|
Post by tiredoftears on Jan 23, 2018 17:55:24 GMT -5
So... Valentine's Day is coming up. I just wondered what people here have planned or usually do in a sexless relationship?
I ask because apparently, expecting sex just because both partners are physically able isn't on the table, hasn't been there last two years, why should it be this year? In counseling last week, he was supposed to have an answer as to why after we found out i was pregnant years ago, he suddenly started denying me sex, while spending hours on porn or chatting with cam girls, because our last counseling appointment at the begining of December, i told him it has been long enough, I want a real answer. So at the appointment, I asked, and he chuckled amd said he had forgotten to think about it. HE CHUCKLED!!! LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!! The counselor then let out a chuckle too, and I erupted. I screamed at him that hasn't had a mere month to think about this, he has had TWO FUCKING YEARS to think about this, and I expect a real fucking answer, a real fucking apology without stupid god damn excuses, and some fucking dick on Valentine's day this year, because if he ain't gonna put out, I WILL find someone somewhere to give me a good dicking down. (Most likely through craigslist)
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jan 23, 2018 18:23:27 GMT -5
I would have stood up and said "I'm done with you" then pointed to the therapist and said "and I'm done with you".
Save your money from the therapist and see an attorney.
|
|
|
Post by wom360 on Jan 23, 2018 18:35:49 GMT -5
I would have stood up and said "I'm done with you" then pointed to the therapist and said "and I'm done with you". Save your money from the therapist and see an attorney. Agreed. You’re wasting your time.
|
|
|
Post by wom360 on Jan 23, 2018 18:37:27 GMT -5
Why do I get the feeling OP is going to get a bunch of PMs?
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jan 23, 2018 18:38:16 GMT -5
His dick is probably not worth your time.
|
|
listedship
Junior Member
Posts: 38
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by listedship on Jan 23, 2018 18:38:22 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by surfergirl on Jan 23, 2018 18:43:47 GMT -5
tiredoftearsI’m so sorry. I don’t want you to end up like me—thousands of dollars poorer and years of your life wasted. I’ve outsourced and the temporary high was very.....temporary. There was also no satisfaction in the revenge. Just my experience. I’m only a few baby steps ahead of you. It was helpful, though, to fire both the marriage “therapist” and husband and hire an individual therapist to figure out why I put up with this shit.
|
|
|
Post by surfergirl on Jan 23, 2018 18:49:31 GMT -5
Why do I get the feeling OP is going to get a bunch of PMs? Just FYI. I’m not getting laid either.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jan 23, 2018 18:55:24 GMT -5
Pretty adventurous counselling session Sister tiredoftears . Anyway, if you are leaning toward the cheating option, usual suggestions apply. Treat it like a divorce situation - get your legal advice, exit strategy, support network and research into helping kids (if any) through such an event. Presumably, as you have clearly broadcast your intentions to your spouse, you are adopting a "cheat and fuck the consequences" strategy. Perfectly legitimate choice. The above suggestion may help in managing the likely fall out of this choice.
|
|
|
Post by wom360 on Jan 23, 2018 19:00:56 GMT -5
Why do I get the feeling OP is going to get a bunch of PMs? Just FYI. I’m not getting laid either. **checks pm’s**
|
|
|
Post by h on Jan 23, 2018 19:32:24 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Jan 23, 2018 20:27:26 GMT -5
“I want a real answer. So at the appointment, I asked, and he chuckled amd said he had forgotten to think about it. HE CHUCKLED!!! LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!! The counselor then let out a chuckle too, and I erupted. “
Fuck that therapy!get an individual therapist who doesn’t chuckle at your pain. And get a lawyer. You are wasting your time in marital therapy.
|
|
|
Post by brian on Jan 23, 2018 20:49:26 GMT -5
So sorry to hear tiredoftears. Nobody deserves to have their feelings dismissed in such a callous manner. I feel for you. To answer the question posed, I will probably be at a local bar on Valentines Day. I’m sure my roomie will be upset, but I’m going to be fucked one way or another. Might as well go out swinging at real opportunities.
|
|
|
Post by brian on Jan 23, 2018 21:02:54 GMT -5
So sorry to hear tiredoftears. Nobody deserves to have their feelings dismissed in such a callous manner. I feel for you. To answer the question posed, I will probably be at a local bar on Valentines Day. I’m sure my roomie will be upset, but I’m going to be fucked one way or another. Might as well go out swinging at real opportunities. But I may end up at home with a new toy that I purchase for myself.
|
|
|
Post by tiredoftears on Jan 23, 2018 21:04:40 GMT -5
I believe the counselor chuckled in amusement, because, much like I, she believed he would forget to think about the answer, and his response just verified her thoughts. She even said after my outburst that he tries to take the easy way out and if something id uncomfortable to him, he just doesn't think about it, and when he gets confronted, he just gets sheepish, or totally clams up, or goes into deer in headlights mode. She asked him what he thought about me taking another lover, but us continuing our relationship as it is, and he said he doesn't think that would be good for Max (our 19 month old).
She told him,"Well, she is letting you know where she stands, and giving you a time frame to respond in. How does that make you feel?"
He said something like, "Like I need to start plannimg something for Valentine's Day."
The rest of the session we talked about Max, since he usually comes with us.
|
|