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Post by flounder on Jan 24, 2018 12:10:43 GMT -5
Your husband,not you.
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 24, 2018 12:23:14 GMT -5
LOL. It's a pretty cold move.
You guys. Check out this story. It's good. I promise:
Here's the backstory. On my 40th birthday, I asked him to show up for me because my sister died at the same age and I knew I'd be emotional. Somehow we managed to find ourselves in different states (again). On a phone call that night, he did not wish me a happy birthday.
The next day, I said simply, "It made me sad you didn't wish me a happy birthday or send a card. I checked the mail and there was nothing there."
He said it would've made him uncomfortable to "bring up my birthday" because he knows I'm sensitive about getting older.
Okay.
For two weeks, I asked him if it'd be okay if he'd send a card. Finally, at the two week post-40th birthday mark, he left a card on my nightstand.
Nine months after therapy and learning to love myself, I bought myself a birthday present -- a ring -- to remind myself that I'm going to have my own back. Somehow, nine months after my birthday on the same week I bought my ring, The Husband showed up with a gift and an apology.
FUCK HIS CARDS.
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 24, 2018 12:55:38 GMT -5
LOL. It's a pretty cold move. You guys. Check out this story. It's good. I promise:
Here's the backstory. On my 40th birthday, I asked him to show up for me because my sister died at the same age and I knew I'd be emotional. Somehow we managed to find ourselves in different states (again). On a phone call that night, he did not wish me a happy birthday. The next day, I said simply, "It made me sad you didn't wish me a happy birthday or send a card. I checked the mail and there was nothing there." He said it would've made him uncomfortable to "bring up my birthday" because he knows I'm sensitive about getting older. Okay. For two weeks, I asked him if it'd be okay if he'd send a card. Finally, at the two week post-40th birthday mark, he left a card on my nightstand. Nine months after therapy and learning to love myself, I bought myself a birthday present -- a ring -- to remind myself that I'm going to have my own back. Somehow, nine months after my birthday on the same week I bought my ring, The Husband showed up with a gift and an apology. FUCK HIS CARDS. That’s a shit story. I don’t mean your stories are shit what I mean is, what a tool for not having the courage to help you celebrate your birthday. Sounds like a feeble excuse to me. When I read the bit about buying your own present I immediately made a comparison in my mind between that and having an affair. Basically affairs for the most part happen not because the offender is an arsehole or a bitch but because as you say “you need to have your own back”. Whenever your last birthday was....happy birthday 🎂
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 24, 2018 13:06:59 GMT -5
rejected101Thank you. But let's all sit a minute and take stock that an internet stranger wished me a happy birthday and I feel happy and grateful. That's fucked up. You guys, I have to confess. I've been drinking the entire week. I've never had a problem with addiction (unless you count an addiction to approval). I'll get my shit together, and since I own a pharmacy, I could be doing a lot worse shit. But this is just pathetic. I'm bleeding all over the internet. Gah.
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 24, 2018 13:23:08 GMT -5
rejected101Thank you. But let's all sit a minute and take stock that an internet stranger wished me a happy birthday and I feel happy and grateful. That's fucked up. You guys, I have to confess. I've been drinking the entire week. I've never had a problem with addiction (unless you count an addiction to approval). I'll get my shit together, and since I own a pharmacy, I could be doing a lot worse shit. But this is just pathetic. I'm bleeding all over the internet. Gah. Firstly, not that I am your father or anything, but be careful with the drink thing as it’s a slippery slope. I mean that out of pure Internet stranger friendship 😂 and secondly you are not the only one with an addiction (I prefer the word desire) for approval and a desire to be wanted/valued by our spouses. Bleeding all over the Internet is perfectly fine by the way as sometimes you need to bleed a little to identify exactly where the wound is. I’m sure I speak for many people on here when I say ‘stay strong girl’!!!!
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 24, 2018 13:24:28 GMT -5
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 24, 2018 13:26:48 GMT -5
“But let's all sit a minute and take stock that an internet stranger wished me a happy birthday and I feel happy and grateful.
That's fucked up. “
No it’s not. First, you have a relationship with people here. While we don’t know you in person, we have a connection beyond what many have with close friends and relatives in real life.
You tend to put yourself down a lot.
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 24, 2018 13:32:03 GMT -5
Thank you. I'm trying to grow and develop, and you guys are pointing out stuff. Keep it coming. I crave the self-actualization more than my ego. Thank you....[tears]. I appreciate the directness and frankness and time you all have spent on me. It's not wasted. I'm listening. And changing.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2018 13:46:12 GMT -5
Birthday, Valentine's Day, Columbus Day, Good Friday, Boxing Day, whatever.....None of them matter to the sexless spouse other than that they provide stress in the form of the other person's expectation that a special day also includes sex. My spouse is noticeably avoidant on those days and always has been. Luckily for her, I no longer expect a thing so wa-la no stress for her. The biggest consolation is that at least I don't get my hopes up like I used to. I get it now. It sucks but I get it.
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 14:31:59 GMT -5
I’m thinking that I may just wrap the [unopened] massage oil she gave me for Christmas and give it to her for Valentines Day. Then we could gift it back and forth for years without opening it. It’s either that, or it gets put on the self with the unused dildo I bought her a decade ago that’s on top of an unopened foreplay board game I purchased a decade before that.
Yeah. I’m readying my exit.
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Post by h on Jan 24, 2018 14:56:08 GMT -5
I’m thinking that I may just wrap the [unopened] massage oil she gave me for Christmas and give it to her for Valentines Day. Then we could gift it back and forth for years without opening it. It’s either that, or it gets put on the self with the unused dildo I bought her a decade ago that’s on top of an unopened foreplay board game I purchased a decade before that. Yeah. I’m readying my exit. What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers.
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Post by lostintime on Jan 24, 2018 19:35:01 GMT -5
These stories sound horrible. I am new to this forum and just wanted to say I’m sorry you had such a bad experiences and that I should really stop complaining about my sex life. Good luck to all of you!
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Post by baza on Jan 24, 2018 19:53:49 GMT -5
I’m thinking that I may just wrap the [unopened] massage oil she gave me for Christmas and give it to her for Valentines Day. Then we could gift it back and forth for years without opening it. It’s either that, or it gets put on the self with the unused dildo I bought her a decade ago that’s on top of an unopened foreplay board game I purchased a decade before that. Yeah. I’m readying my exit. What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Just had a flashback from years ago Brother h . Thought you might get a laugh out of it. It is about 20 years ago, and we have been given "Trivial Pursuit" some time before and it has laid, pristine and unopened for ages. I get it into my head that a game of it might be fun. Missus agrees. I open the packet, set up the board with all those little markers and all and set up the whole thing on the table, inclusive of coffees and snacks. My turn to ask the opening question - and I remember that question exactly - even after all these years - "Who was Richard Kimbles quarry in the tv series and film "The Fugitive" ? "What ?" she says, so I repeat it. "No idea" she says. So I read out the answer "The One Armed Man" She explodes, suggesting I read the question out wrong and that a "quarry" is where you dig out rocks and I was cheating and guilty of other assorted crimes against humanity. Ballistic reaction. Box packed up. Put away, never to be seen again. A few days silence ensues. Possibly a contender for "Shortest Game of Trivial Pursuit" ever. I ought add that this sort of shit used to happen all the time.
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 20:22:41 GMT -5
What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Just had a flashback from years ago Brother h . Thought you might get a laugh out of it. It is about 20 years ago, and we have been given "Trivial Pursuit" some time before and it has laid, pristine and unopened for ages. I get it into my head that a game of it might be fun. Missus agrees. I open the packet, set up the board with all those little markers and all and set up the whole thing on the table, inclusive of coffees and snacks. My turn to ask the opening question - and I remember that question exactly - even after all these years - "Who was Richard Kimbles quarry in the tv series and film "The Fugitive" ? "What ?" she says, so I repeat it. "No idea" she says. So I read out the answer "The One Armed Man" She explodes, suggesting I read the question out wrong and that a "quarry" is where you dig out rocks and I was cheating and guilty of other assorted crimes against humanity. Ballistic reaction. Box packed up. Put away, never to be seen again. A few days silence ensues. Possibly a contender for "Shortest Game of Trivial Pursuit" ever. I ought add that this sort of shit used to happen all the time. So Scrabble was out too? Lol
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 20:23:48 GMT -5
These stories sound horrible. I am new to this forum and just wanted to say I’m sorry you had such a bad experiences and that I should really stop complaining about my sex life. Good luck to all of you! lostintime, just because your story is different doesn’t mean your pain is any less real.
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