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Post by casual777 on Apr 12, 2024 0:42:40 GMT -5
I think her sisters talking positively about HRT helped . I am fairly sure she doesn’t know about the outsourcing
Strangely enough I don’t want to condone it as it was selfish but in my situation , it kept me upbeat , kept me able to forgive her overly critical approach , and made me think that I needed to go the extra mile when it came to parenting and housework . It didn’t drive us apart . For now , there is peace on every level .
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Post by casual777 on Apr 8, 2024 17:50:10 GMT -5
So I am hoping this is the final update
We had reduced in frequency to below 10 a year , so by definition a sexless marriage
I had used a polyamory website and was meeting a mixed group for group sex
Things picked up last year . We had sex 17 times in 2023
I promised myself I would stop outsourcing if this continues . 8 times in 2024 already so I have deleted all outsourcing apps and will give monogamy a try
Her new HRT patch has made a huge difference . But despite me mentioning it previously it was only when she decides to give it a go that the treatment started . I really want this to work . My kids are 13 and 11. Don’t want to be taking risks
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Update
Aug 29, 2023 16:27:21 GMT -5
via mobile
jerri likes this
Post by casual777 on Aug 29, 2023 16:27:21 GMT -5
I have decided to come off the polyamory website and social media up which connects me to the group meets individuals and try to concentrate on my marriage and parenting . Not sure how long I ll Last but for now it 100 per cent feels like the right decision
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Post by casual777 on Jul 18, 2023 1:10:04 GMT -5
She is accepting of more of my advances . Never initiates. The big plus this year is a less irritable mood overall and more consistency . We went 3 months without last year and that doesn’t look like happening this year because the atmosphere is pleasant
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Post by casual777 on Jul 9, 2023 6:46:07 GMT -5
So having finally plummeted to 9 ‘episodes’ in all of 2022, it’s taken us just over 6 months to get to 10 in 2023. Considering no longer outsourcing now that the passion is more regular in this marriage
It might also be a dead cat bounce , not sure yet
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Post by casual777 on Feb 3, 2023 18:22:09 GMT -5
It’s a confusing situation . My wife got a new job and started 2023 full of joy. We had sex twice and I was ready to pull the plug on outsourcing . But like so many times before it’s the hope that kills. I can see all the long-standing tell tale signs coming back . There is a poly group meet on the 16th of feb and I am a bit torn . I ll probably attend as hell for me would be to cut my ties with outsourcing and be sitting at home full of tension and waiting for crumbs of attention .
The poly group I met on a swinging site . A few women and men hire an interconnecting hotel room and have sex . I am away with work a bit so don’t raise suspicion . I use condoms and tests are always negative
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Post by casual777 on Dec 31, 2022 2:39:20 GMT -5
It’s official . 9 times this year so having threatened to for ages , I am now in a sexless marriage
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Post by casual777 on Dec 1, 2022 0:46:32 GMT -5
I am away with work a lot so every week pretty much one of the group is available as a minimum
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Post by casual777 on Nov 22, 2022 17:39:14 GMT -5
I use one website and I have met a number of women on it who are repeat meets
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Post by casual777 on Nov 22, 2022 17:29:34 GMT -5
So I posted previously Frequency had been decreasing Hadn’t quite hit single figures per annum I had started outsourcing Strangely I got into a poly situation with s mixed group . My outlet is a mixed group male and female Well in 2022 we are up to 8 episodes of intercourse at home . I think this year will be the year of actual statistical sexlessness rather than feared sexlessness The only big thing for me is summer holidays . I have said that I have little interest in visiting family resorts where other couples are Kissing and rubbing suntan lotion on each other when she is so averse to being tactile with me Why would I spend thousands being less happy than I am at home .? She is unhappy at this as she wants similar holidays to what we are used to rather Than renting a villa or a city break . It’s good for her to see a conséquence of her refusal and a genuine one not a punitive action from me . Other than that kids are good , we don’t argue much , I do lots of housework , and things look normal from the outside Her refusal to have any discussions with the doctor about dealing with peri menopausal issues means i have little interest in stopping outsourcing . I am not a victim here . I am a red blooded male trying to manage sexless ness at home and being very aware that divorce will impact the kids
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Post by casual777 on Mar 19, 2022 2:40:37 GMT -5
An interesting and unique book. Searingly honest . Has a number of helpful suggestions as how to tackle low libido . Erectile dysfunction , self care and marital ups and downs whilst leaving no stone left unturned . Leaves me with a number of questions I am keen to ask the author , but her unflinching self evaluation suggests that she is very aware of some of the repeated patterns throughout . Recommended
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Post by casual777 on Mar 12, 2022 2:51:23 GMT -5
Several chapters into this and it’s a powerful read
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Post by casual777 on Oct 16, 2021 11:21:29 GMT -5
The problem is for some , having that conversation is not an option. If she opts for a separation our kids , who are super thriving , may or may not continue to thrive . This is a risk I won’t take now . When they approach adulthood I will .
If she finds out about my outsourcing that’s another Matter. That I am not stopping , it’s marvellous and means I am functioning . The show must go on and does until it doesn’t because I get busted or I confront .
I hope neither happens and HRT and less supervision and oversight of youngish kids growing up increases the frequency . I have gone long periods without outsourcing when things were good and hope this happens again . What I won’t do is sit on my hands waiting for a miracle
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Post by casual777 on Oct 11, 2021 1:14:06 GMT -5
I accepted that as a result of work and parenting pressures and fairly regular sex refusal I had to work on my mood . I had become a grump .
So I did the yoga , gratitude , sport, reading self help stuff and it did help. I am much more pleasant to be around . The sex in the marriage ? Not so much . We will barely make it to double figures this year . So I outsource very regularly . Turns out being a cheerful fit individual helps when seeking extra marital sex
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Post by casual777 on Apr 24, 2021 1:06:22 GMT -5
Sorry to sound harsh, but attempting to touch your W intimately while she is unconscious when you know full well that she won’t like it is morally questionable at best. That is not going to prove a fruitful path to the willingly given and enthusiastic affection you seek. Change tack. And quickly. Important to have a better moning Routine. A gratitude list , meditation , get up , do yoga , come back to bed, or make breakfast and bring it to bed. Cuddle her with no expectation . The morning will be a 6/10 regardless of sex .
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