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Post by aguywithneeds on Oct 15, 2017 21:25:34 GMT -5
So I'm not sure if this has been a topic on here before I honestly didn't take the time to look. I just wanted to share and here some opinions. So when I was getting ready to have the talk, I wanted to be informed and make sure I wasn't being a A hole about the whole thing, so I did some homework. Statistical couples have sex 1 time a week, I thought to myself that doesn't sound right, so I kept searching, and statistically 1-2 times a week is normal. So I am a part of another forum not at all related to this one, so I posted a thread and asked what's normal and reasonable amount of sex per week. I had about 30 replies, and of the 30 like 5 were 1-2 a week 2 were your boat the rest were surprisingly 5-7 days a week. I was pretty impressed, also kinda bummed out, like dam people have it like that, I started looking at my friend's differently, almost jealous, like dude y'all probably are going to leave dinner pick up the kids and go at it and then once again in the morning lol. So what is everyone's perspective of normal, obviously we all have missed the mark, but if you could put a number on it. I'd also like to here women's perspective, cause the other forum is like a guy thing, and we all try and guess what women want or are thinking lol. It just puzzles me, that so many people are doing awesome, even if they bicker they still have time for one another.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 15, 2017 21:34:51 GMT -5
I'm 66, my post sm lover of 4 years is 65. We usually have sex 3 times a week.when we first got together we had sex about. 3 times a day 3 times a week. If you google, you can find sex frequency stats by age.
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Post by workingonit on Oct 15, 2017 21:54:52 GMT -5
I am completely unqualified to answer. At our best we were 3-4 times a month. I have a friend who says usually every night. She says it is just part of their end of the day relaxing routine. So jealous.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 22:39:01 GMT -5
I am completely unqualified to answer. At our best we were 3-4 times a month. I have a friend who says usually every night. She says it is just part of their end of the day relaxing routine. So jealous. That is my dream life, someone who wants to make love at the end of every day, just to relax and unwind with ME. I have never had even close to that. And I’m on an 11 month dry spell now. (Things are going nowhere fast over here.) If I ever get another chance at a relationship, I think 2x/week is a minimum. Option for three. And then of course, my dream life...
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Oct 15, 2017 23:31:08 GMT -5
I would guess I am considered an ultra high libido, however in a perfect relationship I would like sex once or twice a day. Maybe skipping one day, when life happens but if I could choose I would love to start my day with an orgasm and get another session in sometime during the day/evening.
This does not always mean PIV, I love giving head and receiving personal stimulation as well. That is not to say I wouldn't mind extra special nights or weekend play times ...I just.. yeah, I just really, really like touching/pleasing/coming. I am an addict, I just wish I was married to my drug of choice.
My H and I are averaging about once every ten days (this is months of work and pain) of passion minimal sex and I am starting to feel the pangs of hunger. I want so much more than he can give me, than I think is possible in him. So I am technically not sexless anymore, but I was starving and now I get to eat dry oats for every meal. I want a steak and tiramisu... I want a BLT, these oats have me feeling thirsty.
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 16, 2017 0:09:51 GMT -5
I haven't had sex since I was 29. I'm currently 33. and the last time, I wasn't allowed to have an orgasm. He'd go through these times when he decided that its time for man only attention. And sometimes he decided that the female orgasm wasn't necessary for marital sex.
In the beginning we had sex 3-4 x a week, I think. And after only a couple of years of that, he complained about it. He couldn't study like he wanted to (religious studies) and so forth. After he left for 5 months, when he came back we only had sex once a week. it was quite painful. I thought I was dying then. hahahaha
then it was once every 2 weeks, 3 weeks, then once every 3-5 months.
and then nothing.
one year passed, two, three, four and now working on year 5.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2017 0:42:43 GMT -5
That is my dream life, someone who wants to make love at the end of every day, just to relax and unwind with ME. I have never had even close to that. And I’m on an 11 month dry spell now. (Things are going nowhere fast over here.) If I ever get another chance at a relationship, I think 2x/week is a minimum. Option for three. And then of course, my dream life... Elle, the way you put it...ME, that is the deal there. That is the reason I got married or ever dated in the first place. The ME,,,,, too vague? I am talking about me and her, a couple. Fuck the world when we have each other! Lets snuggle on the couch, fuck like crazy, shovel snow, go sailing....as long as it is us. I grew up in a place that seemed to be men had their lives and women had their lives, usually taking care of kids. (I am 57, so women were at home with the rug rats). At some point I realized that I wanted just one person to be with, heart and soul......No kids, just me and her.. I thought I found the one. Maybe I did but life intervened as if it was jealous. I wont let it ruin my life totally. But I do question what the hell I am doing now. Save
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 16, 2017 4:17:34 GMT -5
aguywithneeds, the problem is, those surveys report averages. It's useless data. I recall the average for around age 40 works out to about 10 times a month. But there are a lot of us who would be lucky to see once a month. Which means statistically for every sexless guy there's another dude out there seeing 20 times a month. Or two seeing 15x. Regardless, even more than the average. What might be more interesting to know is what is the 'mean' value amongst sexless relationships, and then healthy relationships. Personally, I think my sex drive should be pulling the national averages up, not down. I could be happy with 2x a week. Happier with 3x. I could realistically imagine 5-7x, but not everyday; rather, a couple times a day on weekends and every couple of days during the week. As for the couple who did every night... aside from the sex, that sounds like an incredibly intimate relationship. Sounds amazing. Can't even fathom it.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 16, 2017 4:28:31 GMT -5
5-7 days a week...wow...I could never have kept up that kind of pace even in my best years. In my 20's and 30's 2-3 times a week was right for me and my partners never ask for more. Perhaps because it takes me so long to reach an orgasm. Now at 68, 69 in a couple months, 1-2 times is about right. My current partner says when she was married it was every day for them, and he had a girlfriend on the side. Last week she told me she would like to make love every day again. Sorry baby, that would probably kill me or turn me into a refuser. Actually since she would like it every day maybe I am already a refuser.....
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 16, 2017 9:13:02 GMT -5
Statistics are a fine tool to predict quality levels in a repeatable process but they really suck in predictions involving messy human emotions. People lie, people project their fantasies, people just screw with the surveys (raising my hand). It is often cited that a sexless marriage is having sex less than 10 times per year. Says who? One government funded study from the prior century within which the researchers picked that number. I would suggest not giving a damn what anyone else is doing or not doing but only focus on our individual needs. If I want at least 2 times per week and I am only having sex only twice a month then I am in a sexless relationship by my personal definition. If my partner wants sex everyday and I can only provide once a week then I am in a sexless relationship by her definition.
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Post by aguywithneeds on Oct 16, 2017 11:27:02 GMT -5
I'm with everyone, honestly I could say everyday, I've done everyday for extended periods of time, past relationships and even in the beginning of my marriage. But now, this calendar year I've had sex once, last 2 years 6 times, 3 years maybe 10 times, so I can say it would be great for everyday, but shit idk if I could lol. Fantasy life would be a morning quicky and an evening long love making, reality 3-4 times a week spotted with oral and heavy petting. I asked for women's responses, because there's a Theory that after four or five years women loose interest in their SO, they stop viewing them as a viable sexual partner. Has something to do with reproduction, after that amount of time they stop seeing their partner as able to reproduce, it's weird, but I kinda bought into it alittle, just because all my kids are 4 years apart, sex life non-existent for 2 years after, year leading up to we get in the weekly bi weekly, the year of conception was 3-5 times a week. As soon as the pregnancy test said positive no sex for at least a year, then a couple pity lays until the cycle reset. Any who I do agree that there is to many variables, I figured a statistical average as 2-3, basically every other day, so to see the number so low, it only makes sense that for every sexless marriage there is a couple going every day.
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Post by h on Oct 16, 2017 11:33:49 GMT -5
If once a week is average then there's other people out there having way more than us. Surveys are depressing.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 14:39:32 GMT -5
When I was in my SM, the frequency ranged from every few weeks in the beginning to every few years at the end. Now that I'm out, I'm dating ballofconfusion and she lives half a continent away. One of us flies to see each other just about every other week (when we don't have our kids - we sync'ed our schedules). So I guess you could say that I have sex every other week. Except on Friday it is usually something like 3-4 times. Saturday, it is another 5-6 times. Sunday we usually hit a slowdown and it's maybe 3-4 times again. So I have no fucking idea how I'd answer that survey
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 19, 2017 14:48:16 GMT -5
When I was in my SM, the frequency ranged from every few weeks in the beginning to every few years at the end. Now that I'm out, I'm dating ballofconfusion and she lives half a continent away. One of us flies to see each other just about every other week (when we don't have our kids - we sync'ed our schedules). So I guess you could say that I have sex every other week. Except on Friday it is usually something like 3-4 times. Saturday, it is another 5-6 times. Sunday we usually hit a slowdown and it's maybe 3-4 times again. So I have no fucking idea how I'd answer that survey Shit, your having sex more often then normal people living together! But given that you both suffered from SM, it makes total sense, you have some time to make up for!
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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 15:50:38 GMT -5
When I was in my SM, the frequency ranged from every few weeks in the beginning to every few years at the end. Now that I'm out, I'm dating ballofconfusion and she lives half a continent away. One of us flies to see each other just about every other week (when we don't have our kids - we sync'ed our schedules). So I guess you could say that I have sex every other week. Except on Friday it is usually something like 3-4 times. Saturday, it is another 5-6 times. Sunday we usually hit a slowdown and it's maybe 3-4 times again. So I have no fucking idea how I'd answer that survey Shit, your having sex more often then normal people living together! But given that you both suffered from SM, it makes total sense, you have some time to make up for! True...It's a very "concentrated" thing. Hell, we usually have trouble making it back from the airport before the passenger is, uh, stimulating the driver. But we are making up for over 45 years of combined SM. I would say, though, that if we did live together we would probably be at the 1x per day or perhaps even 2x per day level. We both have off the charts libidos and were worried at first about scaring the other one off In our defense, we do try to actually "do" something other than each other. Last weekend we watched a movie (in parts...we still can't make it all the way through one). We also went for a motorcycle ride and went to a concert (Cherry Bombs, Dead, Starset, Steel Panther, and Stone Sour).
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