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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 11:32:28 GMT -5
After wife and I agreed that I could seek out others for sex, I joined a dating/sex site.
I found out some very interesting things there. Mainly I found that there are many men seeking other men for sex.
I would often get messaged "swap BJs" by "straight" men.
The guys would always tell me that they got no sex from their wife and were seeking men as a way to satisfy that desire.
Their wives had no idea and they were being secretive about it. Most professed to be straight but wanted to suck a cock and get sucked also. I find that fascinating and could write a book from all that I learned. Guys like that men can have sex at the drop of a hat and with anyone, any time, anywhere. Also many believe that men give much better blow jobs then their wives.
I cant say how it goes for the girls.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 4, 2016 13:13:44 GMT -5
After wife and I agreed that I could seek out others for sex, I joined a dating/sex site. I found out some very interesting things there. Mainly I found that there are many men seeking other men for sex. I would often get messaged "swap BJs" by "straight" men. The guys would always tell me that they got no sex from their wife and were seeking men as a way to satisfy that desire. Their wives had no idea and they were being secretive about it. Most professed to be straight but wanted to suck a cock and get sucked also. I find that fascinating and could write a book from all that I learned. Guys like that men can have sex at the drop of a hat and with anyone, any time, anywhere. Also many believe that men give much better blow jobs then their wives. I cant say how it goes for the girls. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I have thoughts on this... But am short on time. As long as everyone is safe, who cares about the chromosome difference  x |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 4, 2016 13:24:07 GMT -5
One of my best friends did this, but he's also been bisexual as long as I've known him. His ex-wife, however, would've still considered it cheating if she'd found out.
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 4, 2016 13:40:11 GMT -5
I sometimes wondered if my ex didn't go there.
I doubt he did but in regards to my feelings on the issue in my case where I was denied sex:
I feel that if that was the case then he should have been honest and if you lose attraction for someone and deny them sex so that you can have fun then I hope there's a special place in Hell for those refusers.
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Post by litnerd on Aug 4, 2016 14:44:38 GMT -5
One of my best friends did this, but he's also been bisexual as long as I've known him. His ex-wife, however, would've still considered it cheating if she'd found out. I'm bisexual, and I would definitely consider it cheating if I hooked up with another woman while in a relationship, regardless of whether my partner was a man or woman. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 14:55:01 GMT -5
Yeah on the Down Low. Safety is paramount. Gay men aren't so promiscuous because they're gay. They're so promiscuous because they're men. So if you go on the Down Low there's a good chance you'll be at risk for HIV/STI so don't bring it back to your wife on the off chance you ever have sex. Honestly, I used to work on a HIV/STI hotline and I can't tell you how many calls started out, "I'm straight but I had sex with a guy..." Uh huh you're not straight you're in the closet and now you've given your wife the Clap because no sir you're no faggot you're straight so you screw your wife and the Closet claims another victim. Ending stigma and mystification around sexuality will turn STIs into statistical blips, not the epidemic it is now. But Noooo we have to remain silent to kids about disease prevention and birth control, because if you don't tell them about sex, they won't have it!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 15:00:16 GMT -5
I sometimes wondered if my ex didn't go there. I doubt he did but in regards to my feelings on the issue in my case where I was denied sex: I feel that if that was the case then he should have been honest and if you lose attraction for someone and deny them sex so that you can have fun then I hope there's a special place in Hell for those refusers. Oh yes, to answer the question, right. I had a gf and towards the end as the relationship wasted away and died we stopped having sex, and I was really pissed to find out she'd been getting it on with a lady. It wasn't a surprise because I knew she was bi, but a mistress should have been in addition to me, not instead of me. |
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Post by Caris on Aug 4, 2016 15:00:18 GMT -5
The thought of me having sex with another woman repulses me. I'm not wired that way. I think if you are having sexual relations with the same sex, then you are definitely not straight, or at the least bisexual.
Regardless, I don't blame anyone in an ILIASM sh*t hole, for seeking their needs to be met outside the marriage, although I didn't do it myself.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 15:46:55 GMT -5
My only other LTr ended partly because my gf wanted to have a separate, independent relationship with another woman....she said it did not concern me, was a separate part of her life....
Can I just once have a relationship with a woman who loves men and sex!!?? Both together??!! I have never had that in my life.....
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Post by Isabellas39 on Aug 4, 2016 15:47:55 GMT -5
I believe if a man is straight no way in hell would he proposition another man...In the end, it's still cheating whether you're doing it with someone of the same sex or not.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 4, 2016 16:32:03 GMT -5
The thought of engaging in sexual activity with another male disgusts me. Everything about it seems unnatural and aberrant. Obviously others feel differently, but for me, no way.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 16:54:58 GMT -5
This sounds like my friends husband. I will never forget how upset she was when she found him on craigslist looking for a man to have sex with. She left him after about a year of therapy & trying to figure out if he was in fact bi-sexual. He was such a good manipulator that he convinced her that what she saw with her own eyes wasn't real!
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Post by baza on Aug 4, 2016 18:00:09 GMT -5
Everyone has their own version of what constitutes cheating.
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Mine ?
Yep, I'd regard the scenario you describe as cheating.
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So what ?
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I'd assume that if your missus - "agreed that I could seek out others for sex" - as you say, then she wouldn't give a shit whether it was with a bloke or a chick.
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Either way, it ain't going to do much, if anything, to resolve the core problem of being in an ILIASM shithole.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 18:00:58 GMT -5
I don't think that switching to the other gender is a realistic solution to the problem of a SM. And I don't think switching to the other gender is something most people can do easily, the way you change to a new hairstyle. (MOST people. I know some people really are bi, pansexual, or something else - not trying to discount those folks.)
And FWIW, I think that it is still outsourcing or cheating, even if you do it with the gender you do not normally prefer.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 5, 2016 0:16:04 GMT -5
Yeah. Cheating is still cheating regardless of the sex of the person you do it with.
But as for the gay or straight thing, I believe we all lie somewhere on a scale between the two. And I believe that scale can be tipped at different life stages.
I kind of don't like rules. Sometimes.
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