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Post by h on Jan 24, 2018 21:06:14 GMT -5
What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Just had a flashback from years ago Brother h . Thought you might get a laugh out of it. It is about 20 years ago, and we have been given "Trivial Pursuit" some time before and it has laid, pristine and unopened for ages. I get it into my head that a game of it might be fun. Missus agrees. I open the packet, set up the board with all those little markers and all and set up the whole thing on the table, inclusive of coffees and snacks. My turn to ask the opening question - and I remember that question exactly - even after all these years - "Who was Richard Kimbles quarry in the tv series and film "The Fugitive" ? "What ?" she says, so I repeat it. "No idea" she says. So I read out the answer "The One Armed Man" She explodes, suggesting I read the question out wrong and that a "quarry" is where you dig out rocks and I was cheating and guilty of other assorted crimes against humanity. Ballistic reaction. Box packed up. Put away, never to be seen again. A few days silence ensues. Possibly a contender for "Shortest Game of Trivial Pursuit" ever. I ought add that this sort of shit used to happen all the time. We're both good sports and play card games and board games all the time. We actually DO get along pretty well in that respect. Monopoly, Risk, Uno, Rummy, and several others. No hard feelings or sore losers. Also the odd video games here and there but usually cooperative rather than competitive ones. Still wondering though about what game brian was talking about...
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 21:38:13 GMT -5
Just had a flashback from years ago Brother h . Thought you might get a laugh out of it. It is about 20 years ago, and we have been given "Trivial Pursuit" some time before and it has laid, pristine and unopened for ages. I get it into my head that a game of it might be fun. Missus agrees. I open the packet, set up the board with all those little markers and all and set up the whole thing on the table, inclusive of coffees and snacks. My turn to ask the opening question - and I remember that question exactly - even after all these years - "Who was Richard Kimbles quarry in the tv series and film "The Fugitive" ? "What ?" she says, so I repeat it. "No idea" she says. So I read out the answer "The One Armed Man" She explodes, suggesting I read the question out wrong and that a "quarry" is where you dig out rocks and I was cheating and guilty of other assorted crimes against humanity. Ballistic reaction. Box packed up. Put away, never to be seen again. A few days silence ensues. Possibly a contender for "Shortest Game of Trivial Pursuit" ever. I ought add that this sort of shit used to happen all the time. We're both good sports and play card games and board games all the time. We actually DO get along pretty well in that respect. Monopoly, Risk, Uno, Rummy, and several others. No hard feelings or sore losers. Also the odd video games here and there but usually cooperative rather than competitive ones. Still wondering though about what game brian was talking about... I’ll post a pic of it after I get my kids to bed
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Post by choosinghappy on Jan 24, 2018 21:50:25 GMT -5
I’m thinking that I may just wrap the [unopened] massage oil she gave me for Christmas and give it to her for Valentines Day. Then we could gift it back and forth for years without opening it. It’s either that, or it gets put on the self with the unused dildo I bought her a decade ago that’s on top of an unopened foreplay board game I purchased a decade before that. Yeah. I’m readying my exit. What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Hahaha! Oh god, I am just picturing the horrified reaction of all our sex-averse spouses if they were to open a game based around group sex. LOL priceless.
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 24, 2018 22:25:07 GMT -5
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 22:26:19 GMT -5
I’m thinking that I may just wrap the [unopened] massage oil she gave me for Christmas and give it to her for Valentines Day. Then we could gift it back and forth for years without opening it. It’s either that, or it gets put on the self with the unused dildo I bought her a decade ago that’s on top of an unopened foreplay board game I purchased a decade before that. Yeah. I’m readying my exit. What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Okay... link here. Sorry to everyone not a member... become a member to view.
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Post by brian on Jan 24, 2018 22:27:50 GMT -5
What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Hahaha! Oh god, I am just picturing the horrified reaction of all our sex-averse spouses if they were to open a game based around group sex. LOL priceless. Just the look of disdain on my roomie's face with this game was priceless. At the time though, it was soul-crushing. Looking back, just par for the course with everything else I tried over the years.
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Post by h on Jan 24, 2018 22:41:38 GMT -5
What board game? Wife and I bought one together years ago but it never got played. Didn't know when we ordered it but it was more of a "group" game for exhibitionists or swingers. Hahaha! Oh god, I am just picturing the horrified reaction of all our sex-averse spouses if they were to open a game based around group sex. LOL priceless. Yeah, we actually picked it out together during our earlier years married so we were both kind of surprised. Not what either of us expected. Description online said 2-4 players. Instructions in the box said 2-4 couples. Awkward!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2018 23:28:06 GMT -5
You guys, I have to confess. I've been drinking the entire week. I've never had a problem with addiction (unless you count an addiction to approval). I'll get my shit together, and since I own a pharmacy, I could be doing a lot worse shit. But this is just pathetic. I'm bleeding all over the internet. Gah. Be gentle with yourself surfergirl. I think we often fear our emotions so much that we do whatever we can to numb them. Please don’t be afraid to feel your feelings. They’ll hurt but they won’t kill you. I’ve been badly hurt in my life by individuals with alcohol problems. It doesn’t take much use to develop a dependency and you don’t have to start drinking at noon to have a problem. Alcohol is the most socially-acceptable drug. But it’s still just that, an addictive drug. With 5 kids swirling around you, I’m sure some of them are noticing. Be careful with it, ok? I hope you’re sharing everything (the good, the bad, & the ugly) with your counselor. You breezed in here so rapidly and you seem to be spinning still. Please get help. We’re here for you but there’s no substitute for good therapy. You’re going to get through this. And we’re here cheering!
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Post by obobfla on Jan 25, 2018 0:31:37 GMT -5
rejected101 Thank you. But let's all sit a minute and take stock that an internet stranger wished me a happy birthday and I feel happy and grateful. That's fucked up. You guys, I have to confess. I've been drinking the entire week. I've never had a problem with addiction (unless you count an addiction to approval). I'll get my shit together, and since I own a pharmacy, I could be doing a lot worse shit. But this is just pathetic. I'm bleeding all over the internet. Gah. Since I have a lot of experience in drinking too much, let me give you my insight. It’s not the drinking that disturbs me. It’s the self-pity. That is dangerous when it’s combined with alcohol. I used up my alcohol quota for a lifetime by the time I was 35. Been sober for 23 years and maintained it while being married to someone with a serious mental illness. I’m not saying that to brag but to qualify my experience. The most dangerous thing in the world for me is self-pity. I can either change my situation or accept it for what it is and live with it. I stayed in my marriage because my wife needed me, and I cared for her too much to leave her while she suffered. Sure I felt trapped, but I chose to stay in that trap. Now that she has died, I will move forward on my own terms. I have bled all over the Internet, but many folks in cyber land have provided me band-aids. While I have run into a lot of fakes (particularly on dating sites), I’ve discovered some real people. Two of them were lovers who actually cared for me and made my life better. Surfergirl, if you think you have a drinking problem, then stop in an AA meeting and check it out. If you go and are interested in joining, find a woman you can relate to who seems to get the program. Now excuse the all caps. DO NOT GO TALK TO THE MEN IN AA. A lot of men will want to help you in hopes that you will be grateful and shower you with affection. I confess, I have been one of them. You don’t really need that right now. You need someone who will be real with you. But there is a good chance that you aren’t an alcoholic. You do want attention. We all do, especially the sexual kind. You’re in a terrible soul crushing marriage, so that’s understandable. But you are pretty and financially secure. You have all you need to get out of your situation and find what you want. I am ok looking but not rich, and neither looks nor money have gotten me far. It’s my pains and failures that I have shared with others that have carried me.
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Post by lostintime on Jan 25, 2018 9:50:15 GMT -5
These stories sound horrible. I am new to this forum and just wanted to say I’m sorry you had such a bad experiences and that I should really stop complaining about my sex life. Good luck to all of you! lostintime , just because your story is different doesn’t mean your pain is any less real. Thanks for kind words. Things can always get better or worse. I would like to say that I should appreciate what I have, and I do, but for some reason....It feels like I was cheated and received what I was ....
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 25, 2018 13:12:38 GMT -5
Thank you for pointing that out. Like @elle said, I'm spinning. More like, thrashing around.
Today is my anniversary, and I've stayed stuck for 21 years. I feel angry and sad and frustrated with myself. I guess I expect more out of myself-- that I would FIX this. People call me when stuff needs to get done. (Ugh....as if anyone gives a fuck about my image. What a prick I am.) Then I ignored my very own basic needs. I thought I was going to live a good life.
And I'm drinking alone on my anniversary and typing on the internet for work so that nobody will notice. Everyone thinks I'm MIA because I'm sick. And to be fair and "noble", I've had the flu (not joking) all week so that's why my kids and collegues aren't suspicious....yet.
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Post by lostintime on Jan 25, 2018 15:20:20 GMT -5
Thank you for pointing that out. Like @elle said, I'm spinning. More like, thrashing around. Today is my anniversary, and I've stayed stuck for 21 years. I feel angry and sad and frustrated with myself. I guess I expect more out of myself-- that I would FIX this. People call me when stuff needs to get done. (Ugh....as if anyone gives a fuck about my image. What a prick I am.) Then I ignored my very own basic needs. I thought I was going to live a good life. And I'm drinking alone on my anniversary and typing on the internet for work so that nobody will notice. Everyone thinks I'm MIA because I'm sick. And to be fair and "noble", I've had the flu (not joking) all week so that's why my kids and collegues aren't suspicious....yet. Happy anniversary! I hope you find what you looking for as its not easy to go through life and be able care and help everyone around you and not being able to help yourself. Alcohol does not do a thing for me...after 4 or 5 drinks I feel sick and my mind stays clear. It does not relax me or help me forget things.
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Post by obobfla on Jan 25, 2018 17:49:17 GMT -5
Thank you for pointing that out. Like @elle said, I'm spinning. More like, thrashing around. Today is my anniversary, and I've stayed stuck for 21 years. I feel angry and sad and frustrated with myself. I guess I expect more out of myself-- that I would FIX this. People call me when stuff needs to get done. (Ugh....as if anyone gives a fuck about my image. What a prick I am.) Then I ignored my very own basic needs. I thought I was going to live a good life. And I'm drinking alone on my anniversary and typing on the internet for work so that nobody will notice. Everyone thinks I'm MIA because I'm sick. And to be fair and "noble", I've had the flu (not joking) all week so that's why my kids and collegues aren't suspicious....yet. When I was typing my response to you, I kept on thinking of that children’s book The Velveteen Rabbit. Here’s a clip: Funny thing is, I have felt more real since my wife’s death. Maybe it’s because I don’t really care or sweat small stuff. I cried at work today. My boss mentioned he had a physical therapy appointment. I went back to my desk and thought of my wife getting physical therapy a couple months ago. One male PT got her to walk a couple of steps. He held her as she moved forward, almost like he was teaching her to dance. We were all so happy to see her take actual steps towards her recovery. But that never came. Instead, tears. Yes, becoming real can hurt.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 25, 2018 18:05:02 GMT -5
“The rest of the session we talked about Max, since he usually comes with us.”
How about leaving Max with a sitter so during the session you can both focus on your marriage. I think it’s meaningful that sex stopped with Max and now Max is becoming the center of your marriage counseling. No matter how well behaved Max is, in your counseling sessions, he is an easy focus to keep you from talking about your sm.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 25, 2018 18:14:15 GMT -5
“Ugh....as if anyone gives a fuck about my image. What a prick I am.”
Another example of how you put yourself down....
On the subject of your affair partner: when you reached out to him were you also imagining he and you eventually would become romantically involved and that would be your gateway to divorce?
Keep in mind that you were a married woman. Guys looking for a public girlfriend or eventual wife aren’t likely to view a married woman affair partner that way. They could view her as a way to have no strings easy sex, but for a relationship that’s deeper, they likely would want an unattached woman who hasn’t demonstrated a willingness to lie and cheat on a man she has vowed to have and to hold.
You will greatly raise your odds of attracting a long term relationship if you spend time in individual therapy figuring out how you chose to get in and stay in an unsatisfactory marriage. Divorce also would raise your odds of attracting a man who wants more than lays to tide him over until he finds a woman he wants a romantic relationship with.
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