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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 15:53:20 GMT -5
I'm with everyone, honestly I could say everyday, I've done everyday for extended periods of time, past relationships and even in the beginning of my marriage. But now, this calendar year I've had sex once, last 2 years 6 times, 3 years maybe 10 times, so I can say it would be great for everyday, but shit idk if I could lol. Fantasy life would be a morning quicky and an evening long love making, reality 3-4 times a week spotted with oral and heavy petting. I asked for women's responses, because there's a Theory that after four or five years women loose interest in their SO, they stop viewing them as a viable sexual partner. Has something to do with reproduction, after that amount of time they stop seeing their partner as able to reproduce, it's weird, but I kinda bought into it alittle, just because all my kids are 4 years apart, sex life non-existent for 2 years after, year leading up to we get in the weekly bi weekly, the year of conception was 3-5 times a week. As soon as the pregnancy test said positive no sex for at least a year, then a couple pity lays until the cycle reset. Any who I do agree that there is to many variables, I figured a statistical average as 2-3, basically every other day, so to see the number so low, it only makes sense that for every sexless marriage there is a couple going every day. Sounds like you were on the sperm bank plan like I was. As soon as your swimmers were no longer needed? Neither were you.
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 19, 2017 15:55:00 GMT -5
I'm with everyone, honestly I could say everyday, I've done everyday for extended periods of time, past relationships and even in the beginning of my marriage. But now, this calendar year I've had sex once, last 2 years 6 times, 3 years maybe 10 times, so I can say it would be great for everyday, but shit idk if I could lol. Fantasy life would be a morning quicky and an evening long love making, reality 3-4 times a week spotted with oral and heavy petting. I asked for women's responses, because there's a Theory that after four or five years women loose interest in their SO, they stop viewing them as a viable sexual partner. Has something to do with reproduction, after that amount of time they stop seeing their partner as able to reproduce, it's weird, but I kinda bought into it alittle, just because all my kids are 4 years apart, sex life non-existent for 2 years after, year leading up to we get in the weekly bi weekly, the year of conception was 3-5 times a week. As soon as the pregnancy test said positive no sex for at least a year, then a couple pity lays until the cycle reset. Any who I do agree that there is to many variables, I figured a statistical average as 2-3, basically every other day, so to see the number so low, it only makes sense that for every sexless marriage there is a couple going every day. Sounds like you were on the sperm bank plan like I was. As soon as your swimmers were no longer needed? Neither were you. As soon as I said No to #3, the W was done with me.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 16:00:32 GMT -5
Sounds like you were on the sperm bank plan like I was. As soon as your swimmers were no longer needed? Neither were you. As soon as I said No to #3, the W was done with me. I wonder if this works the same for the ladies as well? As soon as the woman provides the children the refusing son of a bitch guy cuts her off?
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 16:13:48 GMT -5
Sounds like you were on the sperm bank plan like I was. As soon as your swimmers were no longer needed? Neither were you. As soon as I said No to #3, the W was done with me. Ironically after #3 my W was done with me, but not with having children! We went on to adopt 3 more. (add to that her daddy moving in with us) 4 more excuses, delays,reasons,alibi's, whatever you want to call it to push our relationship off the burner completely!
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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 16:16:29 GMT -5
As soon as I said No to #3, the W was done with me. Ironically after #3 my W was done with me, but not with having children! We went on to adopt 3 more. (add to that her daddy moving in with us) 4 more excuses, delays,reasons,alibi's, whatever you want to call it to push our relationship off the burner completely! Alibi! I almost choked on my water when I read that. I guess it's what they would call a cold crime scene.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 16:19:46 GMT -5
Ironically after #3 my W was done with me, but not with having children! We went on to adopt 3 more. (add to that her daddy moving in with us) 4 more excuses, delays,reasons,alibi's, whatever you want to call it to push our relationship off the burner completely! Alibi! I almost choked on my water when I read that. I guess it's what they would call a cold crime scene. Murder She Wrote!
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 19, 2017 16:21:27 GMT -5
Greatcoastal, how did you decide to have such a large family?
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 16:29:38 GMT -5
Greatcoastal, how did you decide to have such a large family? Short version: We talked 4 kids for a long time. Child no.4 didn't make it. So we adopted. My W learned and got very involved about adoption. 4 was enough for me, however I gave in to helping another child. One thing lead to another and we where "the family" to rescue another boy, so we adopted two more older boys. Fortunately we have enough house, money, and I was already cooking for 7 so why not 2 more? That's the short version! Just to add a little more to that. I've always been "daddy" material. At 16 I was driving the school bus. Those kids where like my family, I looked out for them in the halls of school. At 19- and for years- I drove church buses, hundreds of kids from the "hood". At 23 I was involved with the Big Brother program, and child care at church. at 33 I had my first child. We decided I would stay home. Being Stay at home dad gave me more and more years of volunteering, and working with children.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 17:19:00 GMT -5
aguywithneeds , the problem is, those surveys report averages. It's useless data. I recall the average for around age 40 works out to about 10 times a month. But there are a lot of us who would be lucky to see once a month. Which means statistically for every sexless guy there's another dude out there seeing 20 times a month. Or two seeing 15x. Regardless, even more than the average. What might be more interesting to know is what is the 'mean' value amongst sexless relationships, and then healthy relationships. Personally, I think my sex drive should be pulling the national averages up, not down. I could be happy with 2x a week. Happier with 3x. I could realistically imagine 5-7x, but not everyday; rather, a couple times a day on weekends and every couple of days during the week. As for the couple who did every night... aside from the sex, that sounds like an incredibly intimate relationship. Sounds amazing. Can't even fathom it. A survey can say what ever you want it to, it all depends on how you ask/word the questions, who you ask, and what answers you throw out. Politics!
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 19, 2017 18:10:02 GMT -5
I don't know what the survey means by a "time" . Is a "time" a single instance of PIV, and is it two minutes or two hours, or can it be foreplay or sharing toys, or what?
Ideally, I would want regular flirting and PDAs, some shared experience every day, getting sweaty three times a week, and all nighters as life allowed.
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Post by workingonit on Oct 19, 2017 18:58:26 GMT -5
I don't know what the survey means by a "time" . Is a "time" a single instance of PIV, and is it two minutes or two hours, or can it be foreplay or sharing toys, or what? Ideally, I would want regular flirting and PDAs, some shared experience every day, getting sweaty three times a week, and all nighters as life allowed. Good Lord that sounds ideal. PDA, flirting, sweatines... yes!
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Post by neonspace on Oct 19, 2017 20:29:35 GMT -5
My spouse usually tries to do her chore(her word, not mine) once a week. Usually on Saturday or Sunday morning she will lock the door and request that I be fast and quiet. It is mechanical and awful. I try to be out of the house for a run, hike or playing with the kids, but it doesn't always happen. She has accused me of avoiding her. She's right. It isn't fun and I do try to avoid it. it isn't enjoyable to have to think about if I'm taking too long, or if she is into it or just being accommodating. The latter always kills me because I know the answer and I have to remind myself that she isn't into it. And just thinking about all that while you were supposed to be enjoying a precious and intimate moment shared with another person is not a positive experience in any way, shape, or form. I feel like that it is worse than being refused months and years at a time. But maybe that's just grass is greener syndrome.
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Post by h on Oct 19, 2017 20:35:46 GMT -5
My spouse usually tries to do her chore(her word, not mine) once a week. Usually on Saturday or Sunday morning she will lock the door and request that I be fast and quiet. It is mechanical and awful. I try to be out of the house for a run, hike or playing with the kids, but it doesn't always happen. She has accused me of avoiding her. She's right. It isn't fun and I do try to avoid it. it isn't enjoyable to have to think about if I'm taking too long, or if she is into it or just being accommodating. The latter always kills me because I know the answer and I have to remind myself that she isn't into it. And just thinking about all that while you were supposed to be enjoying a precious and intimate moment shared with another person is not a positive experience in any way, shape, or form. I feel like that it is worse than being refused months and years at a time. But maybe that's just grass is greener syndrome. Once a week? Wow!! Mine only does her duty once a month when her hormones allow her guilt to overcome her avoidance.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 19, 2017 20:49:30 GMT -5
No matter how long it has been, I can't understand being willing to have sex who so obviously doesn't enjoy it. Ugh.
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Post by baza on Oct 19, 2017 21:14:23 GMT -5
It's like the incidence of diabetes or similar. In my jurisdiction, the authorities reckon the rate is 5% of the population. My point is that if you have it, then for you the rate is 100%.
Just like ILIASM shitholes. If you are in one, then the rate for you is 100%.
Lots of people come on here wondering if there is some indicative index or something to "prove" that they are (or are not) in an ILIASM shithole.
I think that if your circumstances are such that you have been moved to start googling "sexless marriage", then that - all by itself - is a pretty good indicator that you are indeed in an ILIASM shithole.
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