadowing?!
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Post by saarinista on Mar 16, 2018 10:52:03 GMT -5
Actually I've heard a lot of places that not having sex on the wedding night is very common, especially these days when almost everybody has had sex before the wedding.
Another factor that comes into play is our society's, in my humble opinion, sick obsession with having the perfect Megabucks wedding. it leaves so many people stressed out and exhausted by the time the big day gets there that sex is the last thing on their minds that night.
There's another perversion, if you will, of what marriage should be. it's turned into being more about the WEDDING than the marriage itself, thanks to what I call are "Bridal industrial complex " which has turned so many women into Bridezillas instead of sex goddesses. 😛 But that's another story
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saxby
New Member
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Post by saxby on Mar 17, 2018 17:02:32 GMT -5
She bullied me into it. We already had one kid and she wanted the same name as the kid.
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Post by Carol on Mar 17, 2018 22:11:29 GMT -5
I loved him. I remember coming home from the party we met at thinking “I just met my husband tonight”. I pretty much told him a few months into dating that marriage is something I wanted and at 26 wasn’t going to waste my time with someone who wasn’t on the same page. He was totally agreeable to everything. We were engaged a year later. I really wanted him as a part of my life. We stopped having sex about a month before our wedding, to build the excitement for our honeymoon. Big mistake. Sex on the honeymoon seemed weird to me. When all the wedding stuff died down, it pretty much when back to normal. About 2 yrs later, I was having a hard time with my depression. I felt fat, ugly and not sexy. So sex took a backseat so I could deal with my issues. When I started to feel bettering about myself is when he started refusing me. It just went downhill from there. 15 years later here I am, living in a sexless marriage. The thing is I still really like him, but any sexual attraction I had for him is long gone.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2018 18:10:33 GMT -5
I got married for the right reasons. The same reasons that I would get married again if I was single. I dont regret getting married and I am not mad at myself or feel that I made a mistake.
We were compatible and still are in most ways. people change and often it is not predictable.
I had relationships before so I knew all about what I wanted and was realistic about what to expect. There were no red flags that I could see then nor that I can see in retrospect.
she changed. Did I change? maybe.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 20, 2018 20:48:16 GMT -5
Here's another reason I got married. My nights where going to be FILLED with sex and intimacy with a woman, my wife!
I think back about how many days seemed wasted! Days that I was out the door before sunrise and home after sunset. Mostly stuck in a building and having no idea of what went on outside my "work world".
Then I got to do it again the next day. Maybe, maybe, I would have a date night once a week every few months.
Marriage was going to fix all that! I was guaranteed to have a woman with me every night. Long hours at work were not going to be so bad. I was going to have someone to come home to!
That's exactly what I received.
Sadly you know the rest 😒
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Post by iceman on Apr 3, 2018 15:33:44 GMT -5
I thought I was in love her and she with me. Looking back I think I was on the rebound from my divorce and very lonely. My now-wife seemed to actual like me and seemed to be in love with me. That was very intoxicating. I was sure I was never going to find anyone to love again and i didn’t want to lose her. In my mind at the time when you are in love the natural progression was to get married. And if I married her I’d never lose her. This all even though I had no problem finding women to date, and to have sex with. That part makes no sense to me. Why the rush? I knew when I said ‘I do’ that it wasn’t right but did it anyway. I convinced myself we could make it work. What an idiot I was .....
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