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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 19:03:49 GMT -5
On a lark, I emailed the attorney I had planned to call tomorrow. She got right back to me and I have an appt tomorrow afternoon!
And I'm absolutely deliriously happy about it! Is that a normal reaction? Does it mean I'm really done with this marriage? Or does it just mean this pink-haired gal is crazy as the day is long? (Please say the former.)
Honestly, I haven't felt this at peace or this joyful since the last time I thought I was leaving. Only this time, I do believe it's for REAL!
I'll update after appt tomorrow. So excited!
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Post by unmatched on Jul 24, 2016 19:11:01 GMT -5
No, you are definitely still in the asylum. But you just found the door to get out!
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 24, 2016 19:19:40 GMT -5
I'm happy and nervous for you at the same time!! Before I launch into a list of things to do and expect from my trivial three lawyer visit experience, answer this. Where you asked to bring any documentation, and do you have one or two major questions that you want answered?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 19:21:16 GMT -5
On a lark, I emailed the attorney I had planned to call tomorrow. She got right back to me and I have an appt tomorrow afternoon! And I'm absolutely deliriously happy about it! Is that a normal reaction? Does it mean I'm really done with this marriage? Or does it just mean this pink-haired gal is crazy as the day is long? (Please say the former.) Honestly, I haven't felt this at peace or this joyful since the last time I thought I was leaving. Only this time, I do believe it's for REAL! I'll update after appt tomorrow. So excited! Funny I just posted about how this part is the scariest. Maybe it isn't. It if it is once you do it you'll feel a weight off your shoulders. And yes, now it's real. The worst may or may not yet be to come. Depends how reasonable your SBTX (which now you can really call him) is. But if it comes to a big fight you'll be amazed at how much you can pull up when you have to dig really deep. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 19:23:54 GMT -5
I'm happy and nervous for you at the same time!! Before I launch into a list of things to do and expect from my trivial three lawyer visit experience, answer this. Where you asked to bring any documentation, and do you have one or two major questions that you want answered? Yes, and bring any evidence of abuse or infidelity. It may or may not matter depending on your jurisdiction, and you may not need to use it, but it's good to have Big Bertha if you need it. |
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Post by adventura on Jul 24, 2016 19:34:30 GMT -5
It's normal to have wildly varying emotional reactions as you move through the process, so be ready for some wacky mood swings in case they occur. I hope not, though. I hope this is your heart telling you that you truly are done and ready to deal with whatever comes next.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jul 24, 2016 19:44:05 GMT -5
So happy for you that you have made this step! Calling the lawyer was one of the more difficult steps, made it so very real. I was relieved once I made the appointment, but went in feeling like a deer in headlights (and probably looked it, too!). I had a file of documents, including estimated values of joint property, bank balances, shared debt, differences in income, some guesses as to my living expenses after moving out of the shared home, and a list of questions to ask. My lawyer and I accomplished much in that first hour meeting, and I used her to help review the divorce documents once drawn up by the mediator.
Best of luck tomorrow!!!
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Post by baza on Jul 24, 2016 19:51:14 GMT -5
During my lawyer consult back in the day, I suddenly felt quite discombobulated.
It was obvious early on in the consult that a divorce would shake out ok for me (and for my missus too actually) which you'd figure would have produced a feeling of elation in me.
It didn't.
Rather, it felt like an extra load had been hoisted on to my shoulders, that load being having the fate of the marriage being solely at my discretion.
The major barrier was down and it was time for me to shit, or get off the pot.
I found that very intimidating, very sobering.
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Your mileage may vary.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 24, 2016 19:51:28 GMT -5
I suggest you prepare a list of questions for her. And you should reacquaint yourself with your financial situation and assets, like 401K's,IRA's, checking accounts etc. and who accumulated the most in the retirement plans. This way she can give you an idea of how the division.Anything financial you can think of you should be prepared to address.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 20:10:08 GMT -5
I'm guessing you're elated because you took an active step and that feels really good. There's power in movement. But I second Adventura - be prepared for some mood swings (also normal).
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Post by ggold on Jul 24, 2016 20:19:13 GMT -5
@elle. I had such mixed emotions during my consultation. I was proud of myself for taking that step, nervous, upset, excited. I continue to feel mixed-up. I have to send in the paperwork and the money to get started. I have not been able to bring myself to do this yet. This is one scary roller coaster ride that I want to get off of!! Good luck to you sweetie!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 20:19:44 GMT -5
I'm guessing you're elated because you took an active step and that feels really good. There's power in movement. But I second Adventura - be prepared for some mood swings (also normal). Like when he lawyers up. Then it's really real. |
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Post by Neotericgal on Jul 24, 2016 21:02:44 GMT -5
During my lawyer consult back in the day, I suddenly felt quite discombobulated. It was obvious early on in the consult that a divorce would shake out ok for me (and for my missus too actually) which you'd figure would have produced a feeling of elation in me. It didn't. Rather, it felt like an extra load had been hoisted on to my shoulders, that load being having the fate of the marriage being solely at my discretion. The major barrier was down and it was time for me to shit, or get off the pot. I found that very intimidating, very sobering. - Your mileage may vary. This is exactly the feeling that I had when I left the office Friday. |
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Post by baza on Jul 24, 2016 21:16:39 GMT -5
@adorably.
I ought to add then, that that feeling largely dissipated after going for a loooong walk after my consultation, as I rolled the whole thing around in my head.
Over some days, the feeling morphed in to a feeling of acceptance, and over some weeks, a deep resolve to see it through.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 21:36:29 GMT -5
I'm guessing you're elated because you took an active step and that feels really good. There's power in movement. But I second Adventura - be prepared for some mood swings (also normal). Noted, very good point. Yes, taking an active step is huge. I have to say, I have actually seen an attorney already - about 3 years ago. So, I've been keeping financial documents, etc. This time feels different though, less scary, less sad (not at ALL sad!), and much more REAL! unmatched, made me laugh. Thx. ggold, thanks for the heads up. I hate roller coasters, so probably rough ride ahead! Baby steps, right?? The lawyer I am seeing is a mediator. I will insist on mediation. H will agree because he's cheap that way! In fact, I intend to use a velvet glove/iron fist approach with him, designed to make him roll over like the dog he is. Kill him with kindness and all. Wish me luck with that! I'll update tomorrow. |
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